My best friend
Has gone away
Never again will I see her face
She will live on
But in different ways
How many times will I cry
Or try to hold in pain
For she has gone on
She has gone away

They are hard to find...So when you do find them don't let go....

Before I was born
You were assigned to me
You were probably told to guide and direct me
Through this incredible journey called life  
I'm sorry if this world becomes too much
And my thoughts start to consume me
I hope you know that it's not your fault  
You make me hold on another day
Right now I'm relying on you
I need you to give me strength
I need you to remind me that I have a purpose
Because right now I am struggling
Please don't forget about me

I've learned to loose
I've learned pain
But I've also learned that I still have some
I still have some who love me
I still have a few who've stayed

I've reached the end
I'm done

Take me there
to my home
Down that old gravel road
Where the trees line the path
And the cows mow the grass
oh bring me back
to the place I use to live
To the home that made me, me
Take me down the gravel roads
And let me feel the breeze
let me hear the buzzing of the bees
let me go back home
please, please, please

Rest my dear
fall into a slumber
mama's near
don't worry 'bout the thunder
I'll dry those tears
so rest my dear
I'll be right here
scaring all those monsters

I've messed up my metabolism
Because I compared myself to other people
I didn't eat for three months
I lost hair, I lost weight, so I gained an eating disorder
I tried to hide it from other people, especially my parents
Every morning I would dry heave until I threw up or until I couldn't breath anymore
Normally It would last for 15 minutes or more
I was passing out, and I was emotionally unstable
I weighed myself 3 times everyday
I was only 150 pounds
For me that was too much
I wasn't skinny like the other girls
It's been two years since I stopped eating
I'm still facing the consequences of that
I have to be on antacid pills
I can't eat a lot in one setting
I have to be on better eating schedules
Because now my body doesn't tell me if I'm hungry or not anymore
I have to accept who I am now
I have no other choice
Because I still have an eating disorder.

I'm not saying sorry
For something you did
I wont ever take the blame of you again
You broke me one to many times
Left my heart in pieces
I hate you and I hate her
I hate your Mom and your whole family

I sound petty
But that is nothing compared to what you did

Never again will I get to see her face or hear her laugh.
Never again will I be able to sit by her and tell jokes just to make us laugh
She's gone
I miss her with everything inside of me
I didn't have enough time with her
She was my whole world
What do you do when your whole world crashes
Who do you call now
How do you live
Everything just feels like It's crumbling
Without her here I'm falling a part
I need her back
But there is no way to make the possible

I saw the sun rising
I also saw the sun set

Like every good day
It has to end

Remember all the things we said we'd do
Well now I will have to do it without you
That's okay though
I have accepted that
You're happy now up in heaven
I will continue to fulfill all the things that we said we were gonna do
Just to say we made it

I must not be okay
Because I saw you today
You were smiling so much
From ear to ear
I must be dreaming
because you're not actually alive
Your still gone

With him I get a choice
He never expects anything out of me
Instead he helps me
He listens to me when I have something to say
And if one day we don't speak
He makes sure that the next day we do
I never have to feel like I am less than him
I never feel like I have to be something I'm not
Instead I can snort when I laugh
And instead of him making fun of me
He laughs too
I can be myself knowing I am free of Judgement
I have been blessed with a friend who cares
I have a friend to listens

I only wish to be as good to him as he is to me

Your free little bird
Fly away
go far from here
why must you stay
for it's cold and drear
your cage has been opened
yet you wish to never leave

I feel the same way

Is it possible to hate your own birthday
Because you know that on that day
You'll be older than she ever was

Our candle burnt out
the flame is gone
Never once did we shout
But I let this pain go on
Our love was full of doubt
It left us hurt and drawn
I never should've said yes
Then I wouldn't've become a pawn
I never should've entered this mess
Our love deserved to be gone

Sometimes it's easier to cry
Then to tell you how I feel

Sometimes it's easier to lie
than to tell the truth

sometimes it's hard to smile
When all I want to do is sob

I realize that "sometimes"
is all the time

Eventually everybody will know the name of Jesus
Either it be now or the day that he returns to take his people home
All will bow before the king.

If you ever should have to choose
choose what makes you happy

If ever you should have to leave
Leave with a purpose

If ever you should have to try
Do your best

If ever you should cry
Don't let anybody hear

If ever you're sad
Pray

I always have thoughts that come into my head
They tell me how I feel
I quickly grab my paper and pen
And I soon as I go to write it down
I lost the thought

I'm terrified that one day I'll make a stupid choice
A choice that will change everything
I'm scared to the point I'm shaking
I feel trapped
I feel empty
I feel so much that I need to let go
Please help me
I'm begging you

I'm sorry that I'm always saying sorry
I feel like I need to apologize every time I've done something wrong
Even in times where I know I haven't done anything wrong
I still feel obligated to say sorry
So forgive me please

I hope you know I have been looking for you my whole life
I have been waiting for you to arrive
To come into my life and be my hero
And to love me as I am
I've been in love before
but our love will be everlasting
It will be better than I could ever imagine

After years of emptiness and pain
I gained wisdom, but I also grew insane
I found myself more lost than I've ever been
So I added battle scars to my skin
It numbed the emotions in my soul
Yet even that started taking a toll
Now I look into the mirror
Wishing I could see life clearer
Knowing that I'm unable
Maybe I should put that knife back on the table
Maybe I should
If I could you know I would

You don't know how long you have left with the people you love
So while you have that breath in your lungs
And a beat in your chest
Hold onto what ever you have
Cause you never know how fast it can be taken away

The stars all have gone dim
And the streets all have filled
The lights Darkened with the night
As People gathered ‘round
To find the last alive
Whoever last was standing
Would be the one to hide
The rest were never to be seen again
During the darkest night

I despise everything that you have turned into
In the time we have been a part
You have changed
Your priorities have changed
Everything that made me fall in love with you
Has faded, It's gone now
The only thing that's left of what once was is the memories
But even that is not enough for me
To know that now all I have left for you is hate
I don't even think I can say I love you
Or that I was proud to say that once upon a time I did love you
In fact I am embarrassed to say that I used to call you mine
I know that people say that when you love somebody you want the best for them
I wanted the best for you, but now I want you to hurt the way I did
I want you to feel every emotion I felt
Especially when you were playing with my emotions
Because one day you wanted me the next I was nothing to you
I want you to feel the burn of all of it
I want you to cry until your lungs feel like they are going to cave in like I did
Because you Made me hurt, you made me feel useless
You made me hate you
Maybe your Mom had something to do with it too
when she told me I wasn't ever going to be enough for you
And I was the problem in your life
I cannot even look at you because of how much you hurt me
The fact that you even moved on so soon
Was I not anything to you?
Did I mean anything?
We were together for almost two years and as soon as we broke up
You moved on
You had a whole line of people waiting for you
And as soon as you could you went for the next person who showed you attention.
How pathetic

Here I am
Shattered and broken
But ready to be repaired...

There was not enough time
For me to say
I loved you so much
In every way
Your kindness your love
Your honesty and grace
Will live on through me every day

You have a choice
to stay or leave
Don't feel obligated to love me
You have a choice
I don't want you to feel like you have to stay
You are allowed to leave
I promise

Though you are gone
You're still my best friend
Happy birthday
It would've been your 16th
But you'll always be 15
I miss you
I'm going to go to your grave today
I have to much to tell you.

I loved you
I truly did, but our love didn't last
There was lack of communication
There were conversations never had
There were things we hid from the light
And to be honest I wouldn't go back

I can't go back
I wouldn't
I don't think I could if I even wanted to

You said you loved me
Such a lie
How blind I could be
Did your love die
Oh was it fake, oh now I see
I guess it's fine cause now I'm free
Free to love who I please

They all lost their lives
As they finally went down under
The ship has gone missing
Yet the weather was just fine
Everybody hoped to make it
But the ships were on thin ice
Nobody would’ve known
That laid beneath the water
Soon would be their boat
The ripples soon would fade
The screams would slowly die
But decades later
People would eventually find
A sunken boat beneath the water
With no one left alive

Please just let me go
Let me just be free
Free from all your lies
And from you’re captivity

Don’t keep me here
Drowning in my tears
Let me walk away
From all this hurt and all this pain
  
Let me see the light
That I thought wasn’t there
Surrender me
Before I surely disappear

Yesterday I went to your grave
I put flowers down
I hope that you like them
I tried to sing you happy birthday
But I couldn't stop crying
I miss you
I always wonder what you are doing right now
I hope you're happy

After we left your resting place
We went and saw your grandma
She was sitting on the front porch
We talked for a while

I hope that you celebrated your birthday up in heaven.

I'm done trying to be kind to you, when you make me so angry

Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
Somebody to want me
Until we grow old
Somebody to care
Somebody to stay
Someone who will love me
I want that somebody

If you cannot respect me
Why should I respect you?

The weather outside is scorching hot
So the water feels amazing
The grass has gotten greener
The wind blows cool air
The summer's heat is still way to hot though

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM
I WANT TO YELL UNTIL IT SHATTERS GLASS
I WANT TO BREAK SOMETHING
I WANT TO SCREAMS SO LOUD THAT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD CAN HEAR IT
I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW ANGRY I AM
I WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY UNTIL MY THROAT IS RAW
I WANT TO SO BAD
but i can't

Do you ever find yourself crying and sad for no reason?

She rises with wet hair as she turns around. The night sky full of bright stars is nothing compared to her beauty. The light in her eyes is all he notices, he can't look away. He needs her, and he needs her soon. She doesn't even try to wipe away the water dripping from her face. He slowly strides through the water right over to her. He places his hand on his lower back and he leans in. He whispers "I love you." As soon as she says it back the memory fades.
He opens his eyes and realizes he's back in his nursing home, without her.

I saw you cry
I heard you weep
I smelled the rain
I touched the mud
I tasted the salt

I've lost so much
I've lost my Biological family to drugs
I've lost my best friend to suicide
I've lost myself
I've lost hope
I've lost everything that matters

Where's God now?
Now that my world is crumbling
And my hands are shaking

I keep thinking that I can make it
That I can be the first on in my Biological family to go to college
That I can do this...but what if I'm wrong?

What if I haven't proved them wrong
But I've showed them how much they were right?

I am nothing... I never will be

I was so fragile and young
You never really cared though
I was nothing but a child
And you made me hate my existence
How Could You?
You never saw all of those nights
I cried myself to sleep covering my mouth
To make sure no sound got out
Or the times I hid in the closet so you couldn't find me
Yet you hunted me down
You thirsted on my pain
You found pleasure in my cries
How could you?
You made me feel like I was nothing
Here I am years later
Still battling depression  
Caused by you.