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Kayla S Nov 2024
8 months clean, relapsing would be collapsing.  

A locked bathroom door, the voices yelling - no, screaming.
I hear my mother running up the stairs, the pounding of her footsteps mimics the pounding inside my head, it's war.

I can feel blood dripping down onto the rest of my body.
The tears stream down my face as I try to let my head create a feeling of melancholy

There's sirens outside now, I know they're for me. You can see the neon purple lights from the window. I'm just waiting, waiting for death to set me free.

On the stretcher with gauze covering up the masterpiece I made to what use to be pristine skin, I close my eyes, reminding myself to stay awake. my hope stretching thin.

The voices of my neighbors, overcome the sounds of mom's sobs. I wish my own mind didn't lock me chambers.
It's my first poem on here and really just me testing my creativity with my own life experiences. I hope whoever sees this likes it! <3
Rose Oct 2024
It feels all too familiar,
this emptiness in my chest,
No, no, no-not again,
please let my heart rest.

I fought so hard,
to leave that dark hole,
now I'm falling back in-
how do I save my soul?

I can't do this again,
I'm so scared.
I can't go back...
I almost died there.
welp
Elena Sep 2024
Reach the goal
Cold hands hold me
Bony hands hold me
Freezing from your hugs
Stomach hurts - just for fun
Eyes are dull
Brain is foggy
Numbers keep falling
Reimers Jun 2024
Here again, it’s all so familiar,
The empty space I carved for myself,
A void that brings me solace,
Far from the world's embrace.

This time, I entered willingly,
Unlike before, when ignorance guided me.
It’s different now; I can choose to leave,
Yet in this toxic, dreadful silence, I find comfort.

No longer weeping in the corner,
Everything shifts, but the feeling persists,
The heaviness in my chest—
As if the rain never ceased.

Bloodstained puddles on the floor,
Grim reminders of past hardships.
Each reflection a testament,
To all I've survived.

Maybe I’ll linger a bit longer,
Wandering endlessly through this void.
I’ll escape eventually, won’t I?
I can get out… right? Someone... please...
tierney morris Aug 2023
The smell of a cigarette will always bring me comfort
And soon enough
That taste that entered my lips
Bought me comfort too
The melancholy feeling of inhaling that smoke
Exhaling it slowly
As if it’s an unhealthy breathing technique I need when I’m panicking
Breathe in, Breathe out
The sadistic flavour lingers in your mouth for hours
Reminding you of your relapse
Your mistakes
Reminding you that he will no longer love you if he smells the cancerous aroma on your breath
You ******* up
No matter how much it helps to inhale and exhale that smoke
Taste that bitter flavour of tobacco
Breathe in, Breathe out
You quit once before to improve your health
But here you are
Breathing it in and out
Until the guilt eats you alive
And that smell of cigarette
No longer reminds you of a simpler time
But rather that you’re forever going to disappoint those you love
The light on the cigarette goes out
Just like the light inside of you
You’re both dead
And soon
You’ll be discarded too.
Hawley Anne Mar 2023
Tattered wings,
now all that remains,
cradled her body,
in her own personal chains.

Trapped and tormented,
her sharp thoughts inside,
remind her she's nothing,
self hate intensified.

Where once she saw beauty,
only blackness remaind,
in the dead of the night,
shadows called her by name.

Whispers surround her,
they beckon from darkness,
she longs to go with them,
but she must remain cautious.

She knows who they are,
and just what they want.
She fought hard to escape them,
she knew they would taunt.

She had washed her hands clean,
and turned her back on them.
She had never wanted,
to see them again.  

With one small misstep,
she will be tumbling down,
no one to catch her,
before she hits the ground.

Laying broken and ******,
and all out of hope,
she wishes for death,
and reaches out for the rope.

Her demons have claimed her,
they have taken her whole.
She tried and she failed,
Crystal **** stole her soul.
Every morning I wake up blind.
Bask in my reflection, I feel like hot **** I feel like fresh hell
I feel fine.
I want to strip my skin clean;
Tear off tissue like toilet paper spill blood red like wine
I want to stop this beating heart every
Every night but ohh
I just haven't got the ******* time.
Instead, I smother myself in your covers,
And you watch as I try and pick ants,
One by one
by one by one
Out my spine
And there are none to be found nothing to find.
I could've sworn I put them there myself, but who knows?
Every morning
I wake up blind.
M Jul 2022
Faking it til I make it,
but there's a monkey on my back.
This normal way, I have to say,
is starting to show cracks.

Turn up to work and get boring **** done,
be nice to the ******* who think they are fun.

Clean up my jokes and censor my speech,
**** corporate blood like a well behaved leech.

I'm dying inside and I know this ****'s killing me.
I feel the old poisonous tentacles pulling me.

Just get ****** up,
and **** it all off,
live your worst life,
the one that you love.
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