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he had this light in his eyes.
i never thought i would see “home” so vividly
until i looked into those eyes
those sweet brown eyes
filled with light.

i look into your eyes now
searching for the light he had
and i see nothing

i ask you thousands of questions
to understand you
like i understood him-
or so i thought i did-
but you say nothing

you make me smile
but not laugh like he did
volcanic eruptions of pure bliss
now valleys of yearning

i fear i’ve gone too far
and i can’t go back to him
what would he say anyways?
he still wouldn’t want me
though i was so sure he did

and you’re smiling at me
and you’re complimenting me
but i’m looking right past you
trying to see if i can see him
through the crowds and swarms of people

you look at me, and i smile back
but i’m staring into your deep brown eyes
searching for a light
that only he had
did i cross the line?
I am left yearning to drown,
When smothered in your love.
Breath, breath is optional,
I live off of your love.

Addiction, obsession, craving,
Need, you are need,
So I repeat the same words back to you,
Drown me.
The greatest lie you ever told to me
Was sealed with a kiss
That passion, desperation, clinging to mine 
You lied fiercely to me 
You pressed it to my lips as I believed it all
Lying to me repeatedly 
But my heart begged for more of your love 
Lie to me more, please
Because every time we do, I gain some hope
That this wasn't the last
That we had so much more in store for each other
We held on for so long
Both wanting to make this our permanent truth
Once again
I fell for the lie, the promise, that you will always
Come back to me
josef 5d
i dream of
running my hands through
his black curls
but his heart is obsidian
and i am an iron pickaxe
Ricardo Diaz Jun 9
She's flying away
For good this time
Fells like we only just met.

You make heaven seem so dull
With your beautiful laugh
and tumeric juice.

You were never mine to lose,
Yet I lost you nun the less.

Entangled forever,  
until the tides forget to pull us apart.  

You soundly touched my soul,
And left no finger prints

We said goodbye,  
I wished you well.  
You said  It's just words.  

I knew That was the last time  
I calmed your flames.  

My deep blue waters are void again.

I wait at the lobby of your old apartment.
Just to remember how it felt to drop you off.

Riding in the rain seems a lot less fun.
Walks in the park a lot less nice.
And songs in the dark a lot less paradise.

I love you gently,
The only way I was allowed to.

I really hope you don't read this poem.
So we can stay goodbye.

Knowing you,
you'll have another one of your
Gut feelings and just know I do.

You're actually gone aren't you?
A season in time
Ricardo Diaz Jun 9
Once apon a time so gentle,
Watched sunrises as the birds sang good morning

Then broken in disillusionment,
became a dangerous weapon

Nothing can be gained without loss,
Even the celestial gates demand the reapers sickle.

He who seeks peace
Must face chaos

I know not what scares me more.
To see you once more,
Or never again.

I tremble at the choice unseen
To embrace the risk of once more
Or brace for impact on never again.
You are my only swan,
Whose beauty graces the sky.
Your smile ripples my heart of water,
Your eyes pierce the soul of my existence.
Your laughter echoes through my mind,
And your voice calms even my turbulent life.
Your touch feels like the hand of an angel,
Whose warmth melted my icy soul.
In your presence, my soul felt whole,
In your absence, a needle poked a hole.
Yet I yearn for you,
As you are my only swan.
Some souls feel like a breeze.
You can feel them, but you can’t hold them.
You can’t stay attached — even if you want to.
So are you, my only swan.
Tequilla Jun 9
Every word I say

already belongs to the past.
Every sentence ends before I’m ready,

just like us.

They say every beginning has an end—

but not every end was given a start.

Like love, 
which crept in silent

the moment loneliness collapsed.

Love met my solitude and said,

“You’ve waited long enough.”

but love never promised forever.

You didn’t either.

I’m not ready to turn the page

if you're not written in the next.

The world stands still for you—
pauses in awe.

Even time stares.

Yet you keep moving,

and I stay frozen—

still stuck

in the moment you left.

Are you real?

Was your love real?

Were we?

I question the truth of you,

the truth of us.

The future fades,

but your face lingers in the dark.

I ask and ask

but all I do

is think of you.

We all die in the end.

Some die with joy,

others with silence.

I will die with sorrow

because my hands won’t be in yours.

For those who break, 
all that's left is breath.

For those who wait, only pain.

Time stops—you move.

Time moves—I don’t.

When you walk away,

I ask if you ever truly loved.

When I stop chasing,

you wonder if I ever truly stayed.

The final moment is always the first.

The first touch, the last ache.

For your dream, I am parched.

For your voice, I starve.

With you,

I feel like less than whole—a soul missing its mirror.

But without you,
there is no half.

There is only 
nothing.
After four years and countless turns of time, I’m still wildly, quietly, endlessly in love with the same man.
And if years are poems, then every line still rhymes with him.
josef Jun 7
and they ask me:
why do you subscribe to spotify premium?
and i say that it’s only to put the song
by the smiths with his name on loop
that i might hear his name spoke
W
Chrys Jun 6
I listen to old songs
Old songs I used to enjoy
Old songs whose melody
I sing with lyrics from memory

I listen to old songs
Old songs I no longer enjoy
Because they're songs I listened to
When I was me before you

I listen to old songs
Old songs whose taste has soured
Because they're songs I heard
I’ve cried
     I’ve cried to

And yet they’re songs that saved me
Songs that kept me company
Because they’re songs I lived
I’ve felt
     I’ve felt sad to

I listen to old songs
Old songs whose taste has sweetened
Old songs while I'm yearning and waiting
For what you are now to me, darling

So now I listen to these old songs
Old songs I'll again enjoy
Because it reminds me of how I prayed for you
And how I'm lucky I no longer need to

I listen to these old songs
Old songs as I’m me with you
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