you told me “pain means progress,”
and now i hear you
in the ache of every muscle,
in the quiet burn that comes after trying.

not because we worked out together,
but because you said it once,
like it was nothing,
and it stayed.

and now,
when i run farther than i want to,
or breathe through the hurt,
i think of you.

not in some distant way.
you’re here.
you’re mine.
you’re the reason i don’t give up
even when it stings.

and maybe the idea is a little twisted,
but it reminds me that loving you
makes me stronger,
even if it hurts.

I was so beyond-boy-blissed out
So far gone on him
That I was meandering
In endless labyrinths
Of macho-soaked fantasies
Of his enchantingly dreamy handsomeness

He was so much more than splashy
Over-the-moon-and-beyond splashy
Send-me-to-the-stars splashy
Transport-me-to-euphoria splashy
Too smooth, too, too, too **** smooth to the max

With that dope-***, kick-*** vibe
That had me so wild about him
He had me high off his fire sauce
Calling out his name at 3 am

I was drenched in his majestic masculinity
His chest, glowing like the green trees, serene leaves,
And immense oceans that touched my soul
His beard was poetry I wanted
To feel, kiss, and never let go

I felt him in my bloodstream
In my veins with his gangbuster game
I hankered for him in so many ways
In lifetimes, in incomparable years
That shimmered in my mind