I usually accept things
The way that I find them.
I get some bad hands
But I really don’t mind them.
You loved me yesterday
Bored with me today.
Sometimes I wish we could
Do this affair another way.

Up and down, then in and out;
That’s what you and I are all about.
Here today, gone this afternoon;
That’s the name of your crazy tune.

Love me or hate me
Choose what you want.
This flippy-flooppy love
Is just a wasteful taunt.
I think I must be using
The incorrect terminology.
Love doesn’t fit with
Your current methodology.

Up and down, then in and out;
That’s what you and I are all about.
Here today, gone this afternoon;
That’s the name of your crazy tune.

I think it is me who has
Mistaken lust for affection.
It might be time for me
To go another direction.
I will miss some of your
Intimate bedroom frolic,
But this kind of relationship
Seems very much alcoholic.

Up and down, then in and out;
That’s what you and I are all about.
Here today, gone this afternoon;
That’s the name of your crazy tune.

The thought of even telling you makes every word possible to say escape me.

Emotion, emotion,
Where are you?
Are you hiding?
Leaving me nothing to do?
I'm slowly dying,
Becoming an empty shell.
Where am I going?
Am I going to hell?
My depression is showing,
I can barely stand it,
Being barely able to deal with this ****.
I don't know how to cope,
And I am losing my hope;
I feel like falling to bits.
So, emotion, emotion,
Where are you?
Are you hiding?
I'm slowly dying.
And, to be honest, I need you.

he's the kind of *******
that tells you you're not special
without actually telling you
because he gives everybody
his '**** me' eyes
but you wouldn't want
to ever be special for him, anyway

"i had every intention of telling you,"
he claims.
"but it's already too late,"
i say.
he replies with the ever so cliché line that is, "it's never too late."
i'm not sorry
that some things just are.

in, out
in, out
keep telling yourself its okay
and things will turn out fine
you cant change this one, dear
i know you want to
but you cant do a thing, sweetie
just take a breath and hold it
long after your face turns blue
if you hold it long enough it might do
if you wake again in a room draped in white
tubes sprouting out your veins
its quite alright, my love
for you just need to hold it longer
for as time passes just pretend
pretend like you can hold it together
for someone will believe
and let you be
but this time
when that comes
take things nice and slow
in
out
feel the wind breeze against your face
high in the sky
almost touching the stars
as you can hear honks from cars
the salty smell hitting your nose
as you just let it go
dropping, dropping
down you go
until
finally
you hear the whistling of wind in your ears
your hair flowing like the water below
and suddenly
plink
just like a raindrop
you fall from the sky
but instead of stopping, you fall further
this time
not gravity.
your greif and misery
dragging you down
yet the farther you go
it doesnt feel heavy
you feel light, floating even
until
you pop up
looking around, you find yourself in a river
a river of lost souls
finally,
finally.
you have reached
your final destination.

Today feathers slipped from my mouth
Galaxies of bruises spread across my skin
And I became content with my body for a fleeting moment
But I can't tell you that.

Today someone cut my skin with scissor-sharp words
I felt the pressure of everything crushing me
And I aced a science test.
But I can't tell you that.

Today I realized that I feel like the only person in my universe
I missed the soft touch of your skin
And I felt sorry for myself
But I can't tell you that.

Today I tasted molten gold
Silver cascaded from the sky, similar to stars
And I wanted to kiss you
But I can't tell you that.

Today my fingers tapped the censored keys
I had an empty conversation with you
And I worried about our survival
But I can't tell you that.

I:

Dear Diary,

It was not hard to understand,
The feelings that he stirred in me.
I don't really think I was ready,
But he had to have his way with me.

As he pulled back the coverlet
His eyes gleemed in the candlelight.
I felt his callused hands upon my newness
And trusted him with my life.

His words were all I could have wanted
As our fingers interlocked, then splayed.
Nobody told me how much love hurts,
But I loved him, anyway.

He gently kissed me on my forehead,
And told me not to cry.
He used his beautiful lips
To kiss tears from my eyes.

I knew I had forever changed
As I watched him button up his coat.
Then he gently reminded,
I should not tell a living soul...

II:

Dear Diary,

How could I have known that I would love him,
But be left to deal with this alone.
I used an alias on the forms,
So nobody else will ever have to know.

I wondered how I'd feel when it was over,
When I've heard the doctor say that he was through.
I wonder how long I'll miss my baby.
Ending it was all that I could do.

As I walked alone along the Boulevard,
I realize that I must hurry home.
I told them I would be on time for dinner.
(God, please don't let them ask where I did stroam)

The heart can take a body many places
That you never dreamed your soul would go,
Can make you do things you never thought you would.
Most of all, the heart can lay you low.

I wonder if our paths should cross again,
Will I tell him of the ended pregnancy.
Perhaps if he had not gone away
We would have been a wholesome family...