You look in the mirror and see nothing but remorse, I look at you
and see bones and stardust.

i’m so lost and
confused

tired of my tears
and my screams
leaving me silent

my hoarse voice
and tear stained cheeks
mean nothing to you

there is no remorse
or guilt
in the way you treat me

i’m sorry
you say
but those words are hollow

and hold
no meaning to me

they are locked in a box
deep inside my mind

is this what love is

you have broken me
and now i don’t know
who i can trust

i’m afraid i am no longer
loveable

my body and mind
are in too many pieces
for someone to try and put me back together

but that word
try
is another word i have locked away

because you have taught me
that to try
is to fail

and to speak
is to disappoint

but as you taught me
you beat me down
so now

after you
there is nothing left of me
for someone else to love

and how do i explain
why i have nothing left
and that the scars covering every inch of me
are from you

how do i explain
why i think this is love

One day the gods will stumble,
The universe will crumble,
Death tolls will be double,
Earth will only be rubble,
And gravity will be fubble

The same day the oxygen will become toxic
As will trust
Become trustable

It had been 11 months since I dared burst my skull
The ghastly vision that ebbs and flows
from mirrors to walls and solemn windows
Their precarious steps clouding my neck—
bottle after bottle and their vision recedes
How swift the mind guides away from the ruptures
How swift the world seek change at unwilling ends.
Stillness at the silence of once bustling dwellings.
Cyclical patterns I once fought to leave
Elated thoughts and galactic dreams
No longer suppressed within the concrete eves

Eternal nothing would be a gift
Sweeter than death
Why do I spend this time fearing it,
My futile, foolish being.
It could be a welcomed feeling
I’d let it in
With its empty repose
And hollow bones,
And brush its cheek
tenderly
Let it enter me--
Bear it.

The river I ride will guide me down
To the hell
Where my heart owns real estate
Stakes in the barren ground
And I will be accompanied by
My great companion
The messenger and deliverer
The cog in the great machine
Of free will

The one that continually leads me to destruction
Who spreads all the lies and the half-truths
Who withholds no honesty in his brutal judgments
And provides no delusions when his subjects face harshness
Who has no face but sports his tricky mirror with

Its effacement
The dead stars reflect
The river
Sticks
catch on my hospital gown
As I climb out
To inspect
My new neighbors who live in it
They are sorry for a lot of things too.
They bear the truth:

Nothingness would be easier
Than knowing what hate can do.

the judgeful puritan
is contradiction
and yet to be a puritan
is to judge

their glass house falls
when their mirrors turn translucent