You’re a crash out,
Life hanging in the fray,
Like meat on a hook,
Begging the gator to grab it’s bite.

Worthless in your self indulgent importance
Weak bodied malcontent
A mental amputee with no prosthetic to aid a thought
Narcissus in Australian skin
You resemble worthless.

You prey on children
Like a bad Freddy Krueger film
Promises of encouragement
In crude pornographic suggestions
Buy them off in golden tickets,
But no one buys the chocolate,
You’re no Wonka at all.

Derelict in a domicile
A stranger to your ailing family
Not one reaches to save,
Just wishes you’d die to match the day
You died in their eyes
Already forgotten, beside a grave
A walking cancer, zombie like in parasitic need
A whirlwind of discomforting regrets
Wrapped in a middle aged obese frame,
No one could ever love you.

Sad impotent invalid,
With your melodramatic fallacies
Crying wolf to any ears unaware
And yet the only animal resides
Behind beady feminine eyes,

The mirror reflects,
And reality rejects
A simple, simpleton
With tiny hands,
And malformed manhood
Better befitting a woman’s pleasure nub,
You stimulate not even an emotion from the corpses.

I don’t hate you though,
No hate requires a measurement of care
And the truth is if you disappeared,
And washed ashore a bleached whale,
And they said you wrote me love letters
I’d disregard you the same,
Take your animosities and add them into a sum of zero
Because I feel nothing but indifference

A predator that ***** at hunting prey
And I am the poacher,
I’ll skin you while you’re alive
Just so you can see the ugly underneath
The muscle will touch acidic baths,
And the current will wash you away.

You wish to ****** a child,
But I have ****** your brain,
Without consent and there is no safe word
And no where new you can hide,
Because you kicked this hornet’s nest
And I am not so easily extinguished
An eternal flame to watch you burn
I’ll render you embers and ash,
And spread you across the web
Like outstretched stars in the universe
A connect the dots to the face of a *******

And I’ll watch you hang yourself
By the very rope you’ve woven
With every lie typed and spoken
I will see you, destroy yourself.
And then I will have peace.

Cinderblock thick
Why do you try to climb the parapets
This little heart of mine sings in a choir
Where dolorous notes emit percussive blows against the chest
Leave me to my cimmerian chamber,
It doesn’t suit you to pine away for an apparition
The man you knew is a specter,
A noctambulant wanderer forgotten, moribund.

The skies dressed in lachrymose grey,
As you stare at photographs,
Caught in an eidolon daydream,
But even in your greatest incarnation
You could not evoke yesterday,
Nor could I remember how to feign feeling.

I was cast aside,
Left in my melancholy,
Bereft of my ailing mind,
Imprisoned in mortiferous thought
Despondent to the fabrics of the real
And when I puzzled me back like a jigsaw
I was left with missing pieces,
Tenebrous figures pull at the light
To put out the light,
And in this last flickering candle,
Would you close the door to phantasmagoric fantasies
So I can introduce you to the man I am today,
The one you’ll never deceive or condescend
A true version of humility wrapped in masculine tenacity
I am more than meets the mind’s eye
A force of malevolence for those who dare upset my peace.

Touch me like a thousand threads
And stitch me to your heart,
Fasten me in crochet pattern,
I wish to feel the rise and fall of every beat
And kiss every broken vessel

Let me drink you in,
Become a vassal
An aegis to ward off the hordes of hell
Who hound like hungry wolves
Nipping at your beauty
Distorting the white in red bit marked linen.

Even as I dissipate,
Slowly eroding like ancient oak
Borrow the strength of my core
And burn the rest to shine the light
And warm your soul,
In the afterglow of a life once lived
May the smoke of knowledge
Fill your lungs like autumn air.

Remember me,
When too tired for goodbyes
And the bridge falls apart
With me in the middle,
Caught in the grasp of a morrow
I can never achieve,
If only to give you life
In a single breath

Know that I love you
Always, and in every passing moment
Yesterday, now, tomorrow,
A thousand years in either direction,
Across many names and faces,
As star dust intertwined in helix
Broken but for magnetic dealings
Black magic in practice,
Bound like tomes that read our story
Arcane in its kinetic energy.

Forever was but a fools errand,
I have loved you since the spark,
Since the dawn of stars,
When planets were but scattered marbles
Seeking a purpose, I have loved you then.
As I always will.

I am a wolf among ravens,
A transient beast coated in black and silver,
My touch was tenebrous and cold,
Yet I feel your ache -
As unrequited moans ululate
While trembling fingers fumble in honied perversions
Picturing the unseen numinous shape,

I am but an appetite.

Hereupon the cusp of nightfall,
Hear the lugubrious wails crash the panes,
Stained glass refracting artificial,
If you close your eyes,
Look past empyrean gates
Into the coruscating twilight
You will find me there.

Would it be all that you dreamt?
If you could sate your hunger,
Fill your *** with swollen flesh,
Would you then feel the syncretic pull
Break like opposed magnetic ends,
Or is it the chase you crave?
The shadow that slakes pale fingertips in silken wet,
Expression digressions in such southern salivation.

Are you still hungry,
If I gave you the meal you crave;
Would the attention offered -
Provide solace and end your endless need,
Or will you still beckon for more?

I am but an appetite.

As the days grow long,
Find me verdant resplendence
Surrounded by arboreal critters,
Birds singing in their jazz sessions
And all that muck carried with it’s baggage
Evaporates into the ether.

Here a gentle breeze-
Brings the susurrus of leaves
Sounding like waves hitting the shore
We can get lost in dendritic umbrage
Walking these beaten paths to find
Solace in the sylvan -
Our own Eden if only for fleeting little moments.

Moments caught in a photograph, ethereal -
Looking back at all the light and love therein
Clarity pokes through the dark of thought
Crepuscular stars align in the shape of a heart
Consolation in constellations,
Diamonds for your soul for surviving the rough
Here in the calm of nature blooms incipient
Flowers' color and scent -
As a morrow’s dew spreads the perfume
I am home at last.

Copper high notes,
Something mixed in the iron
Redder than a Syrah,
Dripping down and off frigid white marble
A puddled pool, light refracting
While I stare into the crimson mirror,
Bathe me in you,
Blanket me in your wet pneuma,
Intoxicated in the Luke warm,
In between each finger stir until sediment
Black obsidian
Alive next to your emptied meridian,
Remembered in the earnest of taste
And always now, a part of me, consumed.

Ryan Geoffrey Hayward has me blocked, and is consistently defaming me and libeling me on his page.

Unlike him, I'm not about to go on a huge tangent.

The guy is an online predator, you can ask Kai, and her brother Caesar.

You can go to all poetry and just inquire to half of the site "who is Ryan Hayward" and they will all tell you the same thing.

He's the one who is permanently banned from that site, and who has been banned on this site previously in the past and has deleted accounts, made new accounts etc.

As for evidence, if you want to see evidence of anything I claimed you can check my blog, or sub-reddit. This "man" has been threatening children and vulnerable women for months on end, and has creepd out children.

As for Mister Truth...I don't know the person, I don't interact with them, nor have i looked into any of the allegations against him, that's not my beef and has nothing to do with me. I came here to write poetry and warn children of one specific person.

I am a father of a 16 yr old and I would want someone looking out for my kid if they knew a predator was lurking out there.

https://curiouscaseofryangeoffreyhayward.wordpress.com

Answer your phone,
Oh I got a question for you
And I can’t wait to hear the echo
Of your answers ricochet through your lungs
I’m hoping you can play the game.

Am I outside your front window?
Or in the crawlspace in your parent’s attic?
Can you hear me in your television
Or does the tape tracking leave a static
Disconnect from your mesmeric dance
Please don’t leave me on read, pick up your phone
I need to know, I need to know.

Am I the cold of a closet void?
Do you see me staring at you with my mouth agape
I’m impatiently pacing the patience within me
Just to hear you answer and ask me please,
Agony in black cotton and latex,
And I guess I’m as aroused as you’d expect
Foreplay until the sharp licks the skin
And I’m bathing in your warm red ichor
Answer the phone Sid, I need to know, I need to know


What is your favorite scary movie?

Scream for me,
Scream,
Scream loud
Scream sayonara
Scream sweet Sidney, scream
For me.

What’s your favorite scary movie?

She spoke like silk,
Each note of her cadence mellifluous,
Like poured honey,
Or creamy caramel,
Coaxing Obsequious vibratos
Annoying synapses to fire steam engines,
Perspiring pores pour-over,
Lost in the scent of the petrichor
While the heart beats like jazz drums,
Off rhythm but always on key.

She is Aphrodite in the flesh,
Pulchritudinous personified
Her body teases,
With the flick soft susurrus of each silken strand
As it falls over her white marbled face,
Rose flushed cheeks perk with a gentle smile,
I am enraptured unequivocally.

Please raze me,
Burn me in your ineffable stare,
I am but a sacrifice for your ephemeral grace,
Given to me in a hushed moment, evanescent
And in the very pyre of my embers,
Ashes redolent with a hint of leather and desperation,
Forever ensnared even in ghastly vapor,
I am but a humble apparition
Timelessly chasing the moon,
Lost to axiomatic fantasies -
A transient tryst amid mists.

Under the neon lights, he basks where the moon goes,
his pale glow illuminating alabaster skin.
It’s like watching cattle if cattle could dance,
with black leather contrasting against those-
candy apple red-tipped fingernails darting about, drawing little trails.
He follows, a shade, a shape, unseen as the rave rages and laser lights blaze. He grabs her and places a pallid digit on her frigid lips,
“Shh, be not afraid,”
his voice with a Methuselah accent, ancient leather-scented.
Like a lion to a gazelle, he rips into her nape and escapes to the alleyway.
“Be not afraid,”
he whispers as she awakens the next day,
the sun blistering her eyes in a baleful glow.
She now abhors the light that once adorned her soul,
all she can remember is the pleasure,
the pangs of ******* splendor in his death grip,
as her vitae drained to a drunkard,
reddest wines divined to replenish his luster.
As hers dulls into ashen white ivory,
she is in love with the notion of death, as he kills to stay alive.

I am dirtied by the rain,
Awash with the remnants
Remains of the cleansed.
Scour each pore to take it in
Red, blistering, fever-pitched
I can still hear the harmonies
Tethered together, unified
All in a circle -
conflagrate and dance in a sea of flame.

Seasonal
Like allergens
I’m puffy-faced,
Annoyed by the presence.
Hoping you catch the drift
Before I blow my nose like a car horn
“Out of my way”
Always with your static traffic
Conjecture and loose metaphors.

Temper on the rise like the temperature
And the temperament I use could quell a blade
Lest you challenge the sharpness of my tongue
And the ways I can cut you with precision.

Fractal pieces
Of broken mirror
Shows you and you alone
And you can’t face you
So how do you suppose I can?

No, you don’t seem to get this-
You’re parasitic like a leech
Or worse yet a bed bug
You infest with unwanted reverie,
And spread your insipid tragedies
******* my oxygen - and I’m asthmatic
So I puff on the albuterol like a lit cigarette
I hope you get the drift.

You don’t
No, you can’t read a room
Third-grade level intellect
Wrapped in middle-aged mold,
A pustulant excrement that speaks flatulence
And I can smell you from across the street.

Just shh…
Take it somewhere else,
Let me herd you to a new shepherd
I have no use for a lolcow,
The milk is sour and you’re not my kind of cheese
Sleazing on anything that breathes,
You’d breed with a steer if it had the parts
Create a satyr as dim-witted as you,
At least then I could use this buckshot.

Memory will forget you
Like history missed you,
Nothing garnered or gained
A name that means nothing,
Just pass like wind -
And cease your prattling.

I care not.

This putrescent bouquet,
Molts petals from its beauty
Dullen colors once vibrant,
Now sullen and drained of vibrancy,
Caught in the umbral,
Everything ends and as I -
Grasp the last thorny stem,
I lay upon the marble slate moribund.

Take grasp of my cadaverous hand,
Hold me in trepidation, but don’t falter
Bite your flesh until the wine spills,
Little rivers pooling like ruby lipstick
Now kiss me, parasitic, I feed
And once renewed,
I’ll return to you,
A flower in blossom once again.

Curious got me this far,
But conviction has done me in
Periphery sights in the fore
Can’t see what’s settling in
Give me what I came for,
And I’m out the door again.

Craving sylvan hillsides
Verdant and turbulent,
Set me down under arboreal parasols
Only glints of radiance grace the skin,
A life full of demons, I confess my sin
Here within the confluence baptized in chimerical reverence.

Jade eyes staring into the cerulean sky,
Seeking truth in nebulous phantasmagoria
Counting clouds pushed by a zephyr,
Evanescent temperance,
Fleeting like a whisper,
Caught in the ineffable grandiose
Let me wander here, aimlessly.

I wish to see scintillating diamonds
‘Cross the crepuscular horizons
Grant me resplendence in gazing into the obsidian
Contemplating the cosmos and all that tableau science,
Lose me into the abstract chasing the infinite
Nebula iridescence covers me in oil slick coating
And light the match, I am but a burning star.

Curious got me this far.

Like a cancerous tumor,
I can excise you from life.
I can take the remnants of the pustule tumor
And throw it under the microscope
So I can examine the very molecular structure of your brokenness.

I could study every atomic particle,
What your traumas informed you
Into formulating this visage you created,
How the vile black sludge of your soul -
Is nothing more than gangrene gone spoiled.

Your ineptitude of self-reflection
Blocked by the cataracts of your vision
As you placate to your strengths that play out like a weakness,
No, you were born this way, malignant and malformed
A malcontent of circumstance of poor decision making,
Raised in ways that raze the page of parenthood,
Always a burden, never a gift.

See it's in the nucleus of the cells
That deforms cognition in your riddled mind
As the wine collects and clots like blood vessels
Creating a perpetual loop of your self-destructive patterns
You are auto-immune, eating yourself alive
And yet growing in your toxicity, even now
Cut and dissected, your roots reach out like needy hands.

But I am rid of you, and we are free
No matter the pageantry, or remerging bumps -
I am cured of you, forever rid of the stench
As you flail upon the slide, hoping a humble host will accept,
But like all things discarded, you will find the landfill to be a home.

Under the current currents
This maelstrom pulls to the bottom
Drown out all sound and colors as they bleed
Into the monochromatic release
The dark can see in the very light you hold
Bioluminescent under the black lit citadels
Reveal secrets in neon tell-tale epitaphs
Tomes scrolling our invocations into life.

What is done in the black dark soon comes to light
Monsters all come alive,  
Devour love and insight your fright,
But it’s not, how you remember these
Torrid torrential memories
Raining down like meteors crashing upon the sea
Fires burning but you’re caught in a freeze
So before it burns away, melting everything down to a stave
I want it all, one last confession, and count your blessings,
The tide will erase. Start on a new unaltered page.

Where do good angels
Go to burn their wings?
Under the current of your currents
Coalesce into a verse
Tethered as one as the song carries on
Bite the bullet, and know for certain
What’s done in the dark comes to light
And you shine so bright under the blackest
Through torrid torrential memories,
The tide will erase, start on a new unaltered page
What would you write if the right could see
Through your heart and past misery,
Could the trauma efface, the love panned across the face
If you truly sat upon the graves,
Monsters dancing moribund across your brain
Burn your wings, and coalesce

I want to shine in your darkest.

She’s lost circling corners
As the flash of green turns to red
A stop and go, she goes to stop
But she’s driven
Down these roads she knows-
There’s a dead end,
As deadened eyes affix
Time to play for tricks

Anything you want
She’ll do anything
Need to feel something more
Feigning for a feeling
Numb as they take
Paint her in their *******
One more meal to make
One more as the shame drips down

“Oh mister dealer,
Can you please make it better,
I need my medicine”

She can’t see the stars
The sky won’t let her
No matter how high she climbs
Down the boulevard
Retracing the steps she took
And where she lost her soul
Gingerbread man chases,
A race in the faceless
As veins scream in agony
But there’s a smile upon her,
Is it better now?

Hours pass
And she’s circling corners
Stop and go,
She goes to stop
Driving down a dead end.

When all that stares back
Are faced unfamiliar
Looking at me peculiar
Like something wrong in the molecules
Piecing together the math abstraction in my intervals.

They try to lash out with their sabers
Cut me down the middle
Find a piece of me they can savor
All their clap-backs speak in drivel
Got a question for the mainframe
Go ahead and quandary this little riddle.:

If you plagiarize my symptoms,
And make a symphony of my sympathy
How can I take you seriously,
When all I see staring back is failed copies and incompletes?

Competency gone in the zero
Lash back in your hack attacks
Like **** me with laymen
Punchlines hit like wet ramen
I’m soggy from your softness
Brittle like dry pasta,
I boil over til I’m screamin’

What you do in fantasy,
I make reality, for me there’s no pretend.

All out of pretense
Come at me with your sharp swords
I got a few weapons of my own,
Strike at your nerve core
See if I can make a mannequin dance
When I pull the strings.

I told you I laugh last,
Because all I leave are corpses,
Now ring around a Rosie
Pockets full of posies
Ashes to ashes I’ll break you down.

Defiant, I won’t budge
Unburdened by eyes that judge,
What am I supposed to fear?
I’ve seen hell and met the devil
I’m absolved of contrition.

Do you want to see blood?
Wish to break my skin like ceramic
See the red spill and maybe watch me panic
But I’m made of granite,
Please take me for granted
Swing and watch as bones fold
Crumble, dirt piles I climb
Why would I be humble?

Life shackled to the sun
Not sure how many more turns I have,
But If I’m spinning vinyl then I guess —
Maybe I should impress with a new sound
Parroting the last, in parody at last
We can both share the last laugh
Languished in an ice bath
Cool down the war machine
And let the time-lapse.

I hate everything you are,
Down to the way you nasally breathe,
Down to the way your hair reacts to a breeze,
The way you betray nature by ******* on leaves
And call it poetry when you release
I bet you feel oh-so relieved I’ve taken leave
But trust me, lyrical bullets don’t miss
When I’m allergic to lies and sneeze truths.

I am no fool
You drew the Joker,
Place your bets,
Know I haven’t lost a hand yet.
Defiant, I won’t budge

It looks upon me
The dreadful thing
Wheezing through sardonic cackles
With razor teeth in uneven rows
Layers between the putrescent gums,
Saliva dripping like silk lubricant;
Eyes of fire and silt glow like embers in umbrage.
Thin pallid fingers with claw-like nails reach -
Unclean poisoned tips infecting with just the most innocent scratch.

The light abound atrophies within malcontent
As its hunched frame moves to blind the windowed view,
It smells of a potpourri of putridness mixed with viscera
Bile scented, sulphuric perfume,
It traces words into being as sound travels in silence
Caught in the misanthropic way it dances about the window
Drowning the light by consuming its grace.

I haven’t eaten in days and it salivates more
Hunger is what hurts it, I can feel the pangs -
Escape is futile, as limbs go insubordinate.
Voices long forgotten to haunt in stereo, off-beat,
Whispers of the past forbade now repeat
And each orb that ignited the dark plays back like pub televisions,
Memories brought to you by catatonic erosion
Mine for the low price of a soul sacrificed,
And three easy payments of lives yet lived.
It follows through the streamline,

Embedded in my *****
******* those swimming agents,
May each one lose the race and fall like lemmings
Disgraced and discarded among it
If only it can end with me - as it paces
Rays catching face, dialing pupils
Hissing like an annoyed cat I am famished
Accustom to the cold lingering -
Awash in the warm coddled embrace
And quickly back into the frigid again.
It follows, and it won’t be long now
Until it swallows,  grinding me within the endless maw
Torn and ripped to shreds by thorns adored as ivory teeth -
Consumed by the hungering doubt,
Depression’s evocation in divine rites

Demon

Tear it down like Babylon
Burn the bridges to a Nero song
If my veins erupt like Vesuvius
I’ll dance with you, in a sea of flame!

Discordant screams laquer the air
In hopes to break obsidian skies
But there’s no light to pierce a veil
Or love to save their failed
Veils that hide pale pallid frowns
As the black meets red, exsanguinate

We dance at the wrath of the ancients
Music in the maw of entropy
The sepulchral choir of immutable expanse
Into the end of all things
As the flames belie the pyres of the crucible of souls
We are burning to live one last breath

Obliterate the hopes for tomorrow
When the baleful bane of moonlight bleeds
And in the red cask of her eminent death
Sheds the resonance to a dim lit dominion
All that is ****** and cursed
Coil in serpentine swagger

As the walls of reality rend like marbled meat
Rotting on the spit,  can you taste oblivion?

Tear it down like Babylon
Burn the bridges to a Nero song
As the world conflagrates  in its timid spin
I’ll dance with you in a sea of flames!

Here among giants,
Beauty so unrequited,
I could not return the pleasantry
A beast walking through your pageantry
Hoping to get lost in the foliage,
Somewhere between the shade of a canopy
And the gleaming beans of the sun’s cleaning rays,
I am a needy lover, and you give all that I need

Endlessly.

***** me in roughage,
Tatter the canvas,
And muddy my boots
I am immersed like a cocooning pupa
Waiting for the day you let me bloom
Become the moth you choose
To run circles around
Chasing your bewildering light.

Endlessly.

Tourniquet my brokenness
With a few vines and thorns to close the openness
I stress, that I could never repay your comforting
A nursing cradle, while I nap within the quiet zephyrs
Or rush with paddles down your tumultuous streams
Engulfed in the showers of waterfalls,
Searching over cliffs to the sky horizon
Indigo ombre to deepen purples
Counting diamonds that dress you up
As the moon spotlights your highlights
I can rest here, forever and -

Endlessly.

For ages as your aegis
Ageless as years fly by,
Boundless beauty,
It never left you
Even as the golden sun
Fills the cracks of your wrinkles,
Steadfast into the morrow
I will love you, Endlessly.

Chin checked
Nothing left,
Cornered snake
In deep depths
Vice gripped
And I’m a honey badger
Teeth ripping while killer grinning
There is no multiverse where you do not give in.

See what I can do-
To a vile stain
With these viral strains
Corrupt the mainframe
And reduce the ego within the brain
Narcissism in lame
You can’t even stand your name
A stage act with no sitters
And those wolf tickets you sold withers
None gather to see the corpse of your dithered -
Tethered little tangents rapid in rampant
But the rapids of my violence will topple ramparts
Until you are nothing but grounded stone
Pebbles and granite sand,
No one from nowhere, never will be man.

You feign safety
Think the screen protects
But spiders crawl to spin your world wide web
And I am the debtor come to collect
With you aired out upon the tallest billboards
You should have known this was coming,
The end of it all,
The sundering
The accounting for you to pay the Pied Piper
And see your deeds counted before the court
Public opinion, even from your statesmen
Children sing their truths
Evidence provides the roots
And the tree of knowledge produces its fruit
With your tire swinging from the highest branch

I warned you this would happen,
I gave you the chance to repent your ways
I handed you means to redefine
But the children sing their truths
And the melodies reach the execution booth
And while you try and catch that train
It’s far too late, the curtain calls
The final cut,

End of line.

Further from then
But long away from today
Everything in circles
As time runs the play.
I’n running out of cycles
Tumbled dry and crumbled
Wishing I had the right words to say.

Well I never thought
In the years I’ve lost
In all I’ve given up,
That I would find a love
That stayed and said I was enough
Even if the world breaks away
I’ll be home, eventually

Well I can’t go back,
The road is brittle and broken
Bury the past, with heart half opened
Dissected to divide
And in my half I can’t decide
Who I was and where I begin
But I’ll be home, eventually

And I wish,
Upon a burning star
One last kiss
Loving you from here to mars
Find my worth
Beyond the skin and scars
I want to be something more
Better off ,
Getting lost in the dreams
I can’t go back, no
I can’t go back

I’ll be home eventually

Without notice cognition starts
As a spark where the black and yellow remark
Aurelian dreams become neon streams
Pink and blue bubblegum retreat
Where memory recedes and recess recalls
The times we repeat, but love is the new,
A big bang like a bullet wound,
Bleed like a volcanic eruption-
The lava of adrenaline rushing through endorphins
Course through a crash of shallow breath
Addicted to the oxytocin landlocked in my serotonin
I could see the sculpture maker creating a savior
In the way, the mold breaks when he made you.

Without warning
She falls from Olympus
Aphrodite, telos of beauty
Epitome of lust and luster
In her extra ****** olive tones
As eyes hone to affix to my jade ocular
I am lost in the vision of her palingenesis
Into every curve my nimble fingers trace
Along the marbled skin of those descendent
It strikes me in breathtaking seizure-induced ecstasy-
******* in the clarity of cosmos in clemency
I worship endlessly without question.

As the stars affix ‘cross the heavens
And all that is dead is depth in enlightenment
Caught in a chrysalis to metamorphosis
What would become of you, if you could be reborn?
We twist in a helix DNA to a sequence
In callbacks for you to reveal its secrets in Morse code
Encrypted all over the bedside, my love transcends the fabric.
And in the genesis of what is
Comes forth like a violent storm
We crash like thunder while the lightning strikes
I am burned by the static, manic, in panic
As I wake without a warning cognition fully forming
As the universe expands you and I in the expanse
Tethered into the ether in ethos, lost inside your mythos
It all begins again.

A farewell,
To the smog clouds,
To the scurrying office ants
Clogging the main streets in their matchbox cars
To the deafening noise
And stench.

Farewell -
To neon-lit spires,
To the smell of cheap food and cheaper beer
To the heartbroken fans of ****-poor teams
To the best of times, and the worst.

Farewell -
To all those loves I loved
And friendships come and go,
To the old haunts that still ache my skin
The ghosts that play back happy memories.

Farewell to the tactile familiarity
To the winding trails, and skyscraper horizons
To sunsets and bottle cap collections,
To the way the sun swayed the day
And we all were so eager to get out and play.

Farewell -
To festivals and carnival rides
To sold-out concerts and all that bass
To the very shape of your borders.

Farewell to home,
To the anchor of what kept me humble
I am releasing myself from your hold
And finding a new path -
Into the great unknown

Farewell.

Countless screenshots, live messaging, emails, chat histories all collected.

Dummy was kind enough to message me repeatedly while they were here.

Walls are closing in on the groomer.

I’m continually being harassed by this person in both PM and on their page.

I’ve been instructed to stay quiet for the most part and let them do their job, so I am obliging. I can’t comment further but to say…

The FBI don’t ******* play

She clings to me,
With her claws dug in my back-
Pouring all my life
Onto pallid fingers

And she remains,
Lost within a daze-
Trembling below the waist
Her wound that never heals
Filled and stretched as she feels
Home within all the pain,
Painted in pleasurable rain
Showering down her frame,
She’s only alive when he reigns

Over her like an overture
As lungs deflate
And the sound matures
To the shrieks of her love
In the moans of her lust
Praising the gods, lost in the cusp
I’m caught up in her voluptuous hills
As my eager hands grab hold within the valleys
Hourglass cosplay in your alabaster silk
We can sing the psalms of my palms
As they crash upon your bountiful flesh
Flush with a blush for all that it gives
You love what you get when you make me sweat
And crave you like a ferocious lion
One more ****** and I’ll take you to Zion.

We twist and we twine into arcane shapes
And it’s written on her face-
The need she chases in desiderium day-dreams
Our scents collide ambrosial perfume
Intermixed with confessions consumed
As we collapse as fluids coalesce
Into a confluence of our love
Inexorable fleeting breaths
In perfect tandem breadth

She clings to me-
With her claws dug in
Exsanguinate me -
And paint me with your pallid fingertips
I want to wear your love.

Have you ever known silence?
Where even the mind stops to listen,
No pollution by intrusions
Nay saying finger-wagging doubts,
Not one person waiting in line at the bullet train
That connects from passive to aggressive
Just the still staggering quiet.

Have you ever known peace?
Where should decompress,
No longer cosplaying atlas
Holding the weight of all that burdens
While taking the cleanest breaths
Deep and revitalizing oxygen satiating the blood,
While the face feels pain from finally-
Letting go of squinted vision, furled brows
And forced smiles.
Where it’s just the calm settling in nerves,
It’s almost too fantastical - surely a myth
But obtainable.

Have you ever known love?
Not the placated give and take,
Not the candy-covered lust under the covers
Not even the giddy resplendence when seeing that movie
Or hearing that tune, I’m talking love.
That heart-crushing,
Would go on a crusade to defend,
Sword-wielding and Fourth of July firework love-making
That daring to dare to dare to be better
That salve to cure wounds once thought fatal
Mortally immortalized in the space of a single kiss
Have you ever known that love?

All of life’s greatest gifts,
We overlook the material,
And it kills us all, it’s rather serial
We can’t spell it out in the cereal
But it’s there if you search beyond,
And break the mold.

Though the darkness remains,
With the echoes of those voices
Bouncing off the walls you’ve constructed
In hopes the ramparts won’t break around your heart
You can feel the soothing salves
As hope spreads it’s arms to embrace
Hoping you’ll accept the gift of its grace.

There may be days,
Where faces and memories
Playback like a slideshow of misery,
But there is strength building like outer muscle
And the inner you beckon to Hulk;
Show out with your perseverance -
March forward into the best years of your life yet to come
Because here, none of those demons can win

There is light enough
In the sanctity of your glow
That unlike a simple candle
Tenebrous fingers cannot ***** it out.

She sits on the throne made of thorns
As a blooming rose catches blood drops
Like falling petals.

Eyes like cold obsidian daggers
Catch me in a trance bewildered
Dancing by the moonlit flora
Awash in diluted reverie,
A court jester to the night queen.

Her bountiful thighs part
And cross as her scent imbues
Madness at the froth of my maw
Spores like fungal infection-
Reduce my inhibition to a ravaging pulse,

This need -
Bores through sensibilities
As even the whispers of trees
Caution of these next moments
A harking plea from a zephyr breeze
But I am enthralled to this carnality
As she coaxes with her diaphanous digits,
I am but a genie to submit to her wishes

There by her side, sat below her
Kissing cold alabaster silky flesh
I could feel her touch, the wintery death of her breath
As fingers reach her wetted velvety lips
I could not feel her playful nips
As appetizers ripened hunger and her grip -
Cuffed ‘round my wrist
Pulling me from her honey *** gift
To meet her gaze, unafraid.

Lost in this trance,
Madness at the froth of my maw
I could not sense the peril,
Nor fear what I loved so earnestly
Without regret or second thought
As her effortless kiss caught my neck
Transcendental dreams reached fever pitch -
As my form began to sink from her effluvium kiss
My reddest wine is what she divined to dine
And the midst of such bliss
I came to fruition in nocturnal emission.

Awash in diluted reverie,
Ephemeral captured moments
Lost like youthful vitality,
As the last sanguine drop dripped dutifully
I was but a rose petal before the throne of my lover’s garden.
My goddess of the night.

Little hands of mine,
Shaky scribbles in Crayola blue
Handwritten letters to god,
Return to sender.

The sky is grey,
Despite the coloring books
Clouds form like ***** cotton,
The rain is not acidic enough…
I am still here.

In my sky colored room
Stucco walls look like ocean waves,
My lungs are tired, but I wish to scream -
Deaf tones upon muted ears,
Write another letter to god -
This time in barn red,
Maybe he likes this instead.

Return to sender.

Tears burn like pepper spray
When they are conjured from rage
And anger grits through, chipping teeth
As the extension cord to the Nintendo
Knows there will be no game playing.

Wrap it once, apologize,
Wrap it twice, demonize
Wrap it thrice, whisper goodbye

CHOKE

A cosmic joke,
The cord broke,
Gasping, ******* in the air
Disdained at my selfishness
It could have been better…
It would have been better.

Little hands of mine,
Can no longer find strength
To hold the canary yellow
The words fail, like all fallen angels
No longer return to sender.

Prayers are never answered.

Dreamt of you.
Seemed like yesterday,
There was a splash of color
Some laughter and the glint of blue
Of those sapphire orbs peering through.

The wind caught your hair,
It danced like tendrils reaching
Tickling my face.

Confusion causes caution.
La-dum-dum-La dum-la-dum
The heart raced-
Like Kenyan sprinters.
My legs tried to keep pace.
In love with the chase.

Your skin was creamy alabaster
Soft like the finest silks,
Our lips touched,
And then autumn came.

You flew as oak and maple leaves
My lips kissed ash and soot.
The color drained
The dead of silent pause.

I dreamt a memory
And woke in a nightmare
Why do I miss you?

The lights blur bokeh,
As gasps fill the gaps
Of moans that crescendo in vibrato
There’s death caught in her throat
As breaths play cops and robbers,
And she’s eager to catch.

Her head falls back,
Thoughts fall back
Further in the recess
Gone into the excess
As ecstasy burns each synapse
She’s feral like a neanderthal
Needing to feel it more.

Hips sway like a slithering snake
As she meets his gaze and quickened pace
His ******* need to plant his garden
In her exquisite honeydew-scented Eden
A piston of man pillar of Adam breaks the atoms
Nuclear in their collision,
Fission, in their friction,
No additives, pure addiction.

She screams through the gates of heaven,
A banshee calling as the lion roars,
Mighty hammer of Thor,
Crashing through her core like lightning
As her pulsations demanded more,.
Prideful steed empties his streams
As white rivers pour out of a beaten cavern
Nectar of life out of a pretty tulip,

They lay in the decadence,
Scented in their collective musk
A cologne that plays the notes of this orchestra,
As all settles to a simple calm after the storm.

She’s hot,
Like a Carolina reaper
I’m perspiring through every pore,
Heaving heavy breaths,
Seething every inhale
And crying uncontrollably,
Convulsing and flailing arms
Windmill punching air like a mosh pit
Because looking at her has me
Audibly in several languages

“*******”
                “Santo cielo”
                                    “Santa Merda”
                                                            

She Is eloquent
Dignified in refined swagger,
Carrying herself with pride,
Demeanor that demands neither cat call
Or advance of the meager
She’s far to cunning,
An impatient cat that can’t
Withstand clawing for the best
And treating the rest like discarded litter.

Magnetic and magnanimous
I am caught like a fly in a silken web
Come devour me sweet succubus
I want to know how your curves
Ripple like waves when we crash
Body to body and pleasure washes over
Like an avalanche
Drain me and leave me to my happenstance
Or do a happy dance to repeat our waltz
Within Egyptian cotton sheets
And worship me like a Pharaoh,
Kiss my staff and feel its mass
Collapse against wetted lips,
And into abused bruised flush hips.

She is devilish,
Like cartoon parodies of Lucifer
But with *******,
A temptress in a red dress
Or was it black?
I am blind with hunger
An animal left unchecked
And I’ll devour until there is nothing left
But base notes of *** with higher tones of sweat
Wear her like an element

It’s evident
I’m in love.
And I can’t quite tell if it was hell or heaven sent

I want to touch you where you’ve never been
Somewhere deep in the core of you,
Cultivate to the very root
See how you bloom and grow for me
Out stretch your misery,
We could watch the stars from under canopies
And I’ll know you’ll be wishing upon those falling stars
That there’s a chance I’ll be here forever.

I want to kiss you so your ancestors feel my love
I want paradigms of your kin to know a paradise
When I look deep in your eyes.
I want to hold you like a sun ray kissing skin
So you can feel my warmth dig deeper in
There’s a chance I’ll be here forever.

We can press our flesh together
Mix caramel and vanilla
I want to taste you forever
We can tangle endlessly
But I won’t surrender
Until the parapets you build topple over
And you can feel my love break your dams
And watch the tides carry us under.

I want the molecules of you to feel the atoms of me
Dancing tumultuously
Until we explode like nuclear bombs
Kinetic force of my palms
Crashing down upon your round ivory flesh
As both of our faces go flush
Volcanic rush of this lust
And we’ll both be here forever.

Chemical compounds
That birthed you like an elixir
I’ll be your Romeo and drink you like poison
And you can take my last breath
Feel my soul as it passes past depths
Of every chemical compound
That makes you fluid in my grasp,
And if you ingest me, you best be ready to protect me
Because I’ll be here forever.

Horus counting hours
As Hermes runs the clock
Jupiter reigning lighting
To shock Morrigan’s ravens
Carrion for Fenrir,
Leaving nothing but bones to pick
Sharpen into tools,
Useful if not forgotten
As the meat spoils,
Rotting by the sycamore.

Into the earth,
Gaia’s nurturing cradle,
Growing me from a seedling
And I return, reborn like perennial
A blossom for Renenutet,
Trained by the grace of Athena,
While blessed by the light of Apollo
Enlightened in the school halls of Ecne,
I am a hammer in Thor’s grasp
To crash upon the enemies of imagination,

Anubis wags his tail and weighs-
The merit of my Indigo soul,
As Hades welcomes me in open arms,
Home here in the underworld,
As Scotus mocks my determination
To be one of the darkest lords,
A Donn of a new age, where the old ones were forgotten
A stud among the Valkyrie

All of their knowledge spilled into me,
From the words of Homer
To the unrelenting philosophies of socrates
I forever burn with the fire of Prometheus
And the determination of Heracles,
I can never waiver,
For I am one with the universe
Solvent of gods and the lost languages,
The soul of a star, brilliant like diamond

Everlasting

From birth until now
How I’ve loved you,
Wonder of my soul-
The light that shines home
A universe I would build for you
As time marches on,
My days grow shorter
And vision begins to blur
Unable to see the greater beyond

But should you go before me
Know that I’ll be right behind you
It will be okay, my sweetest princess
(I don’t want you to go)

I’ve had my fill,
Saw the heights of the hills
watching stars shoot across
As I wished upon them all
And you came to be,
Miraculous and free
I knew heaven was real

So don’t waste a moment,
Looking back at what could have been
When your future is bright
And our time is running out
I’m up and over all my best days
But if I could do it over I’d replay
The very moment you were conceived
Was the very moment I came to be
I just want to make you proud
Before I go.

But should you go before me,
I’ll be right behind you
Slay any demon calling,
Until we reach singularity
Know on my death bed, darling
I don’t want you to go…

Years carry weight,
I’m drowning in sorrows of regret
And hoping the tide won’t take you
But I know, as you grow, you’ll fly the nest
Find your own in and out of our orbit
I’ll wish upon the stars that take you-
To your destined path
I hope that you’ll remember me

But should you go before me
I’ll be right beside you,
Conquer any evil, but my dear
I don’t want you to go…

My love,
Far into the distance
I can feel your vestigial fingertips
Reach through the depths of death
To cling like ice cold rime around my beating heart.

I cannot follow,
Though your wailing whispers
Cause mortiferous winds to kiss upon my ear.
I howl like a feral wolf to a full moon’s bane
And the sky replies in lachrymose showers
Where the streets reflect melancholy
In monochromatic bleak black
I yearn for you.

I’ve wrestled with life,
It’s internal crenellated wars
Running to clamber over the ramparts
To find your sepulchral chamber.

My love, may I -
Lay my weary head upon your putrescent chest
And finally, find my final rest
As in life, I am but moribund,
Lost within my lugubrious gaze
Into ethereal labyrinths chasing your frame.

The day you said goodbye
It was an imprecation,
Damning me to walk half alive,
Preternatural lusting for death
Like Victorian goths -
I am lost without your jubilance,
And too scared of the morrow
If I dare turn the page.

Let me join you dear,
I wish not another moment
Among those who knew not
The grip of truest love,
Lay shattered like obsidian shards
Pieces of my broken heart
I can bear no more of it!

This path is imperfect
Cracks along the pavement,
There are downed trees -
Whose roots reach and cry for life
Graceful strides still give way
As obstacles startle into a free fall
And fall I have, but I’ve risen
Too many times to count,
Excised upon the scars seen and hidden,
But scars remind us that healing conquers wounds
And I’ll never be vanquished by lesser demons.

The path is arduous, long.
Each step forward is a gladiator march
Gauntlet of all the world can throw
In an arena meant for one,
Strength often fails the stalwart
I’ve fallen to a knee more than once,
Parched from a dehydrated atmosphere,
Suffocated from toxic energy,
Left in a heap of lost lives,
But I always keep an extra to play this game.

The path is never-ending
A winding labyrinth,
A garden maze in midsummer bloom
While Autumnal air carries death in potpourri depth
The fork coalesces here at the confluence
A Liminal divide, a decision prescribed
Will I tow the line, onward into the familiar
Or step into the unknown, where the fog betrays space
An endless haze in the great dark expanse -
A shallow sigh, and a reprise of the role
Soldier on, into the great unknown
Tomorrow the path will bend to me.

Be careful when handling,
Built strong but I’m fragile
These days show how easy
A dam can break as the tears fall freely.

Lost in the “I should have”
And regretting the “I could of”
If all that I am is a collection of my actions,
Then let me play the role,
Explode on contact, this short fuse is blown.

Corner my confidence,
Please put me in my dunce cap
Because I’ve been fooling myself,
Thinking I was so impervious
Introverted dismissiveness
Led to severed ties and downed bridges
But I’d fall into this cab just to
Come back home, one last time.

Whatever may come
I’ve resigned myself to-
Walking through the doorway
Waiving my goodbyes,
It’s time I left you behind.

The me I was
When the hurt was too much,
Never growing up -
I split myself in half
To hope you can carry yours
As I can no longer look back.
Built strong, I was fragile
It was so easy to break the dam
When the tears fell easy,
And even the petrichor loses scent
As I take this bus into the unknown
Maybe I can give us a fitting end.

Desperate little debutant
Dressed in his Sundays best
Hoping To impress
Gotta get off his chest

Oh no what a mess
Another bottle down
Liver shot to death
Yellow sight like his spine
Fear grips in his neck.

What would the sane man say
If the insane was publicized in his domain?
What would the recluse say
When ***** deeds are shown any way?

Run further away
But the truth catches up,
And the noose tightens like knots in your throat
Stalker thought he was predator
Turn around and pray,
In praise try to find absolution in his name
But grace, alludes the lewd cruelity of this creature

Can’t rely on you to play the game
Or abide by the rules,
Confined in four walls spinning tales
Roll the dice always landing on boardwalk
And I own the blue.

The only sucker in the mirror looking back
Is this kangaroo jack, yeah this is you.
Desperate little debutant ,
The walls closing in a world that will never remember you.

Hypnotic,
Dizzied in frenetic sway
She commands gaze
With black licorice lips
Hourglass hips,
And the bluest sapphires
Darting through rust-colored tresses
She’s a Victorian *****
Obsessed with scented depth
A lover paler than death,
Clutching like raptor talons piercing my heart
I give freely to dance to the beat of
Zephyr winds howling and my organic drum.

Lust creeps like a sneaking thief,
Undone by a mischievous Cheshire grin
Fingertips upon me, tracing little circles
Tickling the silky flesh of my lips
I want her in the worst ways,
Blood flooding the gates,
Erecting the bridge I wished to cross her streams
And drown myself face-first in her eaves
I find myself paralyzed in time
In hopes she would unbind,
She simply turns the light off
Whispering into the night

“You are mine”