I’m making a change.
I’m taking it back
my power,
my soul
it’s back with a bang.

You took it away,
a long time ago.
But I’m stronger now
you don’t know me at all.

I use the pain
to carry me forward.
I won’t fast forward through it
I’ll feel it,
face it,
and use it.

Use it to grow.
Use it to help.
Use it to ease someone else’s hell.

There are no evil agendas
here on my plate
only strength
served straight.

I’m Okay

What do I say when you ask if I’m okay?
I smile and nod—
“I’m doing alright.”
But truthfully,
I could break any second.
Like a mirror in hand,
I shatter and crack.

So I pretend I’m fine.
I hide the pain,
the hurt,
the tears.
I don’t let anyone in—
not anymore.

The last time I did,
I broke in two.
Do you really want to add
to my sad repertoire?

I hide my pain.
I hide my tears.
But all I’m really hiding…
is fear.

Why Did You

Why did you take advantage of me,
Why did you do it when I was so young?
Why did you grin with those smug, rotting gums
like it was a joke,
like it meant nothing?

Why did you think it was okay,
knowing I was your daughter?
That kind of evil doesn’t burn away.

You knew.
You said sorry.
But sorry can’t stitch up a soul.
Sorry doesn’t make me whole.
Sorry doesn’t make me jolly.

You ruined that day
and rewrote my life.

Coward.
Disgusting.
A thing I despise.

He was in charge.
She was a girl.
He knew what he did.
She felt confused.

For a time, she would sit on his lap.
He taught her to braid.
She laughed at his jokes.

But the father would change
from innocent love
to torturous gain.
Will I ever leave this terrible pain?

He was a father.
She was a daughter.
The power imbalance
would soon be forgotten.

She knew it was wrong.
He didn’t care.
All he said was,
“I’m lonely, that’s all.”

She felt betrayed
by the fatherly figure
who turned out to be
just a monstrous image.

The fatherly man
was a father no more.
She knew he wasn’t to trust
he lost it all
in a moment of touch.

The man she once called father
was nothing like that.
No, not at all.
Just a monster
with no care at all.

I thought it was normal…

This doesn’t happen
to girls like me—
no, only the girls
on the big TV screen.

This doesn’t happen
to girls who like dolls
no, only to fictional
characters I see on the screen

This doesn’t happen
to girls who dress up
just the girls
who live in a fantasy book.

This doesn’t happen
to girls like me.

Turns out I was wrong.
She’s exactly like me.

It happened to her
not in a book,
not on a screen
but alone,
in her world.

It happened to her.
It happened to her.
She’s exactly like me…

Oh wait
she is me.

It changed it all…

I watched the big movie star
up on the screen.
That evening was happy,
happy was me.

But happy was gone
as darkness drew near.
It wasn’t me…
was it?
Really?
It was.

I thought I was watching
a nightmare unfold
but reality,
it was really quite bold.

In that instant,
that girl was gone.
The innocence,
the love
she was definitely gone.

A shell was left
in the place where she sat,
just watching the star
up on the screen.

I can’t say for certain
what happened that day…
but all I know
is the girl who was happy
she was happy no more.

Don’t touch me.
I’m not yours anymore.

I wanted to hate you.
I wanted to go—
but your grip was strong.
You had power.
You had it all.

I was so weak.
Powerless too.
You had everything.
And I was yours—
all alone.

I cried.
And cried.
Until I forgot.
Or tried to.

But then… I remembered.
And I really tried hard
to face what made me feel
so mad.

Then it hit me—
clear and loud:
I was never yours.
Not even a bit.