The suburb’s still a skeleton
but now I wear its bones.
I was backlit,
bored,
all drywall and divine punishment,
first names shouted through screen doors,
ceiling fans spinning
someone else’s damage.
I kept saying I'd leave.
I kept writing it down,
spending my stories on soft drinks and scar tissue,
but
there’s a difference between
nostalgia and necromancy.
Between naked and naive.
Between full of stars
and just
falling.
We said forever
like it wasn’t
a curse.
Like it wasn’t
already dissolving in the pollen.
I wrote hymns for mouths,
sloppy as mascara in rainlight,
that made meaning feel like a dare:
the emotional oversights
we let ruin us twice.
Flannel soul,
face like unfinished business.
He touched me with all the guilt
of a borrowed god.
Begging,
but never burning clean.
A slippery little eulogy
sprinting toward a dawn already
in someone else’s rearview.
He didn’t kiss me,
but he almost did.
And I’ve been sick about it
ever since.
An ode to night
that chews at the hem
of what we thought we were.
Being here now is
already retroactive.
Already haunted.
Intertwined
like seatbelt bruises.
A small canopied disaster,
still posing.
still pretending.
I was a rooftop girl,
and I meant it.
Which is worse, I think,
than being believed.
The sky never answered,
but I kept
sending poems.
The suburb’s still a skeleton.
I’m just better at burying
what I mistook for light.
visited my poem '9/8/15' and rewrote it with.a 2025 take.
