I’m glad that I stayed
And scraped at your door like a dog.

You taught me that I should spare my nails
For those that wouldn’t let them start to bleed.

We met like two ships,
Bumping into each other,
Sailing side by side.
I patched your hull,
Bailed out your water,
Believing you’d steady your course.

But when the waters calmed,
You sailed off,
Only to return when storms stranded you,
Too wild to navigate alone.

I sounded the horn,
A signal of your drifting course.
You cut the ropes, severing ties.
Now, sailing alone,
I leave your wreckage behind.

Here I lay, alone at night,
Anxiety high, fear takes flight.
Perhaps I’m broken, beyond repair,
Alone with feelings I cannot share.
You’re at home, wrapped in peace,
While I’m trapped where my thoughts won’t cease.
Am I enough? Why not me?
Am I unworthy of love, truly?
What’s so wrong that I can’t let go,
Around in circles my mind will go.

Here I sit, alone once more,
TV humming, light faint and poor.
Maybe tonight I’ll drown it out,
But doubt creeps in, circling about.
Hour after hour, the ache won’t wane,
Devoured by this endless pain.
I’m not enough, I’m overweight,
I’m stupid, worthless, it’s all my fate.
Alone—I was made for this solitude,
Yet I didn’t have to be, if it weren’t for you.
While you sleep soundly, your heart at ease,
I’m here fighting the storm I can’t appease.
You’ll text in the morning, as if nothing’s wrong,
“How was your sleep?” as the night feels so long.

“I can’t yet,” you say, “It’s not the right time.”
“I love you, you’re mine,” yet doubt still climbs.
These words you speak, they circle my brain,
Leading me deeper into this darkened terrain.
When I’ll emerge, I cannot say,
The weight of your love leads me astray.

I love you, too, but I’m left to wonder—
Do you truly love me, or am I just under
The spell of your words, the hope I create,
When all I feel is this lingering ache?
If you did, wouldn’t you be here now?
Wouldn’t you find a way, somehow?
I know you have obligations, I get it—I do,
But doesn’t love find a way to push through?
You say she needs you—fine, I can see,
But why must it always be her, never me?

You say you don’t love her, so make it clear,
If that’s the truth, then why aren’t you near?
“It’s not finances, not her, not you,”
Then my mind concludes—it’s just me, isn’t it true?
So tell me now, set me free,
From this deep dark spiral of uncertainty.

Beneath this stone, a soul now rests,
A life once filled with endless quests.
To find the self, a journey true,
Through art and ink, a path anew.

This body, a canvas for the mind,
Etched with symbols, a story defined.
Tattoos, a testament to the heart,
Expressing truths, never to part.

In youth, a search for identity,
Grasping for answers, a fragility.
But through the brush, the pen, the needle's touch,
A self emerged, no longer in such.

The artist's hand, a guiding light,
Unlocking doors to inner sight.
Colors and lines, a language divine,
Revealing the depths of this soul's design.

Tattoos, a tapestry of life's tale,
Scars and triumphs, never too pale.
A map of experiences, a road well trod,
Etched upon flesh, a testament to the divine.

In this final resting place, a life well-lived,
A journey of self-discovery, freely given.
Through art and ink, a legacy left behind,
A testament to the power of the human mind.

May all who pass by this humble grave,
Be inspired by the life that here did crave.
To find their own path, their own true self,
And let their story be told, not left on a shelf.

For, in the end, it is not the years that matter,
But the mark we leave, the lives we shatter.
This soul, now at peace, has found its way,
A life well-lived, a masterpiece displayed.

As I see my self as a fourteen year old
I see that she was week of heart beaten
Like a dogs as I see her try to fight back
Not just for her dignity but also her dream
She finds her self getting into trouble
Her dreams crushed by bullying
As I try to talk to my younger self
I will have to tell them that it will get
Worse before it even gets better
It brakes my heart but then
I say it will get better sooner
Then later…..but she does not believe
Me but I can not push her to believe
She will have to experience the goodness at
Some point in life

A lessen learned to whisper softly to my soul
To calm the storms that rage and make me whole
Finding the courage to stand tall and bright
To shine my light and let my heart take flight

Discovering the power of my own gentle voice
A voice that soothes, that heals, that makes my heart rejoice
Learning to love the imperfections that make me unique
To see the beauty in my scars,
(there are many)
and the strength that they speak

There is strength in letting go
(self forgiveness)
of the shame and the pain
Rising above the doubts and the fears that once remained
To trust myself, and listen to my heart
To follow my intuition, and to never depart

It’s the love that I hold for myself, and the care that brings
That nurture my spirit, and allows my soul sing
I am enough, I am worthy, I am loved and I am bright
I am my own best friend, my own guiding light.

Can you meet me after midnight?
And just hold me close
I’ll show you a good time
And no one has to know

Don’t know if its love
Or more of a feeling
But if you show up
Wear something revealing

I’ll be your women
But just for the night
This doesn’t have to end up
With me in all white

But what if I want that?
Would it be wrong to want more?
We could share a love
That’s worth fighting for

I’ll meet you after midnight
And just hold you close
But what if I’m tired?
Of ending nights with no clothes

Would you be upset or angry?
If I spoke my mind
If I did would you still choose me?
If you could rewind?

So what if I want?
To be a wife that you flaunt
And not your lady after midnight
Sorry if I’m blunt

My mind, a maze, is where I wander alone. Tangled pathways overwhelm my thoughts. Seeking gentle light, I aim to find love’s embrace. Yet, shadows of chaos cloud my vision.Yearning for calm communication and connection, I desire safety and trust in every moment. Being transparent seems like a far-off dream, although it is crucial for love’s basis. Standing firm in this world of confusion, I declare: I deserve better—love that is honest and true.