Why am I always lost inside my head?
I try so hard but I always feel like I’m better off dead.
Why can’t the masquerade just give it a rest?
It seems to be more calm but I’m dreading what could happen next.
All I really ever feel is melancholy or despair.
And I can’t get it out of my head that no one cares.
So why can’t I find it in me to breathe some fresher air?
I guess I always knew I’d be distraught cause the fight was always unfair.

I wish I were made of stone
So your words would never hurt me
I wish I were cold as ice
Then maybe I wouldn't be lonely

I wish I were made of steel
So my strength would never waver
If only I could turn back the clock
To a time when I felt safer

But I'm only flesh and bone
And your words have left me bleeding
My heart is torn apart
It's a wonder it's still beating

You made up your mind
Given me your final answer
What we shared is in the past
Time to write a brand new chapter

I will fix my broken heart
Some how piece it back together
It may never be the same
It'll bare this scar forever

But I'll be strong, I'll be alright
Though I'm not as hard as steel
And I can't turn back the clock
In time....my heart will heal

it's been a while,
stringing words to unravel the mind.

picking up the pen again,
the familiar feeling of secrets shared,

like exhaling after holding your breath
for a couple seconds too long,

i missed you, old friend.

Flayed and tattered,
Torn and shattered,
Bruised and battered,
Never mattered.

Self-invocation,
Self-immolation,
Self-molestation
No consolation.

Bridges burned,
Lovers spurned,
Disgrace earned,
Nothing learned.

Heart conflicted,
Soul afflicted,
Self-inflicted,
Contradicted.

Hard discipline,
But genuine,
The only sin
Is giving in.