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Everly Rush May 9
I lie awake when night gets loud,
Inside my head, a thundercloud.
Thoughts repeat like broken tape,
No exit sign, no sweet escape.

I ask myself the same old "why,"
Until my chest forgets to cry.
The ceiling stares, it knows my face—
A ghost who can't leave her own place.

I scroll through laughs I didn’t feel,
A screen between me and what's real.
They say, "You're young, you've got the time,"
But time just loops—no climb, no climb.

I think too much, I feel too deep,
And all I want is just to sleep.
Not dreams, not light, just black and still,
To shut the mind I cannot will.

A quiet war behind my eyes,
A smile rehearsed, a thousand lies.
They wouldn’t get it if I tried—
How do you explain a landslide?

But maybe one day I’ll be free,
From all the thoughts that bury me.
And if I write them down tonight,
Maybe I’ll wake with less to fight.
January May 8
I long to weave my thinking into phrases,
before the account of nostalgic moments ceases.
I wish to pen every moment, each picture that I've beheld
and I want to word all of the yearnings withheld.

what is this madness, this endless chase?
to record on a thin sheet all that took place.
Happenings and incidents I try to compile,
is this meaningful or just futile?

For sometimes it feels they'll crawl out of me
and without a glance back, run free.
and I'd not have the strength to stand,
on my wobbling legs and stretch my hand.

I don't know if this feeling's a little gray
I know somethings that have to stay
will not require me to hold tight
yet losing them builds a fright
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