His eyes sparkle when he sees me,
but they don’t sparkle for me.
It pains me that, even now,
you are the constellation he looks for in every sky.
Where am I in that universe?
I’m beside him,
but he’s wishing on a star that looks like you.
Your long black hair,
a midnight river cascading down your back.
Your plump pink lips,
like rose petals kissed by spring.
Your skinny body,
a delicate stem swaying in the wind.
Your pretty smile,
like sunlight slipping through storm clouds.
I hate everything about you.
But do I really hate you,
or do I hate the cracked reflection I see
when I compare myself to the image he still worships?
Because I know
I will never be as good as you.
I will never make him happy the way you did.
The boy I love
is still lost in the story he wrote with you.
I will never hold the love you held.
Because it’s an oath he took,
a vow sealed in silence and memory.
An oath that will never be mine.
His heart stayed with you.
His memories—
they stopped with you.
Please,
don’t take him away from me.
I will try to make him happy,
I swear I will.
No…
I can’t.
I will never be someone’s “the one.”
Tears fill my eyes,
like oceans rising in a storm.
His heart is turning to ice,
frostbitten by yesterday.
Now I dance with my own shadows,
twirling through silence
in an empty room of unmet dreams.
When the tide is low,
when the world is still,
I can still feel his presence,
like a phantom touch,
haunting the spaces where love should be.