Written by BJ Donovan

We bought a broken dog
and took him to our broken home
to live with this broken family.
We tried to fix him with broken
training. I was too broken to get
it right. The more I yelled the more
broke we got. I had a drunken insight
one evening walking him in a full moon.
He reminded me of me in my childhood.
I saw things through our broken eyes
and held him close. I promised I'd fix us.
He saved us both from broken lives.

If it sounds insane it's true.
   The shark is in the goldfish bowl.
   Killers swarm our picnic field and
   **** the enemy where we had lunch
   a year ago and ****** marriage vows
   and promised 'til death parted us.
   Today we're on a rail car to a camp.

Your perfume on the pillow
    is the only thing you left.
    My life's taking on water
    I just want to drown all the pain.
    Things have a way of working out?
    Sommerville and Harvard Square,
    Mass Ave, Boston you were there
    your Aphrodite I ate my share,
    you naked in the public square.
    This is what I am, a broken man.

The war was won the men came home
   broken but ready to fill the cradles
   and cry on the shoulders that matter
   and smell of the remembered perfume.
   They spent the venom into wombs to
   bring buddies back from ugly deaths.

Rough edged saw of a man.
What a way with words you had.
Blue collar barfly a smoke in lips
put us all in the places we know,
where we feel comfort after all.
Our uncles smell of ***** and
aunts always favor aperitifs
in the afternoons then naps.
Being honest we all crawl in
bars when things fall apart and
we just need comfort of friends
we just met that very day.

There we were sitting on bar stools
side by side and talking about women
and the way they smell. Some earthy and
some flowers and some like stale *****.
We told sick jokes and remembered good
old days when men were fierce and girls
were gentle and tamed their beasts.
We parted. He paid my tab. Yellow teeth.
I remember his laugh. It was sincere.
I stumbled out drunk but he walked sober.

You're my 4th wife but
I'm dead now and your
in the plot next to me.
We loved hard at the start
and lived flaccid after.
I broke all the hearts.

We burn bridges.
We burn us in effigy.
We burn crosses with
no feelings of anger
just ignorant as sheep.
We burn brightest in love
and kindness we share.
We burn to ashes at the
world's end facing
fierce fire together
exiting this paradise we
surrender to the flames.

Never mind a suit. I want to
be warm and comfortable
for my eternal B&B.
Drop a pint of Guinness
in the box and a pack of ****.
I won't need any matches.

Rest easy my loves. I'm at peace.
    I wish that I could take your pain
    and bury it with me. After all
    it's my fault that you feel so bad.
    I never complained in life and I
    swear to God I won't whine in death.
    No more aches and pains. The old corpse
    lies in a hole. My spirit soars above!

Roadmap to painless suffering.
Do penance for just being born
through a birth canal into Coney Island
where everything is fun
and Leave it to ****** Church
gives ****** for communion.
Embrace the fog and forget you
ever doubted. Drive your bus.
Deliver us all to our evils.
Punch transfers to mortal sins.

Roadmap to painless suffering.
Do penance for just being born
through a birth canal into Coney Island
where everything is fun
and Leave it to ****** Church
gives ****** for communion.
Embrace the fog and forget you
ever doubted. Drive your bus.
Deliver us all to our evils.
Punch transfers to mortal sins.

Life goes on.
Not as good.
Still it breathes
wonderful life and
we can still touch and
kiss and god help us
be a man and woman
nearly die out of breath
but survive for tomorrow.
We'll live like this forever.

I feel like I'm the last soul alive.
Can anybody hear me? Am I
the only drunk man on Earth?
Once we were lovers but now
you live in a shaded grave.
You always had the best.
Why won't they answer me?
Calling all stations...

Gangs of doctors a
hundred patients deep,
cancer is the currency
dying in their sleep.
We don't make promises.
We ask your permission.
Sign the waiver. There's
no cure maybe remission?
Promise us that you'll
always take your pill.
Most importantly arrange for
loved ones to pay your final bill.

I need to be pinned on your cross
like a specimen kept under glass
to bear witness to political victims
like Julian Assange who speak truth
to power and crawl ****** to Golgotha.

If I kiss the ring
will I be a thing?
I just want rules
so I'm not a fool.
I'll dance faster
for the Master.
Is it Eliot York?
Timetabled dork?
Do I need to find
a place more kind?

Uh Oh!
The monsters back in town
slow burn alcohol stove
keeps its water boiling
ready to blow this place
to hell any minute now.

I hate myself for wanting you.
Wrong is such an aphrodisiac.
The price is steep but brass rings
are in reach once in lifetimes and
your beauty leaves me no choice.
The deed will leave me catatonic.

At war with my soul for years
  since I was an innocent child.
  Born with original sin, never
  had a chance with a stacked deck.

  Seven deadly sins my enemy.
  After puberty under constant
  barrage of heavy artillery.
  Pleasure can't breach ramparts!

  Maps useless, terrain unrecognized,
  Holy water torrents destroy minds,
  drive men insane with guilt.
  We crawl to confession seeking

  a place in line to heaven.  All
  we see is the horror of this war
  waged against us in our innocence.
  We can never forgive ourselves.

  We find salvation in ******, beer,
  cigarettes, Xanax, coke, ******.
  Numb our conscience until we wake.
  Take it from the top one more time.

I was a catholic schoolboy, altar boy
  totally against abortion. I knocked up
  a cheerleader who still blows bubbles.
  I took her to planned parenthood. We
  lost our problem and were given condoms
  we don't use because we want to be close.

Ice cubes ring like church bells in my drink.
     I smell incense like the altar boy I was.
     I drink Christ's Chardonnay blood from a chalice.
    
     Celibacy is much easier than sexually complex
     relationships with jealousy and doubt and *******
     measuring the success or failure of a marriage.

Death and taxes.
Love and broken heart.
Right and wrong blur.
We fall into rabbit holes.
We love Alice to death.
I am the Cheshire Cat.

Time
Space
Gravity
Appetites
Addictions
Scars
Broke bones
and hearts
History
Trapped in a body
Caged in a mind

He's had a complex life.
Chance is his name and
his twin sister is Charlie.
They were adopted by a
couple but the husband
left after 6 months and
the mom lost her mind.
The grandparents brought
the chicks into their nest
and are nurturing and
loving and I wish I'd
been raised there by them.

Where the slaves were auctioned is
      a market selling trinkets to fools
      who don't understand why the black
      man who carries their bags to their
      rooms won't look them in the eye and
      thanks them for the tip and dismissal.

Birkenstock's and halter tops
no bras no rules free love
drink acid from a tea cup
go naked chase the dove
smoke hash eat Quaalude's
understand my carnal stain
We met at Woodstock and
****** it out in all the rain.

I was young and lost. I was
unable to keep up when he
went in the bank. I saw him
leaving across the street and
ran after him and a car hit me
and broke my heart and leg.
He was the god I disappointed,
the man I was always chasing.

I've chased love over and over
like a dog chasing ***** in a field.
I have it in my jaw and drop it at
her feet. She just throws it again.
There are always more dogs than
hearts being thrown in our midst.

I want pleasure. Don't hate me.
Feeling good feels so good if
it's done right, but be careful.
Tread gently in this minefield.
Don't become a slave to desires.
Never get addicted. Just hold
the devil's tail loose and let go.
Abstain for a month to make
**** sure you haven't been
swallowed by his hell on earth.

I met the Cheshire cat in
Wonderland chasing Alice
and it disappeared until
I scratched its ear and it
stayed reappeared and
meows in my cups.

Butcher of the poor in black hoods.
  The projects destroy futures for most.
  Stacker of bodies, stormy, brawling, cruel.
  City of bully's with big shoulders.
  They say you are wicked and I know.
  You are fierce as a mad dog foaming
  through white teeth, tongue lapping,
  laughing as a young man laughs
  under the terrible burden of living.
  He cries stunned as his blood spills.

I have to hold you by your edges
    careful not to smear your makeup,
    not to muss your hair, ruin lipstick.
    You are my porcelain china doll.
    I'm your curator. Look but don't touch.
    I'll keep you perfect forever.

Christ doesn't live in a gold box.
    He lives within all our miseries.
    He lives in the slums and prisons,
    grungy dive bars and crack houses.
    
    His body is stale bread from soup kitchens.
    His blood is cheap wine shared on city grates.
    He offers hope to the hopeless and guidance
    to the lost souls. He suffers inside each of us.

4 am we kids are on the stairs
eager to see our bounty in the
living room. We've waited all
year and we might explode if
Mom and Dad don't let us see.
I'll die for your secret garden
an entrance into Eden at last.
In tall grass we surrender our
precious innocense and create
our **** all your rules child.
We always played at love but
the kids are the ones who pay.

I wander at 3 am in the city.
I don't sleep anymore.
I feel society's fingers on
my throat choking me silent.
I want to tell the world
about my little life that
means so much to me and
about my generation sitting
on a hill looking down on
the city lights. We howl
so anyone still listening
will know the pack waits.

We were all so full of bravado. Graduates.
  40 years later the class reunion reminisce.
  Fat jocks in wrinkled skin and jowls talk of
  tackles and blocks and winning passes back then.
  Winners and losers are on display.
  I can't face the flesh of the memories.

We blushed at the memories of passion
  from the years we were still hopeful.
  We're old fat people who fear time's
  unyielding brutality. I stare at name tags
  but wander among wreckage stunned by
  how close life flys to death day to day.

I was desperately drunk and desperately in love.
    I made promises I wouldn't keep. She invited me
    into her garden. I ate forbidden fruit. Nirvana!
    Pains, doubts, anxieties, fears gone instantly.

    The morning after had a sour taste.
    God and priest and nun and catholic world
    collided with our promised land of love.
    We stayed drugged with flesh and defiance.

    Pregnant, we were married in the Church.
    We had our daughter and a son soon after.
    I wish lust didn't fade with time.
    I wandered and became a ******* cliche.

I'm a forgone conclusion
    and an empty promise.
    My words fail to inspire.
    My loves are always lost.
    Trouble always finds me.
    Read between the lines and
    find the real me with you
    inside my heart on my sleeve.

They bully us constantly to
be at a place and time or else.
tic tock seconds we race to please
the clocks we fear as they snap
whips and rule the fools we are.
We live years and die in seconds.

Come closer into the light.
  I need to smell your beauty
  to quiet demons in my head.
  God's tears cleanse our souls.
  Come closer still, touch me,
  calm my tremors still my hands.
  Closer hold me closer and we'll
  transcend broken in our world.
  Dance closer, watch the stars.
  Hear death's music ever closer.

I've been in this dim bar for hours.
Everyone is more beautiful as we dance
and laugh and all fall in love at once.
Last call and the lights go up and we
step off the roller coaster and step out
to the streets and broken hearts again.

Zoot suit, straight jacket, Tuxedo.
We are what we wear.
Rock, paper, scissors.
Hoodlum, insane, sophisticated.
Prison, asylum, penthouse.
*****, *****, ****.

I'm a clown dressed in a suit
in a circus tent on Wall Street.
We'll take sucker bets all day
and spin our webs all night.
You'll leap out windows and
we'll cash our chips and laugh.

5am we crowd in the rickety cage
   to take us down to hell's cold entry
   into the mines. We stoop and dig
   claws into the rock to drag coal
   into the carts we roll to a rich
   man's greed and we end our days
   in poor man bars swallowing the
   dust into our angry hearts where
   we keep score and wait for God.
   We sleep with our sacred wives.

I'm 70 and still work the mines
to feed my soul and family.
It's all I have to hold onto.
My coal face is cracked like
the rocks we fight each day.
My friends are mostly dead
from black lung and cave ins.
I toast them with a shot
each night in my empty bed
and pray for death tomorrow.

I see everything in black and white.
Black man, white man, shades of grey
spells the end, my friend. I always
loved you and I'll miss us gone.
We crossed the color divide and
God ****** died for it.

It struck without warning.
   Find a bathroom. Too late.
   My body betrayed me and I
   was horrified as it flooded
   pants and shoes and aisle 8.
   Adult diapers were top shelf.

*** is the most beautiful and natural
  and necessary thing we do but treat
  it like a ***** film at a kid's party.
  Sister take your habit off and dance.
  Bishop drop your drape and shimmy.
  Naked we come and naked we leave.

I was lost inside myself. I was at
  a casual party, loud music and beer
  and some tiny madness tugging at my
  mind all day. My life was broken on
  rocky shores where lives perish.
  I walked naked from the bathroom.
  They were overdressed while I was
  the only one to come as you are.
  Only that not understood
  is truly irresistible.