it hurt.
the kind of “what if” hurt.
what if it was me?
what if you got lost in my eyes
in the middle of night instead
of hers?
what if I never let you go?
she wasn’t there when
those cigarette burns
were fresh but I was.
she didn’t know,
but I did.
it should have been me.
it should have just
******* been me.

Go ahead
hold me a little longer
than usual.
You say to me,
without using any
words at all,
"it should have been me,
its still me."
Like i don't already see
those sky blue eyes
every time i close my own.
Because we're still holding
on to god knows what.
Because it is you
and it will always be you.