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AJ Jun 8
They call life a rollercoaster ride,
A thrill, a loop, a drop, a glide
But I don’t see the tracks they praise,
This isn’t thrill, it’s endless maze

A coaster ends, its path is known,
Predictable, it brings you home
But with life, where is the end in sight?
Where’s the design? Where is the right?

Life is no ride, it’s far more tight,
A chain that binds, a heavy plight
They claim I choose my steps, my way,
But choices don’t exist today

The ones around me shift the ground,
They twist my fate without a sound
You say, “It’s worth it,” from below,
But from where I stand, you do not know

My life began not with a stride,
But clinging to a mountainside
Where others stepped from stone to stone,
I climbed a cliff face, all alone

So tell me now, what hope remains
For one who scaled such sharp terrains?
I’m near the peak, with frozen breath,
Yet nothing here resembles rest

I see them laughing down below,
Their paths laid out in gentle flow
While I hang bruised with aching grip,
Each moment feels my fingers slip

This summit isn’t what I chose,
It’s just the path that hardship froze
I climbed because I had no say,
Because the world carved out that way

And though the peak is cold and bare,
At least it feels like something there
To leap back down, no solid plan,
Too far I’ve come, too weak I am

The coat I wear is thin, worn through,
It holds no heat, but hides the blue
And though I dream of stepping stones,
I know the price would break my bones

I’ve built a shelter on this height,
The mountain holds me through the night
It cradles me, yet keeps me bound,
Above the life I never found

And still, I watch the ones below,
Their lighter lives, their steady flow
And wonder, softly, with regret,
At all the things I never met
Shadow 4d
Would a board game without a goal
Still be one you'd consider playing
That seems to be the reality of existence
Obliviously wandering in hopes of purpose
Without any evidence of its confirmation
Then who's to say which path is truly right
When the destination is the same on both ends
Cadmus 3d
They asked me once,
“Why do you always take the hard path?”

I said,
“It’s not that I choose it
It’s just the only path I see.”

Not all of us are given options.

Some roads are rough
because that’s all there is.
Sometimes, life doesn’t offer a choice between easy and hard - it simply gives a road, and we walk it.
I hear them sometimes
Whispering their lies

Do you hear them?
Behind those eyes
Whispering those lies

I surrender most times
To their lies behind my eyes
Surrender to their whispering lies
I struggle sometimes with the whispers behind my eyes
I can't close my eyes
tears gather.
I can't breathe
the air is stuck.
I can't gulp
my throat is tight.

I try to plant my dream,
but land is
barren

Still, I try.
Even my conscience
mocks me.
It’s that moment when giving up feels easier, everything is against you;
but you can’t, because giving up just isn’t you.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ria Jun 11
To be in the middle is to be surrounded
By warmth, love, acceptance
I am in the middle
I have never felt so alone
Two friend groups clash
I observe
I keep to myself
I refuse to take a side
I am in the center of everything
Yet I am all alone
Bri Jun 10
Sometimes I stop eating,
just to see if they’ll notice.
Food becomes disgusting-
A horrible punishment,
A twisting of my mind and stomach.

I don’t hate food
I know I need it
Yet I still throw it away,
Hide the meal I never ate

Would they care?
If they saw the untouched plate?

I tell myself I’ll eat tomorrow.
I told myself that yesterday.

I know this isn’t kindness,
to myself.
I know this isn’t strength
It’s just a call for help.

Some days,
I just want someone to notice.
Notice what’s happening.
Notice me.
Soph Jun 9
I called you
Stranger
Friend
Best friend
Lover
Stranger.

I was addicted
Addicted to you
The way
You made me feel
Like I was special
But you ruined me
Now I ask myself
Wasn't it obvious?
So obvious

You couldn't save me
From my darkest thoughts
From my pain
From my battle inside
From the cuts I hide
Probably didn't even try
You didn't try
But did I?

You're hurting me
Yet
I can't let go
You can't let go
Just let go

It hurts to leave
Even though
You're hurting me
Why can't you leave me?
Why can't I leave you?
We're not meant for each other
Set me free
Finally free

Now I'm realizing
You couldn't save me
I couldn't save you either
You hurt me
I hurt you too
ash Jun 5
hereby i announce the signs
the tell-tale of how i met the monsters one random night
and no, i don't remember when exactly
hello! they didn’t appreciate me

i saw them in people first
shadowed creatures looking over their shoulders
creeping inside from the back
i watched them take place in their head
and in their eyes—every time i saw myself
what if—what if—what if—

they know who you are!
they know what you hide!
they will see through you, you need to disguise!
hide! mask! they'll come in the night
despise—despite everything—you need to run and find cover
you can't be bare—not in front of this world
they'll hurt more—seeing the scars you carry
blame it all on you, for the past—when you weren't so merry
they'll see through the false hope and the desires to live
they'll make you hate life more, you need to perish


then they entered my head
from people, to me—within deep—etched to the core
they haunted all my memories
they stared and made me feel obnoxious

i don't even know—why, when or how
or any of the other questions you could ask around

i have a head full of monsters and i killed them one by one
alas, only if i'd known—they replicated, gave birth to new ones

and so i live
with a demon on my shoulder
a mix of all those who brought me up altogether
and it reminds, and reminds and reminds and screams
it hollows me out, every bit from within

and sometimes i hope i'll find a way to silence it or even a simple meaning
but then i look into the eyes of others, see the mirth—the silent sly creatures—the humans that walk on this earth
and i lend my ear to the demon, let it whisper, let it carry me forward
for who am i, if i can't be scheming

and it wasn't to hurt
but to protect
no one did it for me
i learnt and played myself

never to be just a pawn in their games
the monsters ruled me out, splashed me with blood
as i walked and cut across every other piece on the board
they cheered, screamed and haunted me with all the gore
and i never laughed, only cried
all my tears, my eyes dried

i'd tell you to beware, wish you never see any
for they hold over and ensnare
everyone who's watching, they've had their own
we weren't born with monsters
but now we're the ones that are shown
bright in the light, not simply in the nights
we walk during the day—
i hate my brain.

it sneers, you know?
every time someone tries to get too close
it mocks—my reflection, i see it gripping my nerves
watch it sipping on my blood
and every moment i'm told, i’m here for you
the demon sips on my feelings
drains the word, they’re left with no meaning
and every chance i get to feel the warmth—opposite to the usual cold
it leers, peeks over, curses and takes over
it's not me if i push you away, i'd want you to know and understand and for you to stay
please get rid of him for me, for i lose strength day by day
i do not know how longer i can carry
i've got a demon on my shoulder, and it rose from all the ones i walked across
it is cross with the word, an angel at first—it just wouldn't let me be merry.
stay away- that's what i'll say

i want you near though. please stay.
empathy
something I struggle with
I'm not heartless
or lacking kindness
I just don't know how
to put myself in other's shoes
I can't see their pain
in their perspective
I see it my way
not theirs
it's a struggle
I want to be understanding
but I just can't
I wish I could be
more empathetic
but alas
I'm just a misunderstood fool
empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
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