Laugh loudly, walk proudly,                                                         ­                           
                                                                                                              
     dance around till you fall down,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
smile until it hurts your face,                                                            ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                                   move your body, don't stay in one place,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
sing even if you know you're bad,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
tell dumb jokes & be stupid glad,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
drink wine, get buzzed,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                 
give a total stranger a hug,                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                        
      wear something you never would                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
act a fool, you know you should,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
this is my recipe for fun,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
go ahead & get yourself some

He hides from life, he runs away,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                   
 can't handle the strife of his everyday                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
       If he doesn't see it, it did not happen,
                                                         ­                                                     
feelings reserved, he's living on   rations                                                          ­                                                                 ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Can't take the pressure, can't push
himself,                                              
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
out of his safe zone and into our hell                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                     
So easy to pull the covers over your head,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I would rather live in the light
instead                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                
One day he will realize, he's all
alone                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
within the walls of his safety zone

One, Two, three breathe,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­    
calmness washes over
me                                                               ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                  
Allow me to close my eyes,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
let the world pass on by                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
Permit my mind drift away,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
shift my focus to better days                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
Open up my wings and fly,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                          
  a free and graceful
  butterfly                                                     ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
Feel the mist in the clouds,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                             
 erase any and all doubts                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
Face up into the hot sun,                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­        
looking down on everyone                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                                 
 The brightness is blinding
me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
but it's what I needed to
see                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                              
Ex­actly how I want to feel                                                             ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
so that I can begin to heal                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Let it lead where it
leads,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                           
Calmn­ess washes over me

Even though the love is gone                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I am still holding on                                                               ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
  I am too scared to let go                                                               ­                                                   
I don't want to be alone                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I am protecting my heart                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                     
It bears so many scars                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I need some time to heal                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I'm still afraid to feel                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't go back to us                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­    
You're someone I can't trust                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't forge on ahead                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
with a heart that is dead                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I can't keep up this pace                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
I just need a safe place                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to catch my breath                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to give my heart a rest

As the sand falls through the
hourglass,                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
our lives go ticking by so
fast                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
Each grain is so
intricate,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                    
each one its own so
delicate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                    
Like children they are separate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
but also need to compensate                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                  
We need to love our daughters & sons                                                             ­                                                             
                                                                ­                                          
treasure the grains in every last one                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                          
Someone once said to me,                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
children are gems we are borrowing,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­          
until God decides he needs them more than
me                                                    
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
they will continue be my treasure, sparkling

You are standing in your ego,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                          
  I am standing with the truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
so round & round we both go,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
till we are both lost & confused

He tried his best to get past
it,                                                              ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
He exhausted himself trying to go around
it,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
  but he had to go through it to get it right                                                            ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  I couldn't act for him and stood by
helplessly                                                    ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                         
watching him struggle through the
emotions                                              
          ­                                                                 ­                                 
          knowing he wouldn't grow by just going through the motions

I saw the light in your eyes go out as I leave,                                        
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
heard you struggle for breath 'cause the air went with me                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                               
I have to admit I was more than pleased,                                                         ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
for the past hundred years you did it to me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                     
I wanted to look back & see if you were crying                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
and it took all my strength to stop me from trying                                      
                                                                ­                                                          
  I wanted to watch your heartache firsthand                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                  
  but then I'd be like you & I'm better than that                                        
                    ­                                                                 ­                               
  I'd have to be satisfied leaving you sitting there                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
   knowing that I hate you & now life is fair

You are a brick tied to my neck                                                                    ­                                        
Concrete blocks on my feet                                                                     ­                                          
I have given you my best,                                                            ­                                              
  but this isn't meant to be                                                                      ­                                            
 I held you up until I was tired                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
Wiped tears as they fell down      
                                                                ­                                                       
Your insecurities start to fire                                                                     ­                                    
Smothering me, I am bound                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
You have called me a liar, a cheat                                                                    ­                                                      
  and as soon as I start to react                                                                       ­                                               
 You are either crying on your knees                                                                       ­                                                  
 or rising up for another attack                                                                   ­                                                
You are ******* the life out of me           
                                                                ­                                                        
Not happy unless I am suffering,                                                       ­                                                                 
I just want to break free                                                                      ­                                     
  Take your chains off of me

I feel like I am shattered glass                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­   
Splintered, broken, still intact                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                               
Held together with resilience                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­     Straight forward no nonsense                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
You tell me I am too serious                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
you don't understand any of this                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
If you walked a mile in my shoes                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
then you would be somebody who                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                            
trusted in people & was hurt in return                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
was fed to the fire, charred & burned                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                    
 who put their faith into backstabbing *******                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
held together with a thousand stitches                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                             
walking wounded casualties of war                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
what are you judging me for?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
I am a survivor despite my pain                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  who's learned to never trust again                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
  Don't look at me as injured & flawed                                        
                                                                ­                                            
  despite the odds, I have stood tall

Those pent-up resentments                                                      ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
quickly turn into hate,                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
soon all your comments                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
become heated debates                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                 
A once loving glance                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
has turned into a glare                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­       
Sometimes love can't be
repaired                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
Thick tension can be cut by a
knife                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
as we blame each other for our
lives                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                     
  The words I hate you, hang in the
  air,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  killing the love that was once
  there                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
We sleep with our backs turned at night,                                                        
                                                                 ­                                                 
get up before the other to avoid a
fight                                                        
                                                                ­                                  
Everything's wrong, nothing's
right                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                              
praying God will show us the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                 
 The distance between us grows on &
on                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
we turn down the stereo playing our song                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Your wedding ring lies on the nightstand,                                                      ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 and mine is no longer there on my
  hand                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                            
You're eating fast food all by
yourself.                                                        ­    
                                                                ­                                                   
  you know they're talking to someone
   else                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                    
There are times life is just not
fair,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
and sometimes love can't be repaired

I'm trying hard to not react,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
to get all of my power back                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Calling on an inner peace                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
to set me free & give me relief                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
As I breathe in and then exhale,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
my cooler head soon prevails                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                            
 Confident that I can
succeed,                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 
 that I have all that I need                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
So, the tables are
turning                                                          ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
and I find myself learning                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
That if I take it day by
day,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
I might end up being okay

On the day that my Daddy died                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I went home for my last goodbye                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Took my last walk around that place                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
Held his jacket up to my face                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                             
breathed in my last scent of him                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                              
thought about how I'd miss him                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
paid my last respects at his grave                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                              
thanked him for all the love he gave                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Then I cursed my stubborn pride                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
  because I wasn't there by his side                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
we had drifted apart with time                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
but he was always on my mind                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
I was stubborn, I was proud,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
didn't say I was sorry out loud                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                
That was the pain I'd always have,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
after all, I still loved my dad                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
  I felt guilty for many years to come                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  didn't want to face it, I'd rather run                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
But in the end, it catches up to you                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
and when it does, it still rings true                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
I had to choose to forgive myself                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
or live a life writhing in hell                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                        
 I've come to grips with that pain                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                         whenever I see my dad again,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
 I'll tell him that I was so wrong                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I didn't know I didn't have long                                                             ­                                                                 ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
I have learned lessons along the way.                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
  I tell my loved ones I care every day                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
  I know I'm still my daddy's girl,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
that he's watching me from his world                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
I sense his presence time to time                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
  He tells me he is doing just fine                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I know that he has forgiven me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                 
  and that knowledge sets me free

When you've fallen & broken with tears in your eyes                                  
                                                                ­                                                       
      and no words can be spoken to make it all right                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
When you're on the floor, bent down on your knees,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                             
confident & assured you're right where you should be                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                             
When you beat yourself up just like you always do,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                          
convincing yourself of that is what's killing you                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                      
Get up, take a deep breath & stop all of this                                                
                                                                ­                                              
before you throw yourself down into the abyss                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                       
   You can choose who it is that you want to be,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
throw away all your fears & vanities                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                              
Don't invest in people who hold you down,                                              
             ­                                                                 ­                                    
the clock is not just a ticking sound                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
Act, change, before it is too **** late                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
  Reclaim your power, renew your faith                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
  You are the master of your own destiny,                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
rise up & shine, set yourself free

I know you said it was over for us,                                                              ­                                                              
I know I have broken your trust                                                            ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
but every time that you get
near,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
my head has heard but my heart has no
ears                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
You still look good and that's no
lie,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
   I still smile when I look in your
  eyes                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I know you've made it perfectly
clear,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                        
  but my head has heard but my heart has no
  ears                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                        
  I make excuses just to talk to
  you,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
  I can't take the fact that I've lost
  you                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
You say it's over, but I can see your
tears                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My head has heard but my heart has no ears

I call you up to hear your voice                                                            ­                                                  
I know it's lame; I have no choice                                                    
   Now what am I supposed to do?                                                              ­                                              
   It's all that I have left of you                                                              ­                                                   
 I know that it has been years                                                            ­                                                  
  But despite crying many tears                                                            ­                                                  
  They've never stopped or healed                                                           ­                                           
  My broken heart & how it feels                                                            ­                                                  
  Since the day you didn't come home                                                             ­                                                
  I 've left your voicemail on the phone                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
Your things are how they were left                                                             ­                                                     
I haven't changed anything yet                                                              ­                                                   
    I just can't bring myself around                                                           ­                                               
 To the fact that you're in the ground                                                           ­                                       
Because I can feel you here with me                                                               ­                                              
 Exactly where I need you to be                                                               ­                                                     
   I have all the pictures you made                                                             ­                                                 
Been on the frig since second grade                                                            ­                                                  
   It's like you never went away                                                             ­                                           
  And I need it to stay that way                                                              ­                                         
 Your clothing still smells like you                                                              ­                                                   
I can't even clean your room                                                             ­                                                 
    I open the window each day                                                              ­                                               
 So, you can come in & play                                                             ­                                                 
  I still long to see your face                                                             ­                                                  
 I wish I could take your place                                                            ­                                              
  So young & carefree of heart                                                            ­                                                
Your passing tore me apart                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                    
It's something I can't accept                                                                      ­                                         Perhaps until my own death

Lift me up to the highest height,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
release me, I'm a bird in flight                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
Let the Earth's beauty fill me up,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
until I'm breathless & had enough                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­   
Let me soar into the azure skies,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
spread my wings so I can fly,                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
with soft wings, I sail, gliding by                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                    
Everything is different way up here,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
the beauty of life is much more clear

I like the Darkside, what bumps in the night                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
   I can't hardly wait till you turn out the light                                                            ­                                                                                ­                                                     
I creep around trying to give you a fright                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
A Vampire's instinct a big appetite                                                                     ­                                                     
I am the monster who's under your bed                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I am the reason that you can sense dread                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                      
Turn on the flashlight, cover your head                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
Don't call for your parents, they're already dead                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
  I like to tease the victim before the ****                                                             ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
  So, I wouldn't run, be very still                                                            ­                                                                 ­                               
                                                                ­                                                  
   Just like a child who won't swallow their pill                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  The fear gets to them, I like the thrill                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
   I've practiced along time hunting the scared                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                
   They like to scream & run to nowhere                                                    
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
   But in the end, fair is fair                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
    I've given no recourse but to get scared

No one cares what you've been
through,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
all the details, of what they did to
you                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­         
  I have been there & all I have to
say,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
  is  you need to heal, find your own
way                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
How long will you stay in your
past?                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
How long do you want the pain to
last?                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
Holding up your angry walls is hard to
do,                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
you're wasting energy that could heal
you                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
What you put out, comes back times
three,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                
 can you live with all the
  negativity?                                                   ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
If you can't forgive than try to
forget,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                      
everyone in life has pain and
regrets                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
You can't take back what happened
yesterday                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                      
but you can begin again and change today

I give too much to everyone else,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I don't save anything for myself                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
so, I end up empty as a
shell                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
resenting the takers & myself as
well                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I open my mouth the words come
out,                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
  I need to please, what's that
  about?                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
When the time comes to do the
deed,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I'm overwhelmed if I don't meet their
needs                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                      
  Why can't I take, why can't I
receive?                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Why can't I feel a little
greed?                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
I have wants, I have
needs                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
Sure there's a reason deep down inside                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  some under lying purpose of why I,                                                               ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't feel I deserve the pleasure                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                    
of someone who treats me better                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Maybe I just need to be
needed,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
that's why the cycle keeps being repeated

I can't look at the stars                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and not think of you                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   I wonder where you are                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and if you lonely too                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I can't look at the sea                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
or it's waves of blue                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
without remembering me                                                               ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
being there with you                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I can't gaze at the sun                                                              ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                              
when it's shining outside                                                          ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                              
only you light can me up inside                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I hate being out at night                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
if the sky is too clear                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
knowing the moonlight                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is reflecting off your hair                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­       
 If I were to go blind                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
and I couldn't ever see                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I' d see you in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
you haunt my memories                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I can't live without you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
how can you be without me?                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
Don't you miss me
too?                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
Aren't you ever lonely?

I am going to hide within myself,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
seem­s I can't trust anyone else                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                           
  Betrayed by those closest to me,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
why is this even happening?                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I'm no longer able to afford trust,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
when do I say enough is enough!                                                          ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  Life shouldn't be this hard,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­           
it's time I chest all my cards                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I guess what they say is true,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  the only true best friend is you

There's no sense in me giving my opinions,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
when you're the one making all the decisions                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
Your attitude makes me feel worthless,                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                                            giving you my heart, Oh so careless                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
What happened to the man you used to
be?                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
Not this figure standing over me,                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
veins bulging out of your neck,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
while your dark eyes are seeing
red                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Was the love you spoke of, ever real,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
was it all words that you didn't feel?                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                 
 If I don't leave you, I'll never
be                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                     
anyone I had ever hoped to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I don't know if you care or can't
see,                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
                                                                ­                                                
 that your kind of love is killing me

Sometimes you have to fall on your knees,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
to prove how strong you can really
be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
The ability to get back
up,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
can make you hard, make you
tough                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                    
    Sometimes you have to shed some tears                                                            ­        
to realize how to fight your fears
                                                                 ­                                                  
You know what they all say,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
there are gonna be better days                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
A broken heart can heal
itself,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                
with a little love, a little
help                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­        
Don't just give your heart
away                                                             ­                                             
                                                                ­                                          
because someone tells you it's
okay                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
Love's not all that it's cracked up to
be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and being alone doesn't mean
lonely                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
  Learn to love yourself the
  best                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 and let God do all the
  rest                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
  Be your own true & best friend,                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                     
  we all die alone in the
  end                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­    
Do what is right between you &
you,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
life is beautiful when you do

After the first storm of spring                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                  
turns everything to green,                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                
making all the birds sing                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
Where have all the flowers been?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
It smells so fresh outside,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
as I stand in the sunlight,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I can see blue birds in flight,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                      
their colors are so bright                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                              
There are buds on the trees,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                 
  trying to turn into leaves                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                         
  Children crossing the street,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
  kites blowing in the breeze,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                  
  earthworms peeking from the dirt,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                
­  mother rabbits giving birth                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                        
  Daffodils pushing up through                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
with their bright yellow hues                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The wonder of Spring                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
the renewed hope it brings                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
  Chasing Winter blues away,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                
what a beautiful day

Lying in a field, of tulips so red                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
Endlessly staring, into nothingness                                                      ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
Is anyone caring? Am I being missed?                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                       
Frozen in time, left in this place                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
The days go by, slow as a snail's pace                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                               
Winter blows in, I'm chilled to the bone                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
When summer comes, I'm still not home

Another morning that I wake up depressed,                                                       ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
it's painful to see that you're not home yet                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
As my heart beats hard inside my chest,                                                                                                                         ­                                                      
     it breaks from your constant disrespect
                                                                 ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
Leaving my mind to play the blame game,                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
    what did I do, what is this one's
   name?                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
You've broken every vow you've ever made                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                     
 and every time you did, I   always
  forgave                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                              
  When & if you ever decide to
arrive                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
  still drunk from the night & probably
high                                                  
          ­                                                                 ­                                   
You'll tell me all my nagging caused
this,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                            
point your finger & call me a
*****                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
   I'll bottle all that pain up deep
inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  but my tears are harder for me to
hide                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                           
   My heart can't take another
hit                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
   I know I deserve better than
this                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
   As you sleep soundly till five or
six,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
  I'll pack up myself & then the
kids                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
  You have nothing that I want to receive,                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                 
tomorrow it will be you waiting for me

You are a two-faced poser, a wanna be,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                          
  a tourist in your life, who are you gonna be?                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                          
  A Gemini, chameleon, you're a deuce                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                    
  everyone you've known you've abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­
You've spent whole your life trying to be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                           
  a real-life person with integrity                                                        ­          
                                                                ­                                                
You're a hater & can't stand to see                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                            
anyone who's happier than you'll ever be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A ruiner of life, you're a charade                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
filled with self-loathing & rage                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
I wish I could feel bad for you                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
but you make that difficult to do                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
If you could admit what you've done,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
you could have had what you want                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                
True to your nature you remain to be,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
a backstabbing snake & a wanna be

I am broken into pieces                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                     
  No glue will ever mend                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
Out of anyone's reaches                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I will no longer pretend                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                     
I am holding onto ledges,                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                          while defying gravity                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
with oil on the edges,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I cannot rescue me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I am walking a fine line,                                                            ­                                                              
wi­th a heavy heart                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
But I'll say that I'm fine.                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
so, I don't fall apart                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
  Inside a war is raging,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's me against myself                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
But I'll keep on staging,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
So no one can tell,                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                
that I am really close to                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                    
 going straight to hell                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
No one knows what I go through,                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
  I guess it's just as well

The wind whispers softly to me                                                               ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
 Telling me how my life could be                                                                  ­                                                    
 A story unrehearsed                                                                          ­                                               
Love in every verse                                                                    ­                                                   
Of two who overcome                                                                            ­                      
the odds to falling in  love                                                                          ­                             
Gentle breeze , tell me more                                                                         ­                                                  
Let me know what love is for                                                                                 ­                                                      
I listen quietly every day                                                                          ­                                   
To hear if love is on the way                                                                     ­                                    
Even leaves fall in pairs                                                                          ­                                                     
It seems that love is everywhere       
                                                                                                    
Everywhere but here with me                                                                            ­                                                     
all alone under this old tree                                                                                                                                                      ­   
The wind caresses my skin                                                                  ­                                                    
Where loving hands could have been                                                                    ­                                              
Why must I be all alone                                                            ­                                                                 ­                    
I want a love of my own

There are smiles you use to greet,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
there are smiles when you meet                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
The kind that looks into your heart,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
that cause your pulse to skip a beat                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
The type that can ignite a flame,                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
so, you never feel the same                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
  A smile that reaches their eyes,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                          
a kind of flirty surprise                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                            
There's the one reserved for you.                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
a look that's shared by you two                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                            
Where words are never said,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
it is a look to be read                                                             ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                
between two lovers, privately.                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 it looks like the one, you just gave to me

You know I didn't get away,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                            
   unscarred, unscathed,                                                       ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
  you don't think that I've paid,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                 
for the way that you behave                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
  Must I have physical proof,                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
  scratches & black eye bruised,                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  to show the harm that you can do,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  when you get to run
loose                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
You think you're so
innocent,                                                        ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
  God blessed, heaven sent                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
  but the truth is you are hell
bent                                                             ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                      
  to encase my heart in cement

Somewhere deep inside of me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
there's an insect squirming                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
waiting for an opportunity                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
or a perfect morning                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                     
It laid dormant for so long,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                       
I thought it was dead                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
but I was dead wrong,                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                          
it chose to be hidden instead                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
I would get a glimpse of it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                              
                                                                ­                                      
Somedays, I would cover it up                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
I tried to forget about it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but it was never enough                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
One day it just emerged,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                      
quite by mistake                                                          ­                                                                                                                      ­                                               
right on the verge of its big break                                                    
                                                                ­                                                     
 It struggled inside of me,                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I could feel it writhe                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
It wanted to be free,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I could sense it try                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­             
What could this insect be?                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
It was a butterfly

You said you would never call me names                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
But you lied & now nothing is the same                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
If you hit me, it would be less pain                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                               
 Love is replaced: resentment has remained                                                         ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
 I remember when you loved me much more                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
And now you don't love me anymore                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
We live together, yet we live apart                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
  Our hatred has changed our hearts                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
  We'll never go back to what we had                                                              ­                                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
All the good in you has changed to bad                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
  I can't be who you expect me to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                            
   You've ****** the light right out of me                                                               ­                                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
   I won't try to hold on to you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
   Make my heart numb. not be a fool                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
    It won't help to say that you're sorry                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
    You meant what you said, no apology                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
    I guess I needed to hear a moment of honesty                                                
                                                                ­                                                
    Even if was peppered & haughty                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
   I won't say that you didn't tear me apart                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                           
   With your wandering eye, wandering heart

Pull my tongue out of my mouth,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
  use a spoon & hollow me out,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
  take off a chunk of my skin,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
  it's okay, there's life within                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
Pluck my eyes from my face,                                                            ­                                                  
I don't want to see the human race,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
remove my fingers from my hand,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
you don't need to understand                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                 
 Cut my heart from my chest,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I guarantee I won't contest                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
Go ahead & pick my brain,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you will see nothing
remains,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
Go ahead, you will see,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
you will find an empty me

Unblinking eyes, plastic smiles                                                                       ­    
Not seeing me, this thing defiled                                                                      ­ 
No friends, many enemies                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                             
No one cares about me                                                                          ­                                        
                                                                ­                                        
 Shunned kids at school                                                           ­     
                                                                 ­                                                     
Not good enough, too uncool                                                                      ­                                           
 Taking me to my limit
                                                           ­                                                            
I just kept on taking it                                                                  ­                                        
Pushing it down deep inside                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                           
Shows itself as I hide                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A target, bullied every day                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I die a little more each day                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                      
Collapsing inside, heart first                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
Don't they how much it hurts?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
In private, hot tears slide                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                              
Won't let them take my pride                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
I pretend that I don't care                                                             ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
Don't return their cold stares                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
Rush back home to get away                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                              
Don't want to be bullied today

If the sun slid into the sea,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
 If the moon lost its gravity,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
 If the trees never grew new leaves,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
there would still be you & me                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
If I never walked again,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                          
If nothing was how it should 've been,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
 If I never had any friends.                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  there would still be you & me                                                               ­ 
                                                                ­                                                     
    If no roses ever
bloomed,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  If I lived in just one room,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
If the radio played one tune,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                            
  there would still be you & me                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
  If everything fell out of place                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  or a smile never crossed my
face,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  If astronauts never went to space,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
there would still be you & me                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                
 If all the stars fell down                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
and streams went
underground,                                                     ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
If all that was lost was found,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
there would still be you & me

How quickly life passes us by                                                         
  That we often don't enjoy the ride                                                        
   Always wishing our days away                                                            
   Like we are assured another day                                                    
  Days turn into months, then
  years                                                         ­                         
And just like that we disappear                                                    
While loved ones go through all our stuff                           
Holding onto trinkets we held dear  by us      
Every once in a while, our name comes up                                         
A memory , a life , a loss of love.

Words haunt me,                                                              ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                          
forming
unprovoked,                                                      ­                                        
                                                                ­                                            
growing inside   me,                                                              ­                                                              
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
stuck in my
throat                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                              
Keeps me up
nightly,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                      
sometimes I must
write,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
can't take it
lightly,                                                         ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                    
till I make it right                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
Pushing,
evolving,                                                        ­                                          
                                                                ­                                        
thoughts in my
head,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                           
puzzle solving,                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­  
writing in my
bed                                                              ­                                        
                                                                ­                                          
Causing
anxiety                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                             
if I don't get it out                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
It stays in my
memory                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
and jumbles about                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­     
Finally, the ******,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I've got it all down,                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                           
 as I try to go
  back,                                                         ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                          
to sleep safe &
sound                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
Like a leaky
faucet,                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it comes back
on,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
I've had
enough,                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I write until dawn

I am past the point of caring,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                          
I am past the point of hurt                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                          
I shut down and stopped sharing                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                                
I think we are at our worst                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
You've ripped out my heart                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and left a jagged hole                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
but the saddest part,                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                                 is it's turned black as
coal                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
I feel hollowed out and vulnerable                                                       ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  empty inside without a soul,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                            
unable to feel or just incapable                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
You have achieved your goal,                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm unable to smile, numb to the core,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  a barren waste field, unable to grow                                                             ­                     
 You're such a glutton and return for more                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I thought you loved me but didn't
know                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that you're a selfish person, a total *******

I could write you a letter                                                           ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
tell you how I really feel                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
Bare my heart on white
paper,                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
make assurances that it's real                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                   
Threaten you amongst hot
tears,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
point my finger towards you                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
but I know you have deaf ears                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
and feel nothing will ever do                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
The truth is we both try
  hard                                                          ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
and we are both
complicated                                                      ­                            
                                                                ­                                          
Holding to the chest all the cards                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
that may be the key to save us                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                            
Fearful to reveal our love                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­       
find reasons to give
up                                                               ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                      
Never feeling we are loved                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and unwilling to fully trust                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
It never is an easy thing,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
to pretend we don't feel the pain                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
but deep inside we feel
something                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
that makes us want to try
again                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
So please believe nothing's
changed                                                          ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                                 
My feelings of love remain,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
you & I are too close to the
same                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
and I really want to try again

There comes a time when it's all or none,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
   when you don't want a bite or to even have some                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
Some people I know say, that it's called greed,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
  but I believe it is fulfilling your own needs                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
I always wanted more than some might,                                        
                                                                ­                                                
wished I had the wings to take flight                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
There is nothing wrong in wanting to succeed,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
to set the goals that you want to archive                                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
 It's not like I take more than I can eat,                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I am just a little more hungry                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
That gleam you may see in my eyes,                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
may take some of you by
surprise                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                                      
If it makes it too hard for you abide,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                    
  I'll step over you & not ask you why

You drug me down in my despair,                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
you shamed me into staying there,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
made me feel that no one cared,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I was a prisoner in the devil's lair                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                              
Every time I gathered up strength,                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                                  
 you assured me you were my friend                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
Went on & on to great lengths,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
you loved me when others didn't                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'd given more than I really had                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                
held you whenever you were sad                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
but you never gave me anything back,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 
leaving me broken & in your grasp                                                            ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
I was focused on that tiny light                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  that shone in my heart, so bright                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
I knew there was a better life                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                     
not with you but Jesus
Christ                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I called out to God in Jesus's name,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                        
asked him to heal this heart of pain,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
to let me walk in the light
again,                                                           ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                          
allow peace of mind to begin                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
as I planned my
disentanglement                                                  ­                
                                                ­                                                               
 from life with you &
  punishment                                                    ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
for a power that was heaven
sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
and now I cherish life's every moment

Get your knee off of my neck                                                             ­                                                                 ­                
Take your foot off of my chest                                                            ­                
 You used to say I was the best                                                             ­               
You fill my heart up with regret                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
You build me up to bring me down                                                             ­                                                
I do better when you're not around                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
You want me 6 feet underground                                                      ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Prefer me not to make a sound                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
At one time, those big dark eyes,                                                            ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                       
made me feel safe inside                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
but there was hatred brewing there                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                              
  exposed by your cold, blank stares                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
  Y­ou are not who you used to be                                        
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes, I think you'll **** me                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I think you have a monster inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
That you wish you could still hide                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I no longer feel love for you                                                              ­                                                                 ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  I only stay because of what you'll do                                                               ­                                                                 ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  I'm too scared to run away                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I know that will fan the flames                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
The thrill of the hunt in you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
will give you any **** excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
  To give me what you think I need                                                             ­                                                                 ­
  A lesson you're sure that I'll heed

I fell but I didn't stay down,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
got back up & I looked
around                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
While there, guess what I
found                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
that I was still success
bound                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
For all of those who laughed at
me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  hurt me more than
  repeatedly,                                                   ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                
took their pleasure in my pain,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
kicked me over & over
again                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
I hold myself with a sense of
pride                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
and that takes more than you  
realize                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                     
 It would be easier to roll over &
  die                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
but it's not in me to not at least
try                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                               
 Now that my life's on the right track,                                              
                                                                ­                                                
    there is no more going
   back                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
It is you that I feel sorry
for,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
 ­ you don't know what a heart is
for                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
I am going to spend my
time,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                           
 healing my heart ,body &
  mind,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
while you continue to be miserable,                                                       ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
I will continue to be wonderful!

Like a tape player on rewind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 I see it all clearly in  my mind,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                          
memories flash before aged eyes                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the things I lived before I die,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I see my children, small & frail,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                    
acknowledge attempts that I 've failed                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
that I would have done differently,                                                     ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
in the life of another me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  I remember first days at school                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
  picnics­ at the swimming pool                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  all of those wonderful
memories                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                 
 and others not so
pleasantly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I remember how love can hurt                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                              
 of things that were far worse                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
All of this pain I pushed away                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to remember another day                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
I hope if that day comes,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I can stand up & be the one                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ that is so convincingly                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­       
another version, another me

It is a cool summer night,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
fireflies are in flight,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  stars like fireworks so bright,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                               
    mosquitos with hearty appetites                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
There's a slight breeze around,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
a moist dew on the ground                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
A bonfire & cold beer,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm wishing you were here                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Kids playing with flashlights,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
all camping out till daylight,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
wading­ pools filled with grass,                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  the day faded so fast                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                              
Marshmallows are grilling,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                        
everyone is chilling                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
It's a perfect summer night,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                      
  everything is just right

You say you are ready to talk,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
after I tell you I'm gonna walk                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
Tired of the procrastination,                                                 ­                                             
 you bring to every situation                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                         
I hear your silence out loud                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                              
I'm the only one in the crowd                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
who's always picking up the pieces,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                        
whenever your attention ceases                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
This is the same thing, different day,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you don't know what to do or say                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and when you speak you tell me
  lies,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 so many reasons that you can't  
  try                                                    ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
I have heard all of this before ,                                                                ­                      
about how you will be there
more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
Your love has filled my heart with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
you have nothing I can't live
without                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
I really can't take on another
bout                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
  of surviving your nuclear
fallouts

The man I loved didn't love me                                                                        ­                                                
 He told me I was unworthy                                                         ­            
                                                                       ­                                            
Called me names, that I won't say                                                                         ­                                
Made my life hell everyday                                                                      ­                                                 
His whole goal was to break me down                                                                               ­                                              
Make insults with others around                                                           ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                                
  I took it & swallowed my pride                                                                       ­                                              
Went along on a hell of a ride                                                             ­                                       
Telling myself If still loved you     
                                                        ­                        
 You would really love me too                                                             
        
Now I know there's nothing I can do                                                                     ­                                             
There is no fixing you

Is it that you aren't up to the task                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
  or maybe you are too afraid to ask,                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­     
    when you see that I'm falling apart                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
that I detect apathy in your heart?                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
Was our love real or was I wrong                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
have you always been stringing me
along?                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
I thought you were always going to
be                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                   
someone who would be there for
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
I've been truthful & true to
you,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
had your back when you felt
abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
 ­ A shoulder to cry on when in need,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
I've patched you up
repeatedly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
but every time I have fallen down,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
  you let me lay there on the
   ground                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                     
 It was easier for you to walk
away,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
than to be support for me &
stay                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I think deep down I 've always
known                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                     
  that your true colors have
shown                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
I was too in love with love to
see                                                              ­                                            
 that you never stood beside me