You crumpled my heart,
just as casually as you step and crumple the useless fallen leaves.
I then realized that there I no point to sit and grieve.
I thought that I could trust you again,
but oh I was wrong.

You broke me again,
but this time it made me indefinitely strong.

One year. It felt like a cloudy night sky.
Nothing. Darkness, suffocating, painful darkness.
And then, occasionally, there were fireworks.
Moments of joy that last for seconds, until they fade away.

I’ve been trudging through this darkness
With no progress, no developments
Beyond who I am inside.
But the world doesn’t stop turning.

I still feel inadequate and talentless.
I still feel like an empty void
That has it together well enough that no one would look inside.
But I’m about to tear apart.

I need to do something!
I can’t be a parasite.
But there’s nothing I can do.
I feel so wrong.

Help me so I don’t need help.

Governed by the demons
That call my every move
Tipping the bottle
Downing the last pill
Sinking into the water
Eyes glazed over
The shadows creeping closer
I close my eyes
Awake in my bed I lay
Dried tears across my face
I scream out in anger
And try to dream of that night
Again