I happily extend out a helping-hand
I always communicate with you in advance
I poured my heart out to give
I am honest with you & also positive

But the minute I ask a favor of you...

You continue to give me excuses
You have delays in responding with zero solutions
You’re able to buy accessories from your wallet;
Yet, can’t pay back what you promised
You ghost me days-weeks-months until you need me again

Here’s my letter of resignation.
My loyalty & services are no longer needed, farewell old friend

Balance, once forthcoming
unsteady-
Now heavy feet wobble
in the wake of fleeting certainty

Leafy determination
crunched and battered-
Sifting about, once a wonder
dried, victim of Winter

Cracked, withered concrete
foundation chipped away-
Paint rolled over in submission
having past years to pay

Stone left to shame
smothered by the vandals-
Cruelty primped and perfected
pitying eyes serving no justice

Free fall, bound by distrust
unprecedented in the past-
Loosely sleeved history repeats
snuffing this connection all at once

Keep a secret
Tell no one
Keep a secret
The weight of a ton
Keep a secret
It's okay
Keep a secret
For one more day
Keep a secret
Don't tell
Keep a secret
Oh well
Keep a secret
Break their heart
Keep a secret
Fall apart
Keep a secret
Hurt lives
Keep a secret
Stab like knives
Keep a secret
Tell no one
Keep a secret
The weight of a ton
Keep a secret
Hurt no one

Be a secret.

you disappoint me
even when I had
expected you would,

you make me learn
my lessons once,
twice
and three times,

you are the morale
of my story
that leaves
me
before I even get to
fold page 1.

Same wretched thing,
Why try to fight it.
Numb and routine,
Just the way I like it.
A repeat it seems.
Get tedious; might it?
Numb and routine,
Just the way I like it.

Faded like a photograph
Don't want you looking at me.

I don't want to die young
Ignore my pleading
Repeat it enough times
Maybe death will pass me.

Stretched thin like nylon
Something that you see as pretty.

No blanket of security
A fog that fills my vision.
Disappear into obscurity
Waiting for recognition.

Rubbed raw by a cat's claw
Watch me as I keep bleeding.

Want someone to rely on
But you keep on evading.
Stare at me, but looked beyond
Feel myself degrading.

Pulled apart like red yarn
Fragments of me missing.

Reached out to caress you
But saw your body was gone,
Tired of this pursuit
Decided to withdraw.

Feelings like a jigsaw
Don't know if I can keep going.



© Sofia Villagrana 2020