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This room was taught to hold its breath,
When I return through sideways doors.
It never asks for confessions or depth—
Just witnesses how silence feels as thorns.

The world outside is daytime hinged.
But my world was stitched in neon dusk.
A phantom fang lives deep within
And bites each time I build my trust.

I move in patterns, accidentally bound—
In rituals of coping that lasted too long.
The hours know where I'll be found—
Beside myself, unwillingly wrong.

The ***** laundry I clean but don't.
A second shadow nailed at my heel.
The lamp that needs a light disagrees.
Between being fake and being who I feel.

I keep it clean—or clean enough—
My eyes are dry; my voice is clear.
My morbid truth, dressed in common fluff.
Always finds a way to disappear.

The soul—if that’s still something I hold—
Is brined in need, like selfish sin.
This isn’t wanted or considered bold.
  It's survival masquerading as skin.

I never meant to dig this much,
My lack of harmony buried in song.
But a body that's balanced upon a crutch
Is still a body—just not as strong.

I’ve made a friend with myself detached,
Though he eats a lot more than he feeds.
Whispers like he knows he's an accident.
This teaches me, what my own silence means

The habits aren't even the worst of me—
It’s what remains when they're gone.
The way my lungs choose not to breath.
Choosing not to breathe all on their own.

So, I exist in the lowercase,
Half-typed and never quite complete.
But even glitches need their place—
So here I am, on loop. On repeat…
Kalliope May 13
I knew what I was in for,
you had no ******* clue.
A runner always runs,
and despite everything, that’s what it still came to.

I don’t think you should chase me,
even if secretly,
I like to look back.

You deserve weddings and soft romance,
and I’ve never been able to promise that.
I tried to picture it,
believe me, I really did.
But I always end up becoming the angry man
I feared as a kid.

Maybe you don’t understand this,
and I don’t know how to change.
It’s easier to dress my fear as anger
than to process every trauma I’ve caged.
This is the last thing I'll say directly to you,
I have to let you let me go
My stomach does that thing—
you know, when the ghost
rests a hand there.
Not a hit.
Just a hush,
and fingernails.

Like it never left.
Like I’m the one
who forgot to feed it.

It’s always at dawn.
Or mid-laugh.
Or in line at the dollar store—
buying nail polish I’ll chew off by Tuesday
and an eyelash curler,
just in case he sees me
from across a decade.

Then you paraglide in—
a salesman who knew I’d be home.
And the floor remembers
what I worked so hard to forget.

And I gasp—like I tripped.
But I didn’t.
I remembered.

I remembered
the ghost
you left me to raise alone.

Like:
“Hi. Just passing through.
Don’t stress on my behalf.”

I nod.
And I don’t.
I keep chewing the same nail.
My eyelashes are curled.
My stomach still does that thing.

You know the one.
silvervi Mar 2021
It's all about the choices
You're in a tornado of voices
And still the power is yours:
Feel free and simply choose.
Fianzy Mar 2021
Stop looking for things to distract you.
Don’t occupy your time with silly things to keep you from facing
your mind,
your fears,
you.

Stop trying to out run yourself,
haven’t you realized you both keep the same pace.
You both have the same strengths and weaknesses.
Do something about it.
You are your own worst enemy. She knows me in and out and she knows what hurts and what doesn’t.
natalie Nov 2020
in my dreams
it makes it seem
that my life is a beautiful twisting stream.

but when i wake up
and i lie in bed,
the dreadful thoughts and feelings
coming running through my head.

i only want to sleep,
so the feelings cease to creep
up the back of my thighs,
through my spine and down my sheets.

the world makes me tremble,
and feel so nimble
my life needs to reassemble.

in my dreams, i feel it there
something that im not aware
so i do not wake,
i do not dare.
Carlo C Gomez Sep 2020
Alone here
In dark, impenetrable power

I'm named after my faces

"White light into seven colours"

Written directly on this
Prism wall

It follows a rhythm of my heartbeat

And yet I feel
I don't know me at all
Druzzayne Rika Aug 2020
Everything I try I have lost faith in me
it is the story written of my destiny
there is a lot to what could be
but the pages of my thoughts are left empty
I owe lot to the belief of my family
They're still wishing the best for me
but I want to check the exitdoor
I just have no self belief like before.
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