I don’t know about
The state of the world
And I do know
That
Deep within me
Sits one
Who is ill prepared
For
This world
She shakes with fear
She is pale
And she is terrified
To come out
Into
The ugly world
She sees herself
In
She sits
Buried within
Waiting
For safety
Which
For her
Will never come

Fear
Real
Raw
Rising in the body
Debilitating
Restrictive
In form
Keeping us from reaching
Our
True destiny

Fear
Incomprehensible
Limiting
Behavior following
That creates
Both darkness
And light

Fear
Another way of saying
That we are
Vulnerable
And no longer
Invincible
In an
Ever changing world
Of destruction
And rebuilding

Fear
Powerlessness
Inability to move forward
Stops us
In our tracks
And
Can lead
To
Destruction
Of self
Disclosure
And awareness

Fear
I have
And
I release
For in that fear
Lies decades
Of
Emotional upheaval
That dominate
Our being

Rising above the fear
Gives us the vantage point
Of future

Fear
I bask in you
For you bring
Awareness
Of self
And possibility

Why do I
Listen to other people
When my heart tells me differently

Why do I think
That others know better
Than I do

Why is my belief in myself
So tainted with unreliable
And indifference

When will I
Start owning
That
I am
OK

Life never seems to be
As I thought it would
Planning, examining, thinking
And finding out all is for naught
A different trajectory
Into a land
I know not
Finding footing
On ground that
Is in constant
Motion
Weaving and falling
Into experiences
That I have little
Practice of
And I pick myself up
And keep on going

Slaughtering an animal, sacrificing the self
This is the kind of life we should want for our self
We give up that which no longer suits us
We try to let go without any fuss
We sacrifice to spirit we sacrifice to self
We try to remain humble in spite of our wealth
We offer to G_d what we’d like to become
We hope in the end we will become just as one
We consecrate and present our weaknesses and flaws
We go down to our core and become very raw
And come right back up in strength and in truth
And come back as empty as when we were youth
We open let go wholeheartedly being
We become as we should our soul we are freeing
We live our ideal, belief and our end
As a message to self we are trying to send
Be pure and live truth be righteous and whole
Going back to creator should be our true goal
Offer and sacrifice be present in mind
And the truest gift of life you will surely find
Be grateful for all for which you are given
And for that which is human you will surely be forgiven
Korban means to draw near as surely we’re meant
As we reach our true goal which will be our ascent

Today
I am letting go of all I was
And making room
For something new
The space feels clear
And bright
With new adventures
And possibilities

An open door
Possibility
Of letting in
A new way
Of seeing the world
Endless chances
To renew
Self
And find
Self

What is it
That makes the most
Of every
Opportunity
Moving one along
A path
Of enriched living
What is it
That creates
And moves self
To be more
Than they
Thought they were
What is it

Sitting
In confusion
Not knowing
My direction
I stop
And look around
Into unknown territory
I wait
Hoping to be guided
And nothing comes
So
I step
Into
The
Abyss

Weird feelings in my body
Weird feelings in my mind
I don’t quite know what’s happening
I’m feeling kind of blind
It’s like a sense of forebode
And sense to stay quite still
I can’t describe what’s happening
Something’s going against my will
Clarity is what I need
Understanding is what I want
It’s like my body and mind
Are talking in a different font
So how do I make sense
Of this quagmire and unknown
Is it something I need to throw out
Or something I need to own
I guess I need to sit
For a while or maybe two
Until I understand
What it is I need to do

Welcome my child
What can I say
You’ve come into the world
And are here to stay
I welcome you
With all my love
For you are a gift
From up above
I’ll hold you and clean you
And keep you all warm
I’ll make sure to protect you
Through any storm
For you are the child
To which I gave birth
Through my body
I brought you to Earth
I’ll watch as you grow
Encourage your smile
I’ll hold your hand
Through every trial
And one day you too
Will become a mother
And know that you also
Are like no other

I am drowning
In sadness
Unable to understand
Where this pain
Is coming from
It is real
Authentic
Limitless
Perhaps
Just perhaps
It comes from a longing
For my self
Is this what angst feels like
I reach out
And feel the emptiness
Of life
Nothing has any meaning
Emptiness
Loss
Uncertainty
Of what is to
Become
Of
Me

Each morning
I do the same thing
I follow a pattern
And that makes me
Feel safe
Because
When I don’t know
What my day holds
I get nervous
And question
My life
And feel empty
Like I have no goal
And life purpose
So
As long as
I keep on schedule
I know
Where I’m going
Or
Maybe I am truly lost

Beauty can mean so many things
A wind, a rose, some butterfly wings
Some people use colour while others decline
Some people use music while others use wine
For some it’s collections of things that they love
For others it’s guidance from those up above
For me beauty is simple it’s minimal it’s less
Take away all the clutter let go of the mess
A clean mind a simple mind helps me to think well
For me having nothings is really quite swell
Add in a few items and stress starts to build
Take them away again and I’ll be really quite thrilled
So decorators don’t thrill me and styles fade away
A peaceful demeanor and less makes my day

What is a poem
If not a voice
What are the words
Without meaning or source
What is a line
If it doesn’t move on
And what is a rhyme
If the work is undone

I look for a poem
It has been a while
Since words have come to the page
And I was wondering to where
I had gone ‘way again
And why it was so hard to stay
Sometimes my poems
Come from a place inside
That is deep and has so much meaning
And I feel from the core
That my words are much more
Than placates and speeches are seeming
So I’ve come back again
To find words to explore
And I think I have made it here sane
And I sit and I ponder
On the depth of my wander
And I welcome me back
Again

June into July
The time’s passing fast
Soon all we do
Will be in the past
We think we’re important
And what we do counts
Yet all our actions mount
In karmic accounts
Reflective of who
And what we do now
All that we sow
We will reap with a plow
Discern and be thoughtful
Watch your words and your thoughts
Or your life will become
A game of follow the dots
Be considerate and kind
Come from compassion not hate
For at the end of times
All your deeds you will rate
I know you think now
That my words are in vain
But it’s your life and your soul
That will be marked with a stain
Go forward in love
Love all that you meet
So when you come home
Your pure soul you will greet

What is sadness
But the tearing from asunder
The thought of who we are
Into what we have become
The recognition that
We have facades upon facades
Of who we wish we were
Instead of
Who we are
We fight so hard to become
Only to find out
That we are not
Who we would like to be
And will never be
Because
The truth is that
We cannot be
That which is not
That which is beyond us
The truth lies
In finding out
Who we are not
And then discovering
That
We always were

Minsan gusto kong magsulat
Sa isang wika
Maliban sa aking sarili
At makita
Paano ito
Mukha

Sometimes I want to write
In a language
Other than my own
And see
How it
Looks

I am that
Which I was meant to be
Only
I don’t believe
My truth
I try to find reasons
To be more
Than I am meant to be
Negating myself
And all that I
Have achieved
If I could only
See myself
In my True Light
Then
Maybe I could accept
All of me

I used to be
Alone
Living by myself
Taking care of all
My own needs
And then
We met
And things were thrown
Off balance
And
I wanted to make it
A forever time
And we did
And now
As I lie beside
This wonderful
Person that I love
I wonder
Who I am
As this new relationship
Grows

Silence prevails
My favourite time of day
Pure Solitude

Transition is just a word
That describes growth
And change
We grow and we learn
And we exist
In a quagmire
Of change
And
transition

It’s been awhile since I wrote words
And thoughts upon the page like turds
Of nasty memories of things abide
From which I lived, and could have died

First body reminds us of the pain
Of which we no longer want to go to again
And then emotions from eyes do flow
Upon black wings of an eager crow
We yell and scream to get it out
These are authentic, not just a pout
And to a paper we run to scratch
Expressions, emotives, put on a  patch
And deeper in we try to go
And many times the road is slow
But travel we do on our journey home
Many steps forward on which to roam

When all is said and done and gone
We come back better, it’s not a con
For consciousness comes and mind is stilled
And peace and calm on which we build
A new understanding of life on which
We can live in the now and found a nitch

Life is lived in pain and sorrow
And joy and laughter in which we borrow
To rise again to new heights of Grace
Our authentic self to live and face

I used to think that life was just an everlasting game
I thought I could do anything and still remain the same
And slowly slowly I did learn that living can be hard
I learned to move through life with joy while letting down my guard
I learnt that I had something rare, a gift that I could share
A love that came from deep inside and started with a prayer
That God would find me worthy of the gifts that he could give
That I could share this deep found love, forget and to forgive
To accept, find compassion, and unconditional love, to move forward on a path
To know that I reap what I sow with no lasting aftermath
I’m here to end my karmic debt, be of service, become a one
To know both self and Over soul, to end what I’ve begun
To step out on the path of life with happiness and joy
To find both purpose  and  authentic meaning and become the real mccoy
For living truth is higher than just moving right along
In finding higher purpose I can dance and sing a song
And share what I have learnt in life and continue to go on
Trust in the Lord who’s merciful until the day I’m gone

Everything feels so real
In my dreams
I can be anyone and anything
I can soar with the birds
And walk on the seas
I can show courage
And great defeat
I run from nothing
And am there to help
I am so much more
In my dreams
And yet
It is not real
Or is it?
Which is real
And which the illusion?

How odd it is
That in the not knowing
Wisdom emerges
And takes us by the hand
And leads us to our tomorrow
Without
Our
Even knowing

Is life really
All I think it is
Can I truly make a difference
Like others tell me
Why am I here
The neverending question
Of who we are
And why

Oh my goodness
It’s that time again
When I have to pay bills
And I feel the drain
It’s like all that paying
Really has no end
The money goes in
And I quickly spend
The bills pile up
I can’t buy more
Or my husband will send me
Right through the door
How do all you others
Keep up the pace
Paying bills and saving
In this crazy rat race
Would barter be easier
Save a penny or two
So much to understand
I wish I knew
So I’ll keep up the pace
As best I can
And focus on freedom
In this very life span

So long it’s been
Since I have written
A poem
For I have been living
Life
It its
Effulgent beauty
And
Destruction
I have been learning
And living
And dying
And I am more
Than I was
Yesterday
And less than I will be
Tomorrow

What is it
That creates hatred
In the hearts
Of humans
What is it
That makes one want to
Go out and ****
Another human being
How can we ever
Reach the hearts
And minds
Of those
Who have lost
Their compassion
And humanity

Life has no meaning
Without love
A continuous quagmire
Of not knowing
Until the right equation
Of feeling held
And knowing love
I sit in the space
Of reaching in
And knowing
The true authentic
Meaning
Of love

A little bit of onion
A slice of cheese or two
I wonder where this is going
Will I end up in a stew
My mouth is very watery
My nose is twitching so
My taste buds are so grumbly
Where will this poem go
It’s important to remember
Just where our food comes from
Will it make my tummy happy
Or will I come out really glum
First please think of farmers
Who are growing all our food
Next give thought to helpful people
Who can be very shrewd
The food is grown the pickers pick
It needs to come together
Who is it that brings everything
Together no matter the weather
The growers the pickers the gathering crowds
The cooks the packers the stuff
Have all got to work together
So that we have enough
And don’t forget the travelers
Who brings things all to store
They carry they unpack they place the food
And even do much more
Did you ever think about all this
How food comes to your house
It takes much more than before you knew
And don’t forget your spouse
Who buys who cleans who prepares for you
So you can do your thing
If you’re lucky that person may indeed
Begin to dance and sing
Our stomachs may enjoy our meals
From taste to satisfy
But heart is where you want to be
If you want to reach the sky
So taste and satisfaction
Can come to us sometimes
But the love of a good friend
Can really toss up our enzymes
So all these words must mean something
Or this poem wouldn’t have be written
Be kind be loving be thoughtful and true
And you’ll find yourself so smitten

Can we ever really know
Ourselves
Basking in the radiance
Of what we want to be
Hoping that we can change
That which is
I wonder
What life could truly be
If all we wished for
Came through
And life was lived in Truth
And all around me
There would be
Stillness
And peace
What could life be
If it was not
What
It is

Sitting deeply within my emotions
I wonder what exists
Beyond the ME
That I know
Is there more to life
Than that which we can see
Is there life beyond our existence
In this netherworld
Of chaos
I wonder

How are you doing
And what’s up
Checking in
Before I sup
How’s the weather
Taking walks
Stopping by
Having talks
The world is changing
Moving fast
I hold on tight
And feel the past
Don’t know where
I’ll be tomorrow
Will I be in joy
Or deep in sorrow
We can not guess
We can not plan
Our life moves on
Visit the clan
Tomorrow will come
Yesterday is gone
The present is now
I greet the dawn
I take each day
As if the last
I don’t hold on to
Things from past
Each day is new
Each day is pure
I  open my eyes
Just to assure
That I am still
Here on this earth
Know who I am
And know my worth

Sky above and sand beneath
God’s gift to us he did bequeath
The beauty of bounty is quite unique
It makes us humble it makes us meek
We honour all that we can see
This lovely Earth on which to be
So look around take in the all
See all you can of blue green sprawl
And then look deeper to who you are
In life you must become a star
And be the best of who you can
And dance with joy in God’s true plan
For only in love can you really know
Life’s truth secrets from which to grow
Inside you lives a piece of God
A part that you should sure applaud
As human we are bound to life
As soul we move beyond wildlife
We become as our maker with purity
And we become a spirit free

Today I thought that I would write
A line or two of words
That speak to others from in my heart
That chatter like the birds
That sit on high on small perched wires
And know what they are for
That speak of life and other things
That reach deep in the core
For life is flitting and soon is gone
We must make the best of time
Each breathe is counted until the’re gone
Until we reach our prime
So make each day your very best
Change out what should be gone
And act in your best interest
As life goes on and on
Make each day count
Let breathes be smooth
As you go on your way
And know that who you really are
Is who is going to stay

Paint
Expressing my love
And life
And experience

Canvas
Blank
On which to grow
And be
And love

Framed
Enhanced
To notice The I
In the hurricane of life

Lying in bed
I can not sleep
I’m not feeling sleepy
From my head to my feet
My thoughts are racing
I can’t keep up
I’m twichy and itching
From the day’s build up
What shall I do
How can this go on
Especially if it’s to the food
That I am drawn
Late night snacks
Stick to my hips
Oh well guess it’s time
To finish those chips
I know I should
I think I shall
Gather up all my thoughts
In one corral
And try to be still
And try to be right
Gather my covers
Wrapped around me tight
Good night to my door
Good night to my sheep
It’s time to bed down
It’s time to sleep

Once upon a time
There was a world
That was as pure and innocent
As the people that lived there
There was no crime, no pain
No one taking advantage
Or lying
To others
And then
The big change
Came
And lying became the norm
And power over others
Overpowered all
And no one cared
About others
And they killed
And *****
And ravaged
And had no remorse
And God looked down
And he said
This isn’t good
So
He created children
To watch over the future
To bring back innocence
And truth
And love
And he said
This is good
Only the children
Picked up
The bad habits of their parents
And so an ugliness
Settled
Over the world
And darkness was all around
And the innocent
Feared
The ugly
And they forgot
That love was all they needed
And God, sent down love
In the form of animals
And wildlife
And plants
And the people ate the plants
And played with the animals
And remembered
That they were made of love
And all was good
Because
Love is all there is

There are times when I have
A need to speak out
And to let others know
That I have no doubt
That I am correct
And they are not
That I know what I’m saying
And in that I am caught
I believe what I speak
I believe that I know
And I forget to remember
The seeds that I sow
If I’m always correct
And my friends are too
Then our ideas collide
And we’re stuck in the glue
Of believing that we
Are the only ones who know
That only our thoughts
Should be allowed to grow
We forget that other
Is important as well
But we keep right on going
And our heads sure do swell
So I suggest a time out
A time to breathe and reflect
On the part that we play
And how we should connect
As partners we can
Do more than as one
Working together
Can be so much fun
No more conflict
And no more commotion
Love is the answer
To the magic potion

Sometimes
Sleep just doesn’t come
And I lie awake
Unable to quiet my mind
Or body
And even tossing and turning
Doesn’t seem to help
To bring a stillness
So
Tea is my go to friend
And quiet and solitude
Seem to bring forward
A tranquility
Of spirit
Life can be tough
And
Quiet and solitude
Seem
To
Help

Half of me is gone
It just walked out the door
And I know
Deep within my heart
I know
That it will come back
And
Until then
I
Am only
half

Rain
Falling from the sky
Pitter pattering
On the soaked ground
Reminding us
That fulfillment
Always follows emptiness
And caring
Always follows pain