I'm here
but I'm always somewhere else

                                                                                                ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, I hate alarms:>

inspiration would never not be instantaneous

                                                                             --------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, may May write:?

not even sure if paper could tolerate me itself
am I welcome to comeback after placed on a dusty shelf?
------
left for the viewers to scan with their ***** sights
never thought shame would be printed upon them words I write

                                                                         ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, just as expected:>

to be continued in braille
no matter the cost no matter the bail
because if not, then the steps would fail
& them dreams of blue would fade & almost pale
in an almost
all in black of toast
a place that the devil couldn't boast
in a house of mine & ones before to ghost
all along all in time
as THE WORDS TO STAY WORDS in chime
for a sight to sour up as lime
& the sanity no more mine
backward & forth a climb
the bank collapses on the line
so what of a life is of a vine ?
lying
trying
then dying
to hold hands, with brain holders to dine
'good mornings' & 'good nights' creep down my spine
even worse
it's a curse
to say I'm good to say 'I'm fine'

                                                          ­                        -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, this number keeps haunting me---nice:]


spaced in faze spaced in shock

waiting for the hit of the clock upon us

jaded in here scattered in there

falling deeply into depths of despair

piles of threes and stashes in seven still unspoken fourteens

into the floors and walls of the magnificent heavens

count of one then a skip of a spree down

into curses of minutes in a bunch of twisted twenty threes


                                                                            ------ravenfeels

walk your walk over me
unbeknownst to my layers

                                                         ­                                       ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, the moon surface is dark---and my feels are darker<3

his smile
made her tears run in miles
his blond sun
made the ocean waves miss the tides of fun
the old vinyl
now feels on revival

                                                                                     ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, cold bot still bold:)

just a visit
lifts the limits
for the color of blood to become a stranger
now my hopes are all in danger
do I avoid the future be a savior?
do I souvenir the past a cinnamon flavor?
people you knew
not pictures the memory drew
like the bone failed it pains
to sustain
then in blink to be fractured drained
the mirror cries with me
but in my head laughs and mocked screams
now not my territory
maybe a new ceremony
me attending alone
counting stars and skipping stones
am I the weird one?
the dresses on the opposite borders not fitting
on that ferris wheel I stay sitting
the skied view more interesting than the far party track
staring at one piece when the museum is packed


                                                                                 -----ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, put old lines from different pieces and call it a poem:>


when fantasy is an exile from reality
our souls glide not exist
when the insensible is reasoned insensibly
our feelings become the blood flow itself on vessels knit

when we our found in a breathless surrounding somehow
our breathes are meaningful and we are blessed in
love on earth is some of what we imagined now
if we didn't find it on it we would have invented it

for the happiness is a factor
and the hope is hopeless without a smell of grace
so surreal of how the other's presence excludes the sad chapter
words on red cheeks become to faint in pace

the place empty on a canvas is painted
and the dark finds the light it never knew
after tongue pauses the say acquainted
to speak in stares that fill up the silence's hue

but fair is not fair for a reason
thoughts muffled like an invisible bottle of wine
the heart wins to a self mind treason
and the pearl burdens the ago better than a dime


                                                                                   -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, things can get brutal?:>



lost and found not seen not bound in the shackles of the bomb an aftermath

peroxiding a shoe hoping to get a flight out of the stew

no one knew

a chase a run a place no fun with bullets upon

in the known classes I see of drops of Mercury

behold bewined stand still in what you crime

hidden on those of the faces before

swept under the rug just for show

before the glint to come from below


                                                                        ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, in a someday maybe :)

they say 'time would preach revelation'
wrapping the Heart in a red bow to be seen
a once was oppressive dictator
forcing the bodies to an impulse to some beat
mystery in debate chimes
driving minds to the edge of their depletes
a loud state compelling with status
a killer on that shelf
to be then in a someday maybe
awed by me

                                                                                         ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, version three:)

fumbled with my thoughts
in hope of not being caught
yet that language does not belong
nor the humble intentions along

                                                                                         -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, just take a moment and appreciate the long journey that you've survived-it's the glory of a lifetime you can't sell nor buy;>


look how far have you gone

childish plays and dolls now all defined a woman grown

stars you wished upon did not shoot the shot you scored

yet gave you a lot than wisdom of twinkles and more

even better for a future of a strong self and bold

all those lonely nights in the lousy storms

turned out to be embraced by your daemons to a joyous old soul

one of a kind with struggles that no one knows to cherish to hold

ought for you to breathe and live and carry and mold

on your own blossomed and snowed

through summer bosoms and winters and highs and lows

through hells and heavens and sweet merciless hollows

anticipate in you a tomorrow of fruitful stores

things to save up for the upcoming open doors


                                                         ­                               --------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, from the confused consciousness

three years ago today,
I knew three languages
& the existence of poetry
today ago today,
I know poetry
& some existence of languages

all when
someday
the day stumbled imploring
in
red
blue
& yellow
not even stalling

I never wrote
I just let it slip in note
her wrinkles mocked me in the wry
so all in all I wondered why
did she even plan?
is she an 'is' to begin with?

I see the end, it is coming
just like she said, just like her humming
like the swallow of the oceans
like the potato peel scattered in notion
patterns
darkening lanterns

the night stumbled imploring
in
red
blue
& yellow
not even eventually
the photos burnt
and I kept the leaves

                                                   -----ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, once in October-----<>

once in fallen October
a yellow far than closer
maybe more red than what smells older

steps flashback to my death
when I tried to find my swept breath
maybe ten seconds left my world in mess
at the train station
still lost in words desperation
maybe why I yearn today even for hurt in fascination
broken feels hold
immortal memories remain unfold
maybe ringing phones would again shiver me in cold

in your stare
felt like I was there
maybe letters I missed from gazes tripping down the stairs
backs embrace
more than a lover's torn trace
maybe how sometimes I forget your face
when I swear to get rid to not show
my heart stops acting in slow
maybe longs paled my color once upon a time ago

never mine
older than wine
maybe a one tasted moment time
drained my soul and called me helplessly
see you living selfishly
maybe all in my head in hope of the real of my fantasy

maybe the don't leave was a mumble created
maybe honey drips cut like knives invaded
maybe sweet carries of lots an essence when devastated



                                                                                           -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, do you know what is more hurtful than missing a human???--missing a character from your dream--you can't even blame him in his face:\


met you last night in the gone

this will take a lot to be claimed to the bone

grinning crowns of versus been worn

to live to keep in those halls up torn

cold I keen shimmering in so dim so tight

a wholesome of neon light

elegant in blacks you trail you knight

a little too high

a little too low

way old for eyes to glow

sometimes loose sometimes harsh and stones

finally to me he saves approach

mesmerize and charm clasp arms and tease clarks

flying with you hell of a need a struck of a stark

know the way never minding no cry no pay

shoulder she presses

kisses she smolders

caressing bits n'pieces

a decay of something older no longer beholder

swoon her in brains

spread her in walls

in yellows and thunders always a smile

jarred well sworn to them all

swept to her feet

heart and soul

to your submit

I hate to admit

but things are lit

taste the rain

drown the pain

can't release your chain

in my sleep

your whispers seep

cut me so deep

from the pinkie touch

to the hold of the much

in the gazes unseen loud

in bet of middle of crowd

bring a right in your ignite of a strict detect

up taken so fished by your unbounding protect

get to you get to me

I struggle of these for you to be safe to see

foul me none not again

I fail dread in your essence

cant scribble cant write

things my heart wont come across a possible define

purple screams and black molds upon my wondrous

soul they dime and sore

not like others

heaven to you heaven to me

treat the lavishes then worship the envies

clot wounds gamble truths

just as nothing else I wont await no more

traced here

known where

forever in my heart

your place bewares

a necklace to the angels

to you took to you sold to you you win

take me forever

in the bordeaux I'm covered

already missing you

got me on clouds loving you

                                                                                       ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, colors can talk too;>


it is in that exquisite essence on the back

that shivering sensation the veins in my feels lack

hearts appeal for them beats to unite in one track

fine lined my life in one trace in one blind attack

paint my sight into a favorite color of winter black


                                                         ­                    ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, I know it's not just me:?

at the end of the day man is bound to that feeling of being lonely
the one that would devour his head severely yet slowly
maybe he's within the surroundings all through & in between
maybe he's already eaten into grounds he saw & yet hasn't seen
but eventually you are a mind & a mouth at the same
whoever you were wherever you are no matter your name
or maybe that's just me three a.m. in my bed
or maybe a reason is just blamed rather than said
or maybe that's just us the ones living in our heads
or maybe the mind convinces so not to end up mad instead
the lonely truth of the pathetic human thread you carry somehow
ironically holds an expiry date even that one you thought of now

                                                            ­                        ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, somethings are not what they seem to be:|


another me another you

now I don't know what to do

I wanna shred my lungs and splinter my blood

tear my eyes and spill the hidden tears that can't seem to flood

I imagine you in characters that I read

so pathetic and shameful of the things I plead

once upon a poisoned naïve time

I breathed a breath and said it'll be once---what a crime??!!

turned out to be a humiliation to that humble soul pride

blame myself for that ****** day I bled my soft side

lately in the dead she solely glides


                                                        ­                          ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, somethings I just couldn't stop writing about:)


steps echoed down the stairs bringing a wild relief to his blare

approach of silence to regret the resilience

of an unspoken battle of illicit stares in defiance

embrace of warmth heartens the overdosing serenity

hold of love for the first time in months

bringing safe havens to my desperate soul magnificently


                                                                                         ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, the truth unfolds in the realization of the LOATHE...

I never understood why
on the first of June
you insisted we each read our
reserved lines
individually
specifically
until now
the concept of curating the ways of the hows
of which our sufferings
came within us
came around
to come about
I saw it today
the blocking
is it okay?
is it too late?
to comprehend the body language of a scene
I couldn't proceed to understand and
the way I see it now
is that we've each revealed ourselves
somehow
without even knowing
and our frail exposure
shall never compete
the duality
the soliloquy
with the double perspectives at hand
for the cage of ours
was your art at a one time
stance
there, still I stand
              
                                            ­                                                ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, sometimes strangers can become the holders of our deepest secrets:>



awaited so long so vast to confess a blurt out a must say

that my hopes came to the ultimate settle to the unspoken overwhelm of this May

hurdled in my lap like a shiny relief anticipation

hidden doors under that rag to a whole new brilliant creation

never have I ever came to express to redeem a share

in a chaotic crowd in a room for that daemon monster flare

bare me the tears

been shed been dear on the angel

on that blanket that saint of the painful

don't get this wrong it was a cry of surreal

of a friendship that I dreamt of a cherish

for those pure souls to come to an emotional peel


                       ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, insult salted the injury--- that was a bad day<


maybe wounds are sold
do you mean that insult can't salt injuries to a pathetic fault?
warn the poor never the guilt as it
wish the idiotic I put the limit
stepped the humiliation right out
silenced like a charity drought
now lacked it is yet still manageable
killed in the **** core when tangible
warn foolish fingers
an incoming the tremble syndrome
now secrets are whispered blind devils shrink in hinders
a car ride rains a billion on a thinker
watch me tested as God demands
lost in translation for what a paper does
and I simply don't understand
take the gesture I can't for a billion pays you see
made me squirm more like a forsaken sun in 2018


                                                          ­         ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, I'm not a poet:)


a poet is an artist in cursive

a painter with one palette

an actor with a wary expression

a sculptor with ***** hands

a dancer with a broken bone

a musician with a mysterious ear and symphonious look

in common

what we create

is a glorious masterpiece in the eyes of millions

yet the creator is never satisfied

and the flaws in the rusted diamond is defied

looking for a define

left for the mind to eat

and the heart to fight

but presented otherwise unjustified
  


                                                                                      -----ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, away-----

the struck of the purple
of that moon
took me back somewhere
defining a reason
I forgot its season sometime
away
how could you forget your beliefs
in a once was a faith of the fell out leaf
fell out of feels

normally
I'd let the leaf
breathe
I'd let the leaf leave
normally
I'd let the sea
weep
I'd let the sea see
normally
I'd leave the leaf to the breeze
let the breeze be in ease
know that it can see
then I'd see the sea
to its seize
let the seize see ease
know that it can see

now that the moon sees
the moon holds on to the ease
the moon blinds the transparency of that sea
seizes the scene
from the leave of the leaf's left weep
it weeps a purple tear
reminiscing to its once faith in shear
the cold breeze swoons its feels
& there is no pupil left to its iris's belief

                                                                                            ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, nice day:>


to be rich is to notice the fair from the unfair
give no judge to wisdom from the first stare
but not on the Earth thing
the brutality royal flushes and stings

now I fear
that someday that wheel is put to gear
put the cursed paper
on a thorny throne later

afraid my nose would sniff the skies
afraid my hopes would tear my early rise
afraid my greed would bury my shame
afraid my humor would be trashed in lame

not for me
a jeopardizing frisbee
my tarnished house warmer than a fancy chimney
promise my dreams in purple
faithful to myself would never be a hurdle


                                                                                       ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, let them talk---not even hearing;->


as if they talk

like to a fault they swirl to get a may

as if they walk the walk

like its not in me for this day
                            

                                                                              ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, with eyes closed :maybe<

My eyes scan as I read back
an understanding to those feels I lack
I do know the time
yet time itself can be not mine

My eyes scan as I read back
& I wish a recognition of the black
I surrender to the rhymes
even though all in vain all a deaf chime

My eyes scan as I read back
perplex contained in me or am I contained in its attack?
titles remind me of lots
so what does it mean in sixty years when my mind's in knots?

                                                         ­                           ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, on the verges of spring:)


not all about that
yet all about me
the sleights redeemed too flat
taking things slowly

my stance
out of that delusional hand
still the intro of that kingdom dance
shook the sight demolishing one land

that debatable glance
the spark of something so vivid
scratched the hint of a chance
not my story & still not a person of livid

yet the better
some women listening to her weather in impact
yet delivering their letters
& they get a hold of a glorious contrast


                                                                              ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, the faint of the heart is the vision of blood on a love's dart:-/

mine to love
like a broken bottle of wine trickling from above
mine to lose
the death of leaves with an odor to choose

nerve visions times of sadness
like books left unread and ghosts of madness
the radio silences the alone
the heart of blood grew a heart of bone

speaks in gazes
like a reach of hands before a car crash embraces
stares in orange roses
the lost up space the past dream exposes

all too well prefer rivers not seas
like when the window winds shuffled with car keys
green grass shades and shields
the depressing autumn can be the golorious of all fields

bestest trees of lights in luminaire
like the colors of stolen Augusts and the Jupiter
before the shot of a wounded summer
the listen of violens and the heard bird hummer

now empty lines on empty pages
like a no remember of the highlights of the faces
with the drawn pencil a smoking scent evoked
expressions painted in coffee and lost letters in the cold  


                                                        ­    -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, follow your dreams or they will<3


fed up on the revolt of the real

locked myself behind the dreamy doors to an an evermore of a seal

I seek you on the delves of the stormy spaces

it's like a universe I called came back with answers to shock faces

your name I heart you speak and led lights illuminate it

sparked on my heart when duty calls I fade in

                                                                                          -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, I mean it's June, sooo......& Lucy is not technically a person.(& I never put full stops).

the consistency in the inconsistency is shredding me.
'Lucy' a shadow in the 'want' & the 'don't want' to be.
the pillow drains of thoughts.
bringing something I couldn't even think would be brought.
& the feels won't conquer this anger of the streets.
going back is like going straight forward to the old me in feet.
all in the fear of the one & only timeless zone.
for the same circulation of that never three scooped ice cream cone.
kindness fails to be alone.
& the soldier is tickled from the first bullet in bone.
the hold on to the moon being diluted to a loop of endlessly.
dilapidation of these walls_ not in sleep _in reality.
so enough of odd numbers becoming even.
since every vertebrae is crying & screaming.
& so far it's draining as ****.
to think of the infamous fate of every single buck.
----------------
.because it doesn't end.

                                                           ­                    ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, my heart aches for the wounds:\


is it when a matter is in the faults???

the puts of the words and the spits of the secrets

moon I swore the hells to I would never say loud

it's like the repressed in her

in her stashes

her hidden ashes dancing in the rests

fearing of the miss

of the outs of the mists

too much of bliss or not

deprivation an official ****

when my chest aches

blessed with the silence

cursed with those disgusting chaos of a waste

transforms to the addicting

an incredulous taste

menaced to me on her fazes she spills

psychotic on the egos what is this???

drown me in an ocean of misery

won't matter as much of the mockery


                                                       ­                       ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, I stopped for a glare--then regretted the unfair:)


up on high

still feels they glide

inflicted on the mind

no fear no mercy in the blinding neon stinging light

already alone summoned my end

no upon that seat I nursed I wish to bend

look for far in the eyes that chaotic that ray

a crowd I leave in its uneven may

on my finger tip

a better fate for them to sit


                                                                           ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, the burdens that we hold are for our backs to curve years of wisdom---to reach peace:}


hard for me to express

the things you left in me are in mess

the buildings so high scared to my *******

believed things come now to their bests

acceptance of the unknown faces that bloom on the yellow stairs

moments I found it a burden to bare

then you another ranger in those brown tiles

made me drink that blue liquor made me smile

laughter in the wooden walls I will uncover soon

even when the visits brought a past gloom

searching is something I was meant to do on those borders

never will I know or remember unless I read the folders

feel the flies in the green lands

a tingle plastered on the hands

but nothing more than that stance you ******

put a lot of grace because of a simple caring lace

is it okay if this while took a late

that mere second has been stuck written on my fate

those arms gambled with my noes

even though a little lie

didn't hurt

didn't go

far from the beyonds

that red sweater

a path to the wallpaper

to the given weather


                                                                                  -------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, happy endings do not exist seems such':"


MOON
living am I ?
dreaming am I ?

those eternal flowers I sang for
not sure that once they became a past before

gave me the numb
but that's a feel try the empty sum

ride the winds surf the waves
survive a disbelief a miracle save

edge of persuasion for the night scene
selling a mirror some cheap steam

when did lasts come with no strive ???
like marine revolting on a tepid dive

a million burdens in hindsight say
yet awoken useless hells of away

is bliss the calm pre sin ???
a keep or a prize to pass by a temporary win

harder evasions into moments of surreal
now bribe me some moon to sign a deaf deal


                                                                       ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, change an expensive new page:|


the supposed
dealt a past to show
regret heat like ice
proved again the mad world diced
legs pretentious
hands luxurious
change
an expensive new page
even but odd
white with a black dot
not the same
memories different taste
stairs dusted with gold
prefer the dilapidates of the old
heights skied thrown
made me short in ago
no track of trees
for their people not the kid in me
graffiti walls misshaded my colors in vain
ached to the smell of the comforting plain
lost myself in nature
miss the nature in me a wild flavor
green lawn muffled cries
laughter of strangers away lies
travel in time
but the clock not mine
night memories flood in veins and dive
painted stars up---the daylight dims and hides
wish a come back to the undone feels
awoke four years in no permission in steal
answers disconnected
fought confusion and blended
hearts alone in the dark to pay
maybe awaiting the longed stark on that Saturday
  


                                                                      ------ravenfeels

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, when you wish upon a star
your dreams come true-Cliff Edwards---do they? :>


remember when you called us quits too soon
one year later in a **** same room
all the blacks and whites grayed out a little on me
but never returned the woods in thousand dreams

remember when you took that hug in a theft
burned the station down and couldn't hear a left
but things a carry a chocolate cake would never cut
all so small to you but me just a single much

remember when the ice we clanged and freed
even the cold I've missed the day you chose a fleeing cheat
all the hours and runs we held the hands and lilac
but I know again a no more a wont come back

remember the dark ages we bled and rhymed
cared and favored out on every other than not crime
all the shadows and hunts tracing the midnight sky
but the stars would never forget a lover's align

but my heart and soul would never know to draw a line
but my nights and getaways would never dim a dime
but my soul can't erase veins on violin classic chimes
but-------------------------------------------------------­-----------

                                                                            ------ravenfeels