I met you
We've been bestfriends
We've shared a lot of memories
We've been separated

We kept in touch
We talked almost everyday
You share everything with me

I introduced my other bestfriend to you
You guys been so close
Even you haven't seen each other yet
It seems like she knew you more than me

I was once the one whom you talked to
I was once the one you rely on
I was once your bestfriend

Did she just replace me?
Is she more than me?
I am the one who knew you for years
She just knew you for a very short period of time
Yet she acts like she's your "bestfriend"

Do I regret it?
No
Do I feel mad about it?
No
I envy her
I wish to be her
But no
I am more than her

I will understand it now
Just now
I'll be more considerate
I'm happy, you are happy
I'm fine..

was uttered in a
computer generated,
non-demeaning,
gender neutral tone
by the impersonal,
unemotional,
automated,
grocery checkout machine.

"Enter your customer ID now!"
demands the artificial human.

"And... if I don't?"
I query the metallic shell
of what once was
a minimum wage employee.

There was no reply.

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

my heart
only beat for you,
and i loved
only you.
loyal to the end,
and i thought
you were too.
but you didn't stay,
and somehow,
i didn't expect you to.