what would've happened if we knew?
would we get that last goodbye
would we even know the stakes of the situation
how would things have changed

i don't know what we would've done if we knew
if we knew that would be our last
our last as a class
our last as friends
our last together
and how would we feel if we knew everything was about to change

so i sit here reflecting on my thoughts wondering, what if?

People say love can fix everything
What if love broke you in the first place?
People say life's all about cherishing
What if all you ever got was a disgrace?
People say friends are the family you choose
What if you are born renegade?

If I was there
  I'd run my fingers through his hair
Tell him how much I truly care
  I'd sing to him softly
and kiss him loftily
I would talk about non-sense
and everything of importance

If I was there
I wouldn't be in such disrepair.

Under unruly layers of chaotic disquietude that pile up in hordes
from circulating swarms
now towers
All across the back alley landscape of my mental chronology
Finding contemplation by manipulating hesitation
Ego deaths laid to rest delivering an effort of awareness
through reflection and forethought

Within the in between of each ascending rise is all there was and ever will be linking heart brain and belly
breeding Individual Introspection

A moment of Panic brought on by dis-ease or disease sent panic through my minds townscape
A thought popped up flashing hypotheticals and a screaming
curiosity until picked up by blowing winds
under bridges
In between streets with row houses
I chased down this thought about what would happen if this occurrence came forward with fruition while the likelihood remains:
See no
Hear no
Speak no
Heart no
Think no
Breathe no
If she feels the day
That she might have been distant too much
Let these offerings of continued assistance take their place in loves lost memory
And with that realization her hands call her other
Only to find his cat has runaway into the wild lands
And taking time to retrieve her call
Like the ones he dialed so many times to no avail
Is the last thing on his minds lists and it’s been stacked over and bulldozed into a rubble mound at the city dump out by the forgotten highway where even the blind don’t even drive on anymore

Those who seek clarity,
The purity of the mind
Beyond the science, beyond the lies
Leaving all facts behind

For what you are exists right here
For what you have arrived
What if you feel the way I do
For nothing but for mankind

Be known for being, not for doing
For saving yourself around to find

For what exists right here
For what you have arrived
What if you feel the way I do
For nothing but mankind