I don't want to be in the afterlife thinking
'The biggest mistake I made in life was when I killed myself'
That's why I hope there is no afterlife

The words do not always come
Sometimes they can not be wrote
They are just thoughts stuck in the mind
Burred in all that is lost

Distorted reflections of each other
Broken glass shows our true colors

This feeling is new to me
It stuns my mind
And lets me be
Empty hope
And lonely words
Is what I used to be
But now I can breathe
Make amends to the anxiety
And make sense of the hollow dreams
There is much more to me
Maybe in ways that you could only see
And when my words don't flow
Just know
Its because
My mind is stunned
By your beauty

I think I get it now
I can't even see the stars
Although there is no need to wonder
I am sure they are as bright they have always been
They are just hiding
Beyond my roof
And beyond the clouds
I doubt they will go anywhere anytime soon

Acceptance was my first lesson
I have never been one to meditate
Although somehow
My mind has brought me to an understanding
The light should not be rejected
For how else would a flower bloom
I think its sad how people trap them in their room
It is beautiful
How we live
And how we love
I hate hatred
And I often hate myself
But then I realise
That dwelling will get me nowhere

Another lesson I learned was about frustration
Not everything will come your way
From my experiences
I have gained friends
Lost friends
And sometimes lost myself
But even through all of that
I learned how important it is to never neglect yourself
If you only live for others
Then what will happen when they are gone?

I learned recently about taking initiative
Anxiety is the reason my nails are short
The reason why I shake my leg
And the reason why nobody else cares
Or at least that is what I used to think in my head
But over time it came to my mind
That I could not blame anxiety for all my problems
Life is cruel
But its probably not as cruel as I thought it was

My hardest lesson was not to dwell in my own dissatisfaction
Depression was the word I used to describe the void in my soul
I used to think that nothing could ever possibly get better
And that it was better to die young instead of dying of old age
The chemicals in my mind are still changing
So when I am feeling down
I always try to acknowledge that

Writing has been therapeutic for me
It has changed the way I view the world
For both good and bad
I have met people on here who have helped me on the darkest days
So I say to anyone in need
There are people on here who want to listen
I want to listen
Lets all try get through this mess o.o

I don't want to hurt anyone
Maybe that just means I will end up hurting everyone

Your words allure in the depth of night
From my phone you are my light
Winter came and brought the cold
But suddenly my heart feels warm
Worries and troubles slip away
These night talks have made my day

A stranger in my room
If only then I knew

Everything is collapsing
And these words only keep me somewhat stable

Seamlessly
The rain has poured for years
There would be stars up in the sky
If they all did not disappear
The coldness never goes away
No warm jumper would understand

Is it night time
If the sun never comes
To dry away your tears

Thinking of starting a server on discord where people can post poems, thoughts, talk, etc... message if interested

Sometimes I don't know how to finish what I have
Oh no it happened again

I'm no longer falling
Now I'm falling in love

silence lay beneath the stars
A lone puddle looked back at me with deceiving eyes
Who am I?
My shadow never shows at night
A part of me lost
Longing
I wonder
As I look up towards the stars
I speak
'Take me away
The silence is becoming too loud'

When the butterflies come
And flutter wings so young
When their paradise falls
Will they hit the ground too

Do you ever just look at something
With not a thought on your mind
But your lovely blank stare
Can see straight past the blue sky
And over the mellow meadows which give color to dreams
Over the infinite skyscrapers that grow but do not leave
Do you stare at the trees which may not have long before fall
And not even have one single thought at all

Stone cold
The words you spoke
But you didn't even know
And no one else seemed to either
Drifting
Is where my mind was
But no one ever asked
And now it continues to drift
Further.....
Down

And

Down...

Lower

And

Lower.
Into the depths of my favorite fantasies
And the border of my dullest nightmares

I fear myself like I fear the empty midnight sky
No stars to connect
No friends to create
Just an empty abyss
Its nice at first
The peace
And the quiet
But the quiet never leaves
Until its too loud to bare

I don't write disorderly
I just write how I feel
And right now I feel messy
My mind is as messy as the words before me
But they are words nonetheless

I want to impress people
I want to show how great I can be
I want to love myself like how others love me
Through all this pain and hurt
It will shape who I am
And I will be better for it

A lonely sight with you not here
I turned off my phone
And ran away
I cried for hours
It rained for days
The sun came out
A friendly face
She dried my tears
Her rays I embraced
The moon soon beckoned
He and I relate
We talked and watched the stars
My mind wandered forever far

Maybe this is life
Away from it all
But in tune with the world
I am not lonely
Nor am I alone
Finally I am free

I love this vibe
Rain hits the windows
As cars pass by
The music is booming
I feel so alive
We sit in silence
And watch the pretty night sky
The thoughts are gone
Just for a moment
But the moment feels right

Silence echoes
Fallen leaves
I miss the happy buzzy bees

I didn't ask to be here
So why should I have to stay?