There are so many words that I want to ******* yell at you,
So many emotions coursing through me,
So many memories replaying in me,
So many questions I’m dying to ask you,

But I don’t want to embarrass myself anymore.

Do you ever wonder why
People fight about what happens when we die?
I do.
This shouldn't be a fight
It's death, alright.
It'll happen to us all
We'll know what happens soon enough

dear chaser,
you had only one goal and yet you failed,
after all the chasing, how could you
leave so easily?

I opened my heart again
to this boy who I thought was different.

He knew what hurt me,
he knew what angered me,
He knew exactly what not to do

And that's exactly everything he did

i just
i hate it

you know

that feeling of
of
sadness

of emptiness

and just
a big empty hole
in your chest

not being able to do anything
yet having to ignore it
and move on

and move on

i just wish something
or someone could fill it

i wish someone cared enough
enough to stop
and help me figure out what the hell i'm doing

and what the hell i'm supposed to do
because this hole in my chest just keeps aching

and i don't know what to do anymore

i don't know
i don't know
i don't know

why don't you care
why

i just want someone to care

because sometimes i think i care too much
but then my chest hurts again
so i don't care enough

and my heart is playing tug of war

but eventually my heart will rip
in half

i just wish you cared
i just wish

we are gathered here today to ignore the empty seat next to me
i tell myself this is how it’s meant to be
laughter passes between the four of us, we’re all reminiscing
all except the one that’s missing
isn’t this peace more than enough?
is anyone going to call us on our bluff?
the vacant chair looms in the dark and my brother’s question brings it to life
                    why did you ask for a table of five?
suddenly I feel small in my seat
i succumb to a tense smile, simple and bittersweet
                     a force of habit, my fault
one by one, we halt
and stare
at the bare
and lonely chair.

The seconds, minutes, hours pass by.
And yet, after all this time,
I can't help but sit back and wonder...
"Why?"