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60 · 12h
One Day
Ruby 12h
I know that one day I will be okay,
and the pain will go away,
and I will be glad that I stayed.

But today is not that day.

Today, I know that I should be happy to be alive—
because after all, I have a good life—
but I can’t be happy,
because I am damaged.

Like a bird with a broken wing,
I am unable to fly.
Scared I’m going to die,
but more scared that I survived,
and now I have to be alive.

I have to live with the voice inside my head
that wants me dead,
that never wants me to get out of bed.

I have to live with the past
I worked so hard to forget—
and yet,
I still remember.

Deep down,
all that has happened,
all I have seen—
and I drown
in the past I try so hard to push down.

I look for a way out,
but there is none.
I scream and I run,
but I can’t outrun the past.

I can’t forget the things that broke me,
or the little girl I used to be,
before my innocence
was stolen from me.

Right now,
I am damaged goods,
a bird with a broken wing.

And maybe I will always be a little broken.

But I know—
one day I will be okay,
and I won’t feel this way.

But not today.

Today, I am not okay.
So I take it
one day at a time,
one minute,
one second,
one step—

because one day,
I will be okay.
47 · May 28
True Beauty
Ruby May 28
I’m not ugly,
but I’m not the kind of beautiful
that I see every day
on other women’s faces.

Although I am smart,
and I am kind,
and trust me—
I am really trying to be
the things this world expects
of a teenage girl—

It doesn’t matter.
Because all people see
is beauty and fame.

How am I supposed to love myself
in a world so vain?

If we’re going off of looks,
I am not ugly,
but I am plain.

I am pretty enough
for people to come,
but not enough
for them to stay.

Ask me what I don’t like about myself,
and I’ll pick myself apart—
every little detail I can’t stand—
and I will tell you
everything that is wrong with me.

All the flaws
that only I see
drown out
all of the beautiful, unique things about me
that I just can’t seem to see.

I am more than my face
or how much I weigh.
I am a person,
and I just have to say:

I am smart.
I am kind.
I am loving,
and caring,
and I have a good heart.

True beauty
is more than your face
or how much you weigh.

Because what is beauty
if you are not loving,
and you are not kind?

This world is so vain,
yet completely blind.

If only the world could see
that true beauty
comes from the inside.
31 · May 8
Shapeshifter
Ruby May 8
I am a shapeshifter of sorts.
I can be whoever you want me to be.

I can be lovely and kind,
or I can be honest and raw.

Trust me—
I can be anything at all.

Just tell me who you want me to be,
and I will be her.

I can be the person you need most,
or your biggest fan.
I can tell you
you don’t need a man,
or a five-year plan.

I can tell you what you need to hear
and be who you want me to be.

But the problem is—
I am no longer me.

I don’t even know who me is anymore.

She is hiding
somewhere in all of these personalities
I have created—

waiting to be shared,
waiting to be loved,
waiting to be enough
for someone,
someday—

waiting to be okay

— The End —