If I could gather all my energy , like a lightning bolt, one thousand degrees                                                          ­                                                         I'd send it your way ASAP, then I'd pull you right into me                                                               ­                                                        Light a million fires till you say, a real I love you, everyday                                                         ­                                                     make you look me in the eyes ,look into my soul                                                             ­                                                            warm up your heart that has grown cold

I closed my eyes, held my hands up high,                                                            ­                                                      asked the Lord to stay by my side                                                             ­         I  am in pain and I can't decide                                                                  ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­what to do no matter how hard I try,                                                           ­                                                                                                             ­                  gave him all of my guilt and sorrow                                                           ­         asked for peace for a better tomorrow                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                  asked him to fill me with his bright white light                                                                  ­                                                                 ­     prayed he would watch over me at night                                                            ­                                                                I sat like that for a long time,                                                                              ­        easing the strain  of my troubled mind                                                       I felt peace wash over me                                                               ­              cleansing my pain, my anxiety                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                   When life's problems are too much to bear                                                 hold up your hands, he'll be there                                                     holding your hand, giving you strength,                                                        ­  all of God's love,  within an arm's length

There comes a time in your life, when you have to face all you've done                                                             ­                                                        Have you tasted it, taken a bite, or crossed off your list, a single one?                                                             ­                                                         Are you living each day like it lasts because life goes so fast,                                                            ­                                                              so I like to do more often than not, sit myself down and straight talk                                                             ­                                                                You can't change or live in the past, it dims life's light with the shadow it casts                                                                                            ­                                It humbles me and makes me aware, love is garden that needs care                                                             ­                                                            It's so easy to build up a wall  ,impossible to scale it keeps out all  ,                                                           ­                                                            once you feel no one's there, remember you shunned all who cared                                                            ­                                                             Life is fleeting and love is strong, both must be given freely to work along                                                            ­                                                               I have seen it  many times,  life and love withering on the vine

Love is like a rare flower, it possesses a power                                                            ­                                                 Drawing you in, luringly, beautiful but needs nurturing                         from a distance we can see all  of its outer beauty                                                           ­                                                      something we crave, something we need                                                             ­                                                          we drink it in so greedily ,but few can grow it properly

A mother cat and her babies, maybe five, maybe four                           Together all cuddling in a box on the floor                                                            ­                                                           She is so attentive, as they meow loudly,                                                          ­                                                   She gets them motivated, corrals them proudly                                                          ­                                                     A collection of soft and colorful fur                                                              ­    up safe in their loft, they snuggle and purr                                                 She eyes me watching, while cleaning them gently                                   none of them matching other than their innocent beauty

You know that smile that reaches your eyes,                                                            ­                                                                                                              ­                                                        one  saved for love, the one for  surprise                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­               the one that's reserved, for no one but me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­            like my favorite dessert, made especially

Ever since we've been together,                                                        ­                I've been here, you're over there                                                                 I have been trying to reel you in,                                                                        to  make you express your feelings                                                         ­            But you've thrown up a love proof wall                                                          so impervious to it all                                                              ­                           Like a soldier, I trudge up to you,                                                             ­  your mighty wall not breaking through                                                     I've  fought the good fight,                                                           ­               but  warriors die sometimes                                                        ­         so,  I  am giving up on us                                                               ­             I have been fighting long enough                                                           ­                  I don't want to fight for somebody who                                              isn't fighting for my love too

I gave my all every time, gave my heart, gave my mind                                                             ­                                                       one hundred and ten percent, like a weathered reed I have bent                                                             ­                                                    wrung my hands in despair, because I loved, because I cared                                                            ­                                                             I have wept tears and I have tried, to make a change, to be a guide                                                            ­                                                             It's my curse to love and mend, my family and my friends                                                          ­                                                           To offer hope and humanity, to offer help to those in need                                                             ­                                                          It's the way we all should be, not to follow but to lead, but perhaps it's just the Aquarian in me

I have weathered the storm                                                            ­                   I've swam against the riptide                                                          ­              was tattered and torn,                                                            ­                                                         
 turned­ in from the outside                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­  I didn't know how to swim,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                  I was lost out to sea                                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­   I had nothing to left to give                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ and nothing left for me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ Lost in the black forest                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 that was thick with trees                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                For the weary, no rest                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                  heart weighed down heavily                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                               No bread crumbs or trails                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­  to show me my way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­       Only the will to prevail                                                          ­                                     Has saved me today

There are pieces of you everywhere,                                                      ­                                       
   for as far as the eye can see                                                     
        ­                                                                 ­                                                          I want to erase you, but I don't dare                                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
in case you're still in love with me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
So, now they've become chess pieces                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
that I move strategically                                                    ­                          
                                                                ­                                            
Praying that my love decreases,                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                      
so, I can start healing                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                            
Playing a game with my love,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
don't know if I'll win or lose                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I have been playing this long enough,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
this game between me and you

The flames of the fire are
gone,                                                           ­                                                             slowly the embers grow
faint,                                                          ­                                                                ashes waltz in orange taffeta,                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
  carried up into the darkness and fade

You say you are ready to talk,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
after I tell you I'm gonna walk                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
Tired of the procrastination,                                                 ­                                             
 you bring to every situation                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                         
I hear your silence out loud                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                              
I'm the only one in the crowd                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
who's always picking up the pieces,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                        
whenever your attention ceases                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
This is the same thing, different day,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you don't know what to do or say                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and when you speak you tell me
  lies,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 so many reasons that you can't  
  try                                                    ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
I have heard all of this before ,                                                                ­                      
about how you will be there
more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
Your love has filled my heart with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
you have nothing I can't live
without                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
I really can't take on another
bout                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
  of surviving your nuclear
fallouts

He tried his best to get past
it,                                                              ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
He exhausted himself trying to go around
it,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
  but he had to go through it to get it right                                                            ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  I couldn't act for him and stood by
helplessly                                                    ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                         
watching him struggle through the
emotions                                              
          ­                                                                 ­                                 
          knowing he wouldn't grow by just going through the motions

You that never loved, let me show you how                                                              ­                  
You who never laughs, laugh out loud now                                                        
You have a smile that never is shown                                                            ­                
Let it all happen now, you are loved, you know                                                            
You with tears in your eyes, dry them up,                                                          
You with your pain, have suffered enough                                                           ­                   
You with the weight of loss & agony                                                            ­  
Let it all go you deserve to be happy

It feels like you're adrift at
sea,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
where you have spent an eternity,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
with no one to cling to but
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
and it's slowly drowning
me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                               
 Splashing, crashing far from
shore                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
I've been the boat and you're the oars                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                    
that you have thrown in
carelessly                                                       ­         
                                                                                                  ­              
because it's easier to be here
with me                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
Eyes closed underwater you can't
see                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                          
through the sea of uncertainty                      
                               ­                                                                 ­                   
You cling to me, catch your breath,                                                          ­                                                    
pushing me close to my own
death                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
still can't live with your
regrets                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
can't stand on the shore just yet

I reset my boundaries,                                                      ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
that soon became walls.                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
my life's filled with difficulties,                                                    ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
and I'll overcome it all

You don't see things the way that I do,                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
that's what makes me, me and makes you, you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
I can see beauty in so many things,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
there are more gems than diamonds in those rings                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
Not every flower smells like a rose,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  you can be in a picture and not have to pose                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Every animal is not a purebred,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                            
actions are shown not in words that are said

You pass your judgement off onto me,                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
with strategic, hurtful whisperings                                                      ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
You even believe your own lies,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
think you're a master of disguise                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
You don't even care if it's right,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
   I brought my truth to a knife
fight                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Your only goal is to win the game,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  where I am expected to take the
  blame.                                                        ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  A game where no one will really
  win,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  so, I am cashing all my chips
  in                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
   I am no longer filled with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
so go ahead and call me
out                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­
I think it's time I turn the
tides,                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
I am in your head, I am inside                                                          
                                                                ­                                           
   Ravaging your comfort zone,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
   leaving nothing but skin and
  bones                                                         ­             
                                                   ­                                               
  I'm now comfortable with your
  insecurities,                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
  taking the power from you and giving it to me

Someone told me to write what you know                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
but I'm not sure that is the way to go                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
All I know is heartache and pain,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
when writing it out, I'm reliving it again                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
I'd rather write poems about someone else,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
to take some of the heat off of myself,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
to escape to a world full of fantasy,                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
where no one even resembles me                                                            
  ­                                                                 ­                                                     
I want to write of love and tenderness,                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                              
about someone who knows happiness                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
I want to write about someone breaking free                                                  
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 of all of the problems plaguing me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                              
That's where I want to be

I'm loosening the reins,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­              
         I am letting go                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm living again,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
out of your shadow                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                          
I am coming up, 
                                                                ­                                                        
I have had enough
                                                                 ­                            
 This is not love,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
It's over for
us                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll push you away,                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
I'll close my heart                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
Today is the day,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I get a new
start                                                           ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
Today the sun will shine                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­                   
and be bright for me                                                               ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
   I 've found my inner light                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                            
  a healing energy

Lately something's come over
me,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
I've been thinking of walking into the
sea                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
Feel the water splash all over me,                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
  as the waves carry me so
gently                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
Grains of sand, so cool under my
feet,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
while the sun shines down to greet me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
Feel at peace with all the creatures
there,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                             
allow the ocean to wash away my
cares                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
   Lay back and just float away, 
                                                      
  experie­nce it all, enjoy the day                                                              ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
Taste the salt that lingers on my
face                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
feel the stickiness of ocean
spray,                                                          ­                                                                                                                               ­                                   
   Walk along the waters  edge, so clear,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  as the seagulls scream in my ears

Sometimes to transform you have to inspire yourself,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
don't wait for it to come from someone else                                                             ­                                                  
 If it starts to hurt it means you are growing,                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
   when things start to turn your wisdom is showing                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                
­  Give yourself the permission to
cry,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                           
  never give up you will succeed if you
try                                                              ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
The top of the hill seems far
away                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
but you will be able to conquer it someday                                                  
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
All of the mountains you have put in
place,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  will all be behind you when you win the race

Enjoy the rise, the fall follows,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                            
 joined by sighs, that come
tomorrow                                                         ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                        
In the limelight, the sun
shines                                                          ­                                                     
   In the twilight, stains of red wine                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                            
Beauty fades, just like real love                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                             
When we age, we see what we're made of                                                        
                                                                ­                                        
Children grow, if you let them,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                            
Children know, what we teach them                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
Like the ebb and tide, and seasons changing,                                                  
                                                                ­                                      
everything in life is always rearranging

You pull me in ways I don't want to go                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
You show me things I don't want to know                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
You tell me the words I want to hear,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
you are the very thing I fear                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
You hold my hand, you hold me down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I feel like I'm six feet underground                                                      ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You whisper sweet lies to watch me react,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I wish I could take all my love back                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
You push me out of my comfort zone,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
then when we get home, you leave me alone                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I never know who I'm going to get today,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                           
someone who cares or just wants it their way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                
  All the things I loved about you,        
                                                    ­                                                                    
are the very things that broke us in two

There is not a single day, that I don't walk this way                                                              ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
It's just a path that I take, when I have decisions to make                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
It's given me the chance to see, God's work so perfectly                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
Amongst the birds and the bees, are flowers I keep noticing                        
                                                                ­                                              
They are both yellow and orange, not much to see,                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but I have seen them bloom in May, clumped in snow on a cold day                                  
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
  I can't help but admire their will, standing tall, standing still,      
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­          
its head held high with dignity, I hope I have that strength in me

My heads in my hands, my hearts on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
    You don't understand, I can't take it no more                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
I can't keep giving to have you take it away                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
Are you listening? I am not going to stay                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                           
  I cannot trust you, you are so mendacious,                                                      ­        
                                                        ­                                                                 ­ 
I can't forgive your behavior, it's outrageous,    
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
You say that you love me then hurt me so
bad,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
can you say honestly, you want what you have?                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You make me forget what I ever loved in you,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   
You make me regret everything I've done for you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Why can't you just think and act before you do                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
  Your decisions stink, not everything's about you                                            
                                                                ­                                    
  Narcissistic and shallow, you only love yourself,                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  So empty and hollow, you can go **** yourself,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
  as much as I love you, I hate you as well,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
There's nothing more to say or do except, Go to hell.

You can't stop me from dreaming,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                    you can't stop me from reaching                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I may be an over achiever,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
it's because I'm a believer                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                          
I trust in no one but myself,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
can't depend on no one else                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll climb the mountain and not fall,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
conquer and break down every wall                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll hold my head up with pride,                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
  with confidence in every stride                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                              
  Proud of every step I take,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
  be sure of every move I make                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The master of my own destiny,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
I'll be whoever I want to be

You have broken me, torn me apart                                                      
Put me on my knees and ripped out my heart                                                            ­              
You've caused great pain, sheer agony                                                          
You'll do it again, because you love me                                                          
You've stretched me thin; you've worn me out                                                              ­          
Gotten under my skin, made me scream out loud                                          
Twisted my memories, inflicted total misery                                                      
******  with my mind, because you love me                                                          
You bared your teeth, then bled me dry                                                              ­
****** me like a leech, I'm empty inside                                                           ­       
Made me swallow what was left of my pride                                                    
turned me into someone I despise, because you love me

Some wounds never heal,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
that would require me to feel                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                          
I cover the cracks outside,                                                         ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                            
build my walls so high                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
My little secrets unrevealed

I've been standing in the shadows watching others live,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                  
allowing them to take from me all I had to
give                                        
                                                                ­                                                
Saving nothing for myself, I'm an empty
soul,                                          
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
    I need to find a remedy to help make me
whole                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
 I was raised to give to anyone in need
                                                            ­   
  but I didn't realize that ''anyone'' was
  me                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                        
Thinking it was selfish to withhold my
love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
allowed me to put everyone else above                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
  Trying to please others was something I 'd
  do                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  and I got satisfaction from loving
you                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  By the time I noticed, I was someone who,                                        
                                                                ­                                                            
  wa­s never taught to show myself that love too                                
                             ­                                                                 ­                    
  I've been standing in the shadows watching others
live,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  giving more of myself than I had to give

I deeply exhaled and I let you go,                                                              ­                                       
an inner peace I've never known                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
no reflex at all, going loose,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                              
      doing exactly what I choose                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
 Relaxing for the first time,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
releasing pain in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­
  Melting while I float away,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                              
  living my life, my own way                                                              ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                     
  I'm letting go of me and you too,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's something that I needed to do                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                 
  Thinking of only myself,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                  
  putting me before everyone else                                                  
                                                                ­                                          
  Foreign but delectable,                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
feeling free and unpredictable                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I close my eyes & sleep so deep,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
  a well-deserved dreamless sleep                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
  My mind is clear, my heart is
light                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
My spirit soars like a bird in
flight                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                            
By letting go of me and you                                                              ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                       
  it was the best thing I could do

I am past the point of caring,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                          
I am past the point of hurt                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                          
I shut down and stopped sharing                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                                
I think we are at our worst                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
You've ripped out my heart                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and left a jagged hole                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
but the saddest part,                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                                 is it's turned black as
coal                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
I feel hollowed out and vulnerable                                                       ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  empty inside without a soul,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                            
unable to feel or just incapable                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
You have achieved your goal,                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm unable to smile, numb to the core,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  a barren waste field, unable to grow                                                             ­                     
 You're such a glutton and return for more                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I thought you loved me but didn't
know                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that you're a selfish person, a total *******

Years of words unspoken between you and me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
has caused a lot of tension and instability                                                      ­        
                                                                ­                                                               Hidden anger and resentment drove us apart,                                            
              ­                                                                 ­                                       
  just like the hatred we have in our hearts                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
We both know it's over, but no move is made,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
how much more is sacrificed before the price is paid                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
We continue together but broken in two,                                                          
                                                                ­                                        
unwilling to give up on me and on you                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
We both push each other to be the one to give in,                        
                                                                ­                                              
seeing who will break and who will
bend                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
So busy pointing fingers and not holding hands,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
we throw out blows and hope they land                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
There's so much **** water under the bridge,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­       
  as we stand together out on the ledge                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
  The only time we come together is to destruct                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  the very thing we once loved so much

Every time I put my foot down,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
you get ****** and start coming around                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
and about the time I'm on solid ground,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
you come back to claim your lost and found                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
You can't stand me being on my own,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
you hate the thought that I have grown                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just like I flower I start to bloom                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
  till you get jealous & cut my roots                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  Why can't you swallow your pride,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I don't need you by my side to thrive                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                              
  You're so afraid that I have moved on                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
and have no need to bring you along                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Let me go, you never really cared                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                
      until you realized I'm no longer there.

I know you said it was over for us,                                                              ­                                                              
I know I have broken your trust                                                            ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
but every time that you get
near,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
my head has heard but my heart has no
ears                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
You still look good and that's no
lie,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
   I still smile when I look in your
  eyes                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I know you've made it perfectly
clear,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                        
  but my head has heard but my heart has no
  ears                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                        
  I make excuses just to talk to
  you,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
  I can't take the fact that I've lost
  you                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
You say it's over, but I can see your
tears                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My head has heard but my heart has no ears

These tears you see falling are my heart on my
sleeve,                                                    
     ­                                                                 ­                                                        I'm dying on the inside, but the outside is all you
  see                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
   I can put on a fake smile that is your faulty
   reality,                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can alter my perception of who you think is
    me                                      
                                                                ­                                                                 ­    I have all the things that make others happy                                     
                      ­                                                                 ­                       
  looking at my situation can fill someone with
jealousy                                                    ­                                                        
  but deep inside I'm broken where no one else can see,                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I hide the wounds by laughing to cover my
frailty                                
                                                                ­                                                    
  So many different experiences formed my personality,              
                                      ­                                                                 ­        
 some were good and some were just major tragedies                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't want to go back again, it's all too hard for
me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                                    
so, I put on a plastic smile and pretend just to be

I could never please you, God knows that I've tried                                                            ­                                                 
    My efforts have amused you, so many nights I cried                                                            ­                                            
Every time I got up, you knocked me back down                                                             ­                                           
Now that I have had enough, I'm knocking off your crown

The torn wings of a butterfly,                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
never lets them truly
fly,                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                                
The wind never feels the same
                                                            ­                                                            
  but a different beauty still
  remains                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
Lackluster and so fragile,                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                         
   perhaps a little less
agile                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can still see their former
  light,                                                  ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
  a beautiful butterfly in flight

Eventually has caught up with me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
it's come knocking at my
door                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                      
Here to come and play with
me,                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
an admirable show of
force                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
As it laughs in my
face                                                             ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
saying it can't be
ignored,                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I try to find my happy
place,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                             
 where I used to hide
before                                                           ­                       
                                                                 ­                                             
Black eyes and bold, breathing
fire,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  it rises up from
  beneath                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­      
Showing me my funeral
pyre                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  and challenging my
beliefs                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I knew it was looming
there,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I had sensed it many times                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
but until it showed, I
declared,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                 
I would live this life of
mine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
but now it's here,
threatening                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm defenseless in its
grip,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
the screams are deafening                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                   
While I deal with this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                              
  ­outwardly, I show a smile                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                    
Then the fear rushes
in                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                        
  knowing I have a short
while                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                     
  before eventually comes crashing in

I could think of one hundred ways,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
that I could say good-bye today                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
You're the best at what you do,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                            
happy to break my heart in two                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
and every time you look at me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
I think of who I wished you'd be                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
That guy who loved me so much                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
that you could never get enough                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
The man that I once looked up to,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
not this one who loves to abuse                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                          
Someone that I used to respect,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
not demanding his needs be met                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
You bully me to see your views,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
then sit up all night to argue                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                            
Where you ever really that man,                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
the one that always kissed my
hand                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You tell me that you still care,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  why? because your still here?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                          
When is the last time you said,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
I love you before going to bed                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                
Then I wonder even if you changed,                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Could I even love you again?

My heart weighs one hundred pounds,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
tethered by a chain that you drag around                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
  You­ have the power, you have the key                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ My abductor, but I stay willingly

When the glitter fell so did the spell, of the Knight in shining armor                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
She came to understand that he was just a man who in the end
would harm her,                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  now faced with the truth, he was the proof, she distanced herself
from him,                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                            
braced for the worst even though it would hurt, it was the best
thing for them                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
She was prepared that if he really cared, he would persist to have
her                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                   
 but in the end, he was like the other men, not her Knight in shining
armor

Someone asked me what I do well,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                          
I didn't know and couldn't tell                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  
Never really thought about that,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­         
I had always worn the same hat                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  Decided I should go find out,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  who I am, what am I about?                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
  Set out on a journey to see,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  my aspirations, my realities,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                
  Found out I liked to write,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                          
couldn't turn it off at night                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Pen to paper opened in me,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
a hidden talent, an ability                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
Bought a journal & set down,                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it became therapeutic, I found                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Couldn't get words out fast enough,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
I felt self-conscious opening up                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Now keeping it in hurts me more,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
so many stories behind these doors                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
Now it's second nature to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
to be starting journal twenty-three                                                     ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
Feels so good, just to breathe,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  to get all of this out of me

All the pressures of
perfection,                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
obstacles in all
directions,                                                      ­                                
                                                                 ­                                                      
  can wear down a practiced
smile,                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
like chocking on acidic
bile                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­              
Cracked face on a porcelain
doll,                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
treat it like a surface
flaw                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
All the makeup and the facades                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                        
help to quell the stormy
squalls                                                          ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                    
So, she stays in the direction                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                              
of trying to perfect perfection

Lying in a field, of tulips so red                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
Endlessly staring, into nothingness                                                      ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
Is anyone caring? Am I being missed?                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                       
Frozen in time, left in this place                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
The days go by, slow as a snail's pace                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                               
Winter blows in, I'm chilled to the bone                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
When summer comes, I'm still not home

We've been together, forever it seems,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
  and all that time, I've been lying,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
or at least I have led you to believe,                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                             that I'll give you my love selflessly                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
Never asking for a thing in return,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
followed you through hell, even as I burned                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
But I have finally seen the light,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
you were never worthy of this plight                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I asked for nothing and it's what I received,                                                        ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
you have taken my all, ruining me                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
  I never felt I had any real worth,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought that your hatred was deserved                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
With no self-esteem, it was so easy,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
to hold me down, my throat under your knee                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
It wasn't until I struggled to be free                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that I saw what you were doing to me

Hating you is so **** easy,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
loving you was like my disease                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
I'm distancing myself so I can see,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
the real you and the brand new
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
These mental walls, I've stood
behind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
keep you away while I clear my
mind                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  I've kept myself on the right
track                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
and I can't afford to ever look
back                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
  You are my past all a bad
memory,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                   
 loves meant to last, I deserve
cherishing                                                       ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought if I gave my all to
you,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
that you in return would do that too

If you leave me right now,                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
there will be no going
back                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                   
So, don't think that
somehow,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
it will be as simple as
that                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll have to harden my
  heart                                                         ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
and be stone cold to
you                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  because once we're
apart,                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
  I am going to be
through                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I will have to move past,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all the lies that you told                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and to face up at last that,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I loved you heart and soul                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  I can feel the distance,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                
­  between us even
now,                                                             ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                    
so, don't think persistence                                                      ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
will turn this back around                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm moving out and moving
up                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                                          
  and I am going to do
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
  I won't string you along,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
  or mourn you endlessly                                                        ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
  From the look on your
face,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                 
 you wanted to see me
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
but your love will leave no
trace                                                            ­                        
  I guess this is good-bye

You are back at my front door,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
the one you slammed the year before,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
with flowers and your, I love You's,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
like you believe that I still love you too                                                              ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
but all the words that you say,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
have lost their meaning along the
  way                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                     
Sorry, I know the real
truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
that she's broken up with
you,                                                            ­                                                             
so, you're checking in on number two,                                                             ­                                                                                                                    ­                                               
how many more have you gone
too?                                                            ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You aren't man enough to love
 anyone,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
 let alone us both, you're still a
 con                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
 Even if I was desperate, you wouldn't
  be                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
  someone I would take back
  willingly                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                 
 The year that I have been here
  alone,                                                        ­                                                                                  ­                                                       
  I have healed and I have
  grown,                                                        ­      
                                                          ­                                                           
  so, I suggest you go find number
  three,                                                        ­                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  inflict your twisted love on
  somebody                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
  I hope she figures you out from the
  start                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
  the­n turns around and breaks your heart