you have made it clear:
“let go of me.”
so let go i did.
request granted.

permit me this now -
to write you unmasked.
without coyness
nor shadow of pretense,
i scribble this about you:

once,
i have refused
to envelope
your memories
with fantasies,
not wanting
to mix them up.

now, though,
frustrated by reality
i have allowed
my imagination
to take its own course -  
your lips yielding against mine,
my hands trembling
as it seeks your chest,
my heart pulsating wildly
in tune with yours.

when once,
I have refused
to write you
in the beauty
of my dreams,
now
there is nothing left
of you
but the mirage
of hopefulness.

you are now my hero,
my muse,
the fancy
behind my poems.

you are so much more
than you used to be,
but only
because I have closed
my eyes
and allowed you
to be swallowed
by my heartbreak.

for j.e.
*100714

I had a friend once
who taught me
what it feels like to have someone to truly care for.

I had a friend once
who taught me
the importance of not saying
"I Love You Too."
Just because someone wants me too.

I had a friend once**
who I started to love
but now it's through
cause it was too much to lose.

(a.d)

I once told you, Miss,
that your poetry is so edgy
that I cut myself on it sometimes.
Well, I've been reading more
and I feel
at a loss for blood.

A wise man once said,
that what starves us carves us
and I have never been anywhere near you,
but I imagine holding you in my arms
would be either the worst or the best experience of my life.

You've got some jagged bits,
but I bet if you put your best part forward,
you could split a man's heart apart
in the best of ways.
Make him think of you for days after,
caught in the rapture of the pain you bring.

If I could capture a joke out of thin air,
I'd find you and give it to you,
just hoping that maybe it might possibly
make you smile.
'Cause ****.
It must be a supernova waiting to happen.
Only the death of stars could live up to such an event.

Today is the perfect day, the finest day of my death
Holding a fine bouquet like this is the perfect wreath
Those eyes are watching me while I'm wearing this wedding dress
But the queen in their eyes, has these heart and mind in a mess.

I remember the last time that we talked to each other
When you gave me that call that I won't forget forever
I was trying to be strong but my eyes were full of tears
I tried to say these words though my heart was full of fears:

"My love, at this time, I won't ask so many things from you
You have done so much for me and you know it hurts me so
I can do nothing today but just to cry over you
You'll be alone and I'm here preparing to say "I do".

But I have a request my love, the  last favor I'll ask
Before the day of my wedding, please be there, please come so fast
Don't be late, be on time, I will wait for you 'til the last
When I give my vow to him, there won't be no time for us."

And now I am walking in this humble aisle of  my grave
I take the last glance at the door for a hope that I'll be saved
But no shadow of you there, now I have to face my death
I can hear my heart's mourning from the sound of the wedding bells.

Today is the perfect day, the finest day of my death
Holding a fine bouquet like this is the perfect wreath
As I have realized how fool I am, why I believed?
Today is the perfect day, let them watch my perfect death...

Oh Muse! endow my verses like the
grease
which in a pliable state, straightens
the choppy motion.
Dear Apollo! enlighten my words like
the hell fire
that light gives, yet a sharp gaze
broils the eggs.
Oh wretched Hydes! weep but one
more time for me
for the constellation bears rain no
more.
Oh Jove! rain the one pacific upon me
for I will to drown myself today.
Ah flora! the color of spring has
blanched away
for the pompoms bloom ashen
Lovely Aurora! why you withhold
yourself from me?
She's glum with me, why trying you
too be?
Eye some Aphrodite! take care of and
preserve the winsomeness.
for the lass* knows no value, it has to
me...