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Love,
Lust,
Lies.

Still yet to decide
Which one defines
Everything we left behind.

Then again,
Perhaps it goes a little something like this;

Love?
Lust lies.
I want to tell him
that I’m scared,
that I’ve been here before.
And that the last time I felt potential like this it imploded;
I imploded.
But I don’t want to taint it,
You see I’m still hopeful
That maybe this time
Won’t end up laced with maybes,
Or what ifs,
Or open wounds pouring blood onto paper.
That maybe this time,
just won’t end.

I’ve not quite worked out whether I think it’s beautiful,
Or stupid -
The human capacity,
And pliancy,
And longing,
For love.
 Sep 2015 Tex Dermott
NV
18.
 Sep 2015 Tex Dermott
NV
18.
it's sorta kinda my birthday today.
and i know i should be happier than i am right now.
but truth is, i'm not.
i'm pretty much depressed to be honest.
but not that it matters though.

i really just wanted to thank all you bloggers for giving me pieces of your heart,
the kindness and motivation that makes my world seem like a better place at times.
because if there's one good decision i've made in life,
it would be opening up myself to all of you.

this space has made me feel heard.
this space has made me feel wanted.
this space has made me feel loved.

and just in case you didn't know,
every one of you,
makes a difference,
every time.
and i know i don't know you - but i love you anyways
I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to hurt you
but the pain was to much
and I just wanted it to stop
to let up
to let me go
I'm so sorry
that I caused you pain
I wil try harder next time
I'm sorry sweetheart
 Sep 2015 Tex Dermott
Pax
I played the game, alone.
I talk to the air,
Imagining a friend who isn’t there.
My brain’s dual thinking.

- Checkmate -

Personification in strike
Persona’s colliding stake

- Stalemate -

Hello there my stuffed friend
Looks like we are a matched.
We’re Latched,
Encased in the four corners of our walls.
You know I feel restless looking at your frozen face.
Playing with stillness is a hollowed void.
Engross with my ever changing fantasy.
Choosing to ignore reality.
A sad case of my mortality.

- Workmate -

Music patched the necessary unattached realm.
Stories powered the desires to dream the unchallenged dream.
Life is a walking daydream.

- Lostmate -

There are those would think I am coward
And then I box myself not to move forward.
I fear what lurks behind someone’s soul,
Fearing I am not worthy of my own coal.
A charade of personas, hiding.
Tilting the crowd as if I am never there, post acting.

- Soulmate -

Believing you are near,
somewhere far behind that unseen chamber door.

- Castmate -

Sometimes I am just tired of this game.
Whispers of the wind, believing I am tamed.
Sometimes all I need is a real friend
That will hug-out the negative trend
For me to transcend
To the realistic perspective
Waking the sleeping life’s motive.
7 poems in one
" - would there be someone that will say I am still worthy... " That's what i said when i wrote this awhile back....
 Sep 2015 Tex Dermott
Just Me
Broken much...
That I am

Broken pain
Everywhere and nowhere

I've got words thousands clutter
I can't choose
I can only say they are all broken full of sorrow rage fear and emptiness

My pains so great physically I'm numb

I'll save my emotions deep inside, because what I want to yell.....
I wish to hide

Holding tears
I'm almost a pro
Broken...
No one knows....

Numb and feeling incredible pain
I pray that I will indefinitely break

Take my heart and freeze it till It shatters and bury it someplace
Anywhere it doesn't matter.....
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