I'm still freezing
at that time the sea aroma stopped by my nose
my eyes look as far as I can
a soft whisper of the wind touched my ears
greeted my first arrival
I smile at the waves that hit the rocks
while the waves crashing my feet
warm greetings from me
for those who are not just silent
my eyes closed
I say my magic spell
hope to be back again

Take my breath
I need it not
Take my life
It serves me not
Take my soul
It is no more
Take my whole
I'm nothing in this world
Take my existence
It was a mistake
Take my heart
It broke much more
Take my smile
It is fake
Take my body
Drag it to the lake
Take my bones
Bury them under
Bring me roses
I always will suffer

My euphoric state of mind
    Is artificial
It brings awareness of my feelings
    And it is the only time i feel alive

Please don't judge me
  or shun me please
For it is all i know
   Of me at this time

I can still feel your hands on me,
The way they took, the way they gripped at my skin until I screamed.
You liked hearing me scream but you held a hand over my mouth just in case there were ears nearby.
You bruised my lips with how hard you held my face in place, I could barely breath.
Your hands they took, savagely, selfishly
Your eyes trailed my body with a tenderness that you couldn't possibly possess.
They humiliated me, for I was open, helpless.
Weak.
You took and took, and you ******* took!
I cried, I kicked, I begged, but you were all about finishing what you started.
I can feel your hands, everyone who has ever touched me has your hands.
I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, somebody help me, please stop, no more!
I want to feel pretty but not like this.
I flinch at the unexpected embraces.
I awaken in fright when I should be at peace in the night.
You took.
And you couldn't even look me in the eyes because you knew.
You knew
...
But you still took.

She walks inside a room
this room has Creamy white wallpaper
the edges peeling and paper fading
she smells floor wax and pine wood floors cascading throughout the room
but...
she realizes no one has stepped on the floors
no one has smelled the pine wood or wax
no one has seen the beautiful white paper wall
she takes in the crisp room
then takes one step
the heel of her black heel clicks
with a woody hollowness
now it has been taken in
and can begin

I'm stuck in an elevator
Between floors
I can't remember if it was going down,
Up,
Maybe sideways,
I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
I'm stuck in this lift,
Alone,
I've always been alone.
Ten years ago I thought I was,
You convinced me otherwise
Now you're gone,
Moving up,
Or down,
With somebody else.
And I'm stuck,
Between floors,
With myself.
You told me in the end I was terrible company,
Now I know,
It's true.
I don't know that person
Looking back at me
In that mirror
In a lift,
That is stuck
Between floors,
Maybe 9 and 10,
Both are my lucky numbers,
Not anymore.
I've been trapped in this cabin
For hours
Perhaps days,
I'm not sure
You took my watch.

he looks at the stars
and back at me
take me, i am yours
he says.

i look at him
and back at the stars

how i wish they
took me.


-- Eleanor