I am comfortable inside my head,
invisible borders,
self-imposed rules.

They keep me safe.
An illusion of security.

But when the walls
inevitably
close in on me,
there’s nowhere to run.

Trapped inside this fragile paper cage.
Nothing keeps me in,
yet everything does.

I'm lost in the depths of my own mind,

suffocating under the weight of my thoughts.

Reality is distorted,

truth and lies are intertwined.

Every moment feels like a ticking time bomb,

waiting to unleash its destruction.

I'm paralyzed by the fear of being hurt again.

You're a potential threat,

a risk I'm not willing to take.

I scrutinize your every move,

waiting for the inevitable mistake.

But beneath this façade of self preservation,

a voice whispers the painful truth:

I'm the one who's broken, I'm the one who's afraid.

The ghosts of the past still haunt me,

their echoes reverberating through my soul.

I'm trapped in this cycle of fear,

pushing away anyone who dares to get close.

I'm convinced I'm better off alone,

safe behind the walls I've built.

Yet, in this isolation,

I'm drowning in my own despair,

longing for connection,

but terrified of the vulnerability it requires.

This self imposed exile is a double edged sword.

It protects me from the pain of rejection,

but also denies me the warmth of human connection.

I'm a master of deflection,

disguising my fear as indifference.

I'll push you away, test your resolve,

and measure your love by the distance

you're willing to travel.

But what if you stay?

What if you see beyond the armor I've crafted,

beyond the scars and the fears?

What if you touch the fragile heart beating beneath?

The thought sends shivers down my spine.

For vulnerability is a risk I've never been willing to take.

Yet, the possibility tantalizes me,

It's like a siren's call to the depths of my soul.

In this tug of war between heart and head,

I'm torn asunder.

And a part of me yearns to surrender,

to let go of the controls and freefall into the unknown.

Another part clings to the familiar,

the comfort of solitude, the certainty of pain.

And so I hover,

suspended between two worlds,

unsure which path to choose.

For the silence in here is deafening,

mirroring a reflection of the war raging within me.

Mirror mirror
On the wall,
Who’s the most shattered
of them all?
Aligned with the cracked glass,
I feel broken.
Each scar of self-harm
Leads to a line of tokens—
Every scratch and crack in the mirror
Is a symbol of self hate
that plagues my heart.
Soon to fall apart
And rot in the mirror…

Mirror mirror
On the wall,
Who’s the most fallen of them all?
Hidden and forgotten
in the dust of cobwebs
In your attic.
I ask for help,
But aligned with the smashed glass,
I feel stolen and trapped
Under the illusion of no hope—
Bruised and abused.
Left in confusion,
Losing people like flies,
Leaving shattered moments
in pieces scattered across the floor,
Only then I feel heartbroken.

Mirror mirror
On the wall,
What have I done wrong
To become aligned with
This broken mirror?

Mind so blank like clean white sheet
Hard to start with, so troublesome

Though I look around for inspirations
Yet blank it is! Road block Road block
Yes it is a Dead end!

I felt so trapped
Can't think of anything
that could inspire!

How should I bounce back
Being lively!
Spontaneous!
Energised!

So that I could read out my mind!
Speak my heart out!

Im back.
4 years have passed,
Full of freedom,
Far from you.
Now I’m back,
Constantly feeling trapped.
I see no hope,
No light,
I cant even fight.
I’ve already lost,
The battle of life.

I trusted you. I really did.
Back then, I was just a kid.

Two years of agony have burned in my soul.
I’m sorry, now why won’t you let me achieve my goal?

You took the freedom from my innocent, wounded hands
Watched my happiness disappear like the infinite grains of sands

Like I’m in a prison, security everywhere
Clutching my fragile heart, with every wound and fear

And you can blame it all on me
But now I won’t even tell you who I want to be

Now I’ve matured, and finally moved on
Why won’t that strictness of you carry on?

Why can’t you be the person I thought you were?
Why can’t you treat me just like her?

Why must I be the person you lash out on?
Why won’t you miss me when I’m gone?

It’s because you took everything, even my personality
Now, I’m a nobody. Just me and your brutality.

She sat there like a burning fire
Courage inside her was one to admire

The breezes blew stronger than they had before
Her anger was from the sadness in her heart that tore

Today was the day her freedom would come back
Today was the day her courage would not lack

She would again become that flying bird
She would finally be back, being cured

So she stood up to them, ready to tell
But her courage disappeared, and again she fell.

For bloodlines are linked only by blood
My emotions come out in a drowning flood

We only share a last name
For all these years I’ve fallen fool to your game

No remorse to the ones with the worse
Only greed and fame, it’ll always be the same

We are linked not by love anymore
The stress laid down is like an aching sore

I’ll no longer be trapped in your thickening mud
For bloodlines are linked only by blood

To debark the root of evi,
l was lead to myself,
Was in ecstacy at that time so it was hard to tell,
I had fallen below that of an ****,
My loyalties had changed and so had my heart
No matter how much I weave it again
This spiders web Is in distain
Turned an tossed, left to rot
My selfish desires invoke no guilt
Now that I can not flee from the web that I have built

From the wild wheat, split and well broken,
whereas nature shows her mercy to not sting
your feet; as these boundaries are meaningless
to wild creatures; as the wash of your fears is
mostly made of us leaving tear stains- waiting
for that harvest in a direction, we only know

Spit grain to a graze on a stone, hide all of your
dreams in a piece of melting snow- while the
earth is still steep, her every ocean so, so deep
As your footprints in her sand is just an empty
space; that recollection of those old skin shoes

I once thought ahead of all the questions hanging;
but answers are always so ahead of us- revelations,
above us all, oh, sweet Lord, I’m only but a small
bird, not much bigger than a person’s thought-
I don’t really soar most days, but push myself to
at least float; as the hardships of life have taught
me how to live, but haven’t taught me to fly