You may see colors and a world that is free. When I open my eyes everyone is expecting good things from me. I struggle to breath in this cage without a window or door. Black and white, white and black-I feel as if to be under attack. Do I wait for one more year to pass or attack back? I want to be me but then all of a sudden there's something wrong with me? I seem so sad, I look so depressed. I'm okay, I'm not under any stress! Laughing in the back of my head because being me rather than the person I set up in their heads make them all think I've lost my sanity instead!

NoT yet hAVe i GonE mAD!

I have not ripped my memory's to shreds! I don't need more meds. Am I really seeing all these things or is it just in my head? Attack! Attack! Knock down the cage walls white and black! Black and white! Depressed in stress I wear a bullet proof vest; they strap me tight in the jacket without care, lock me up and watch me disappear.

Jumping up
screaming
your fingernails tear
the wallpaper that was never there
walls
crumbling down
where are you now?
*You're pyschotic

Days are dark
Roads are bare
Birds and all sorts of animals are hidden.
Everyone is gone.
Hiding from the monster that I've become.
A realization has occurred to me.
This is all my fault, no one else is to be blamed.
Hahaha
This is  so funny, I can't stop my tears from flowing.
Where are you? Please come back.
I don't want this. I didn't mean to do everything I've done.
I will never throw you away.
Who am I fooling?
I don't want you back.
Stay away from me.
YOU! You who brought pain in my life should die.
I wish you happiness.
I wish you death.
Once you cross this road I will make sure that no one will ever see you again.
Today the sun will never rise.
Not a single creature could live in this hell I created.
Prepare to die if you dare step on this land.
This is mine.
Mine alone and no one else.

I found myself rocking on the floor again today
But I don't know how I got down there or how I felt so calm.
As you screamed at me trapped in the bathroom
I felt a smile slowly creep on my face
As I imagined myself taking my razor out of my pocket and using it to slice your face open.
It looked so beautiful covered in blood
With your jaw hanging open
And hearing you scream at me to stop.
I did like you for a while
When you cried it made me feel better because now you can know how it feels to constantly be in agony
Writhing and clenching your stomach
Coughing blood
Every.
Single.
NIGHT!!!!!
And as your voice got louder and louder
I began to laugh
Because your anger was so intriguing.
When you threaten to **** me
It gets me so high
I feel like a kid on Christmas day.
Im not suicidal but if you put the gun to my head I'll do whatever I can to get
You to pull the trigger
If you held a knife to my throat
I'd step just a little closer to feel the
Stony ice blade against my already freezing skin.
I'm psychotic mommy I can feel it deep inside.
I can feel it in the clouds
And see the tent in the sky....
The tent....
It makes me think of him
Andi stop laughing for the tender spot that hinders...
The roses start to wither
And the air gets thicker...
I breathe in blood and I noticed I've sliced my throat
But I feel fine
I feel bliss.
If I were a god just for a day
If I had the power to just pick off people one by one
Or take them by the plenty...
Whisk them off of this filthy
Filthy ******* ******* you**
Call a ******* earth.
I'm so pathetic.
So pathetic!!!!!!
IM A HORRIBLE ******* *****!!!
Mommy????
Mommy?? Why do you lock my bedroom door at night when I'm sleeping?
I said I was sorry
And I never wanted to hurt you again.
You said Daddy died but why is he standing above you??
Mommy please don't go.
I'll try to be a better child.
Why do you hate me??
YOU STUPIDFUCKING *****!!
ANSWER ME!!!!
I love you..

Disclaimer: work is purely fictional. it's kind of ******/macabre and very dark. It's a very dark limmerick. So, that's that. This is not real, to just make things clear. Haha. Don't know how I thought of this but... yeah.



Today I lost my friends
Told them today was the end
With a smile on my face
Their faces were a disgrace
On the last day of my friends

Today I lost my friends
Told them today was the end
Their limbs now scattered
Their eyes have watered
On the last day of my friends

Today I lost my friends
Told them today was the end
Feasted on their fears
Quenched thirst thru their tears
On the last day of my friends

Today I lost my friends
Told them today was the end
Once all of them dead
I bathe in crimson red
On the last day of my friends

It went like this:

Wouldn't talk, not even about my problems
There were so many options to help me solve them
But I missed them all, blinded by hurt
A hurt I didn't welcome, a hurt I didn't deserve

Bullied by kids with bigger problems than mine
So I came up with my own helpful design
I'd cause my own pain, over and over again
Because, after all, no pain no gain

But all I gained was a real bad habit
A real bad habit that stopped me feeling like ****
So I thought it was good, I mean cuts heal
But they heal into scars, not part of the deal

I just wanted something I could handle
But now, unfortunately, they became visible
Questions, questions, from family and friends
I though, Oh God, does it never end?

And guess what?
I still said nothing
Now look at me
Three hundred turns of the cycle later
Now I'mma see a psych and be a fixed psych-o

I hear the scratching in my walls all night
It sounds to sinister it gives me a fright
It could be mice or maybe legions
Of some really ******* ****** demons
I hope it's just my ****** up imagination
Not again, my own damnation
Guess I'll just lay here and wait for the screaming
I've past insane, there's no redeeming

There is always something in the blood
Something fascinating even for a god
The rush of euphoria and high
whenever a blade cut comes nigh

The thick red syrup of life
Like rubies cascading on flesh pipes
The feeling you get when
You have cut your skin open

The act is mildly repulsing
Yet, to watch it is deeply fascinating
As you see your life flow by
And lose it in a blink of an eye

The only question once you go high
When Death is sitting nearby
And all hopes come to die
Is one on your lips so dry

How long will it last?