i called from my bed
seated at the edge between the darkness of blue
and the shades of yellow too
shining down on me so deliberately
vying for the attention of the absent girl
i called for my lover
rooted in the letters that spell his name
i felt the fragile ache in my heart
he was gone and i was alone
it was not a particularly new feeling
just one that i could never rid myself of
i called on the phone
waiting for a ‘hello?’
getting only in return
the swift motion of a dial tone
BEEP BEEP BEEP
never had i felt so disconnected from someone
in a world filled with so much technology
i called from my throat
waiting for the words to escape into the thin air and
find him with their power
twisting and winding all around him
to let me know that his heart was as vulnerable as mine
but i only received the cowardice of my own muteness
not a single sound willing to escape
not a single tear willing to fall
i called lastly from my heart
loud and projected around
the great unknown and vast undiscovered
the call swam through oceans
and climbed through forests
glided on ice
until, it fell to its knees
the reason i could not find him
was because his heart belonged to someone new
no way of contacting someone
when they were only .once. true
- the five steps of grief