I was faced with a choice when I met you                                                    you came in with an X and were someone new                                                              ­                                                              I was with a guy, but I wanted you                                                              ­ now I pay the price for breaking all the rules                                                     I broke the heart of a good man                                                              ­    didn't see him in my future plans                                                            ­      but **** ,the lessons I have learned                                                          ­   loving you was like being burned                                                           ­      I had never loved anyone before                                                           ­             gave you my all and so much more                                                                        I gave more than I could afford                                                           ­     until I finally shut that door                                                             ­                    I wonder who I could have been                                                             ­               I know now that we weren't meant                                                            ­        I worked so hard to be your number one                                             when I was already that to someone

Today I woke up so depressed,                                                       ­                   so I took the day to rest                                                             ­                            I think it's time I hit reset                                                            ­                    change my whole mind set                                                              ­                   The sun came up anyway                                                           ­                            So I made some plans for the day                                                                         I needed to get up and get away                                                             ­keeping my demons at bay                                                              ­                        I decided to go for a walk                                                             ­                        It's time God and I had a talk                                                             ­            and just getting outside                                                          ­                      left me feeling alive inside                                                          Dear God,  thank you so much                                                             You  make me feel good enough                                                           ­                As  I stand in the sunlight                                                         ­                             I feel like I'm in your spotlight                                                        ­               You hear me every time I cry                                                              ­          you dry my tears now I know why                                                              ­      You  are the only person who                                                              ­           can make me feel  this brand new

I felt safe in my depression                                                       ­                          all black with no sharp edges

I see the narcissist in you                                                              ­                       so strategic in your moves                                                            ­     manipulated I Love You's                                                            ­                 used to pull me closer to you                                                                             So many secrets you couldn't tell                                                             ­      kept them hidden very well                                                             ­          While I was busy weathering the tide                                                                 it had kept the enemy by my side                                                             ­         You loved me from your ego and pride                                                 knowing I was your ride or die                                                                             I had to pull back on my emotions                                                         ­          step out of that turbulent ocean                                                            ­        God had blessed me discernment                                                      ­     pulled me from the riptide current                                                          ­   Regaining control of the true me                                                             opening up an ocean of possibilities

At night when I close my eyes                                                             ­               there are no songs, no lullaby's                                                        ­                    I transport myself and my mind                                                                         to a peaceful place and time                                                             ­                   to sooth myself to fall asleep                                                           ­                in hopes of having beautiful dreams                                                                  I imagine that I can fly                                                              ­                    envision it in my third eye                                                              ­                      I see the tree tops from the sky                                                              ­           The highest heights I can fly                                                              ­          when I spread my bird-like wings                                                            ­           I can see the world, everything                                                       ­                    flowers, leaves and greenery                                                         ­              I feel alive I feel at peace                                                            ­            as sleep washes over me

I am not getting any younger                                                          ­                                                                                                         ­                     but deep inside I still have a hunger                                                           ­      to live, love and dream                                                            ­                                  so many places to go                                                               ­                        so many people to know                                                             ­       with so much in between                                                          ­                     I don't want to live forever                                                                            and will never say never                                                            ­                        For only God knows my time                                                             ­                so no matter what you say                                                              ­        I'll cherish each day                                                              ­                             like it's the last day of my life

Lies can be told without words                                                            ­                   silence is still loudly heard