When I awake,
Take a look in the mirror,
Staring at your soul
I realize
How can I
Or will I ever,
See my mind,
Again.
I know, says him
I know exactly what you need,
Nothing is there for you to do,
Shall you **** first?
Take the snort instead,
Than the Stars of the now
And past
Will be bits,
Put along side next to you.
The cameras won't stop flashing
Every block you turn
Every one and their mother,  
cannot wait to find
you.
Dressed in fashion too,
A spoiled brat,
You will be.
Everyday,
Will be perfect.
With your favorite small luxuries
of **Life

Being trapped,
is
Loving someone,
whom you know,
you will only and forever love
yet
will never see again.
You are trapped.
You feel the pain
that person went through
everyday
as you awake.
Yes,
that single and
one night
they spent
crying
for you.
Every tear that came down
has been a year
of suffering.

Can't stop me now baby,
This rhythm is just starting.
If anything
it's building up,
Getting stronger by the second,
Like the baby we first had
Remember that,
The baby called
Love,
It was born and is still growing,
by the moment,
As you read,
Something you cannot stop babe.
Look at me go beautiful,
Im sticking to it like a fean,
I am on it,
This is where I get better baby,
Right in the middle
****,
I'm pumping love,
Every second of my heart,
I am nonstop,
So believe me I have no end,
No slow pokes around here lovey
All I see is green,
I'm on the chase,
How about you show yourself ?
Do it,
I might stop.

No matter what happens here,
One day,
It will all end.
Despite the love,
Every day
I think about my wake.
Will you be there?
I will.
I'd love to know,
What your tears look like,
A shame is this I
tell you
I
Have to past,
To see you again.
Look at me,
I'm smiling
I
Breathe and I breathe,
Knowing
It'll all end .

Smelling gasoline is really good,
I want to be bad.
Loving you is wrong,
I don't want to be right.
Beware of the fence of love,
I head straight in.
If you've forgotten how to love,
Yell it to me.
Black is the color of my heart,
Let me speak the way I speak.
You and I are dead,
you text, I call you back.
A ****** building a house,
I made mine in the sand.
Sleeping near death,
Get me a pillow.
My body is lit in flames,
Now I shall sit.
Cigars with alcohol is soft,
Coke with ecstasy is just right.
Being suicidal is okay,
I only cut my throat half way.
Replaying memories from the past,
Relying on my future is meaningless.
I have no goals in this life.
Go run
until you throw up,
I do that in my sleep.
Give yourself a break, they say,
I keep going until it breaks.
Showering with you again,
The sewer is much like my bathtub.
Love me again
Repetition is for a naive.
Forgive and forget,
a spell with no solution.
A dog not eating its own feces,
yes, that's exactly
how hungry I am.
Waiting for the sun to come up,
yet
The sun waiting to explode.

In January I am weak,
Late at night when everyone is asleep,
The cold makes my heart jump a beat.
Every February hearts roam the air,
Why am I so weak,
my heart is barely there?
March is full of three leaf clovers,
but my high wont leave,
I am drunk and cannot remember the last time I was sober.
I play the fool every single day of April,
clearly the world can see,
that I have never been stable.
In May the flowers are rising,
but my flower died,
I am only feeding water to the roots inside me.
No June has passed without me over-thinking,
every beginning of summer my head is over heating.
I see myself in the mirror every time it hits July,
the clouds move slower,
just like every lie,
I ever told you!
August is your birthday,
I am here about to throw myself,
into a bay.
September is like my refugee,
I torture myself,
by putting my hand on several bumblebee's.
On every pumpkin I carve a mad face in October,
These rhymes are driving me crazy,
put me to sleep,
I want to be sober.
November the month of my Scorpio,
Virgo, Leo, Cancer  Xanax is the cause of my slowness,.
The end is finally here,
the month of December,
three hundred and sixty five days has passed,
Hopefully next year,
your name I wont remember.

There is a big difference,
the way,
my heart was broken,
to the way,
a heart would usually break.
This is not a crack,
or your average fissured.
An explanation,
of how did this start,
would be in demand,
if ever eyes,
lay upon,
my awful looking heart.
It has a devastation to live with,
my heart is split,
with countless amount of openings,
that I feel,
every single day,
when I first open my eyes,
every single night,
before the last shut,
of my eyes.
The person responsible,
cleaved it,
with all her rights.
My heart is beating,
only because of the Lords grace,
among me.
Among the many,
shattered parts of my heart,
lies a big,
sharp piece,
This piece has a certain name on it,
It's the piece the doctor says,
is irreplaceable,
Untouchable,
and will eventually,
**** me.
The doctor told me,
only once,
everyday when I wake up,
To remember,
that the piece,
is half an inch,
deeper,
than it was yesterday.
Inside,
my poor little heart,
the tiny,
edgy bits,
of my demolished heart,
cover the space,
surgeons need,
to remove,
the big sharp piece.
My heart,
is not a heart anymore,
but a beating muscle,
that looks like,
a dried up anthurium,
ready to fall.
It has the bottom opening,
of an old fashioned bleeding heart,
but no color.
The heart,
I carry with me,
is very weak,
and unstable,
like water.
It has a day,
where it try's,
it's very best,
to pace the torture,
I put it through,
but,
the majority of days,
it cannot bare
and stops,
to scare me.