..And I probably shouldn't
have used my real name

But that's the fool inside of me

I walk home at three in the morning
In a white fedora, black suit, and winged tipped shoes with a pointed toe

Accompanied by a lone trumpet
Shrieking a wailing lonesome tune
As I walk slyly, cigarette in hand
In a strange off beat step
Through dark alleys, side streets,
And ***** parks

I give a *** a fifty dollar bill

And wait,
Stop there!
A scumbag is assaulting a woman
And I of course save the day



Suddenly
I come to, crawling to my toilet
A horrifying sting of mace

I dreadfully check my messages

And in ***** covered disgrace..
I despise,

My big dumb tequila poisoned face

Fill me , fill me with your
strong bitter Tequila shot
or that hard smoky Whiskey
of yours , call me an addict
oh but huh who cares about
that ****** addiction of mine

His brother’s on my arm;
Cursing the opposing appendage,
For I’d killed his only sibling.

And I’d lie.
And I’d die.
I’d admit to none other,
But come the beer-scented blood he’d know –

My sibling’d just been married.

My other sibling’d just cursed mom.

My other sibling’d kissed a girl.

And the other, more just than most,

Ventured nether; near and dying.

Leaving me ripe
And if only pursued, by all that’d ever odyssey;
Family, vengeance and nature.
So to, brother feeds.

And I’d lie.
And I’d die.
And I’d admit to none other –
His caress and how my arm’d gone lukewarm.

The only, “kiss,” in years and almost a first,
Come lonely soul to feed, in addition a few more.

Ten shots of tequila
can sure make me numb,
but it didn't erase everything.
I sobered up too quickly,
and still had flashbacks of you
in my sleep.
Alcohol isn't the answer,
but, I drank it anyway.


(d.d.b)

He's taken ten tequila shots,
He's trying to forget your name.
But in the end,
The only name he's forgotten
Is his own

I cut one swiftly,
the acidic elixir dripping through my fingers
unto my inebriating, rustic drink.

That woman has never had a motherly soul.
           That is why her children have become so impudent!
Patience and Kindness is the key to raising young ones.
           Support and Love is the key to raising young ones.
                      Trust and Faith is the key to raising young ones.

...I am Kevin's needy self.. scratching the walls.
Holed up in my Key West hotel room and the walls are closing in,
pacing the walls of my mind.
Drinking my naked self into a coma, ****** in and out all weekend,
papers and empty bottles littering the floor and tables.
All to die like the best and go out like a pro,
gone mad, gone crazy in paradise.

Lying in my *****, visions of you walking on my vacant mind,
myself in question and my soul on exit.
I love you and baby you will find me in my glory,
tequila is a fine way to flame out.

In my blind drunkenness, I see my Grandfather before me in his Police Uniform drinking on 85th and Carnegie, hiding his sin in 1925. His will to choose overcoming any logic. His desire to lie about his age to fight the Germans when he was 16. Seeing too much death in France to ever talk about and fading out while I view him saying a gentle goodbye when we both knew it was the last time I would see him alive.

I come to laying on the floor in my *****. The warm air flowing in from the open front door. I am sticking to the ***** carpet and the smell is making me dry heave. I have lived a life, but I know I need to find Aine. She is my blood and I will die or **** myself slowly if we are not united soon. Its an act of desperation, too many ***** and ****** to fill the void. Never fulfilled and always needing more. I can’t lie to myself any longer. The lie burns into my eyes and soul, not to be ignored. She is there, we breathe in the same world. Her smalls hands and beautiful eyes always around the corner.

I’ll recover from this moment like I always do, but one of these times I won’t get up. I’ll die like a pro, in my crazy. I am desperate for the air , to breathe her into me. Breathing in life, my sweet Aine.

KT Mar 27,2014