lamplight through the leaves
leave and let me love
let me be and live my life
to die, doggishly

puddles gathered
muddled and battered
dry in the heat of the day
rather to go on
than hang on
to life lived

for shame to those
who cling
for going, is such a kind thing

i wish i had said no to you
i think about it all the time

i can’t let [ it ] go
i wish i could forget
( if i don’t think about it, it won’t hurt.. right? )

i swear i had said no to you
maybe you just didn’t wanna hear it

i can still feel your hands on me
i wish i had made you listen
( pretending something didn’t happen doesn’t make it so )

i took pills instead of chances
i thought i was healed
but this is only the beginning

there’s no failing
it’s a process
slow progress is still progress

forgive yourself
keep going
keep g r o w i n g

hurt as long as you need to
hurt as LOUD as you need to

Ringing in the background.
It follows me around to announce itself
Uninvited, to fill the gaps of my distraction.
It reminds me of what I have yet to achieve
Yet I argue back my lack of energy
We settle on coffee.
Once a week or twice
I seek to bring about a daily change
That laughs in the face of painful reality.
So until it happens, I'll watch the grass
The wind the moon the goddess
Her welcoming my change.

Coming out
Into the world,
After a sure start
With nowhere to go now
Almost choking
At being an adult
Living life,
As it was laid out
By nature and nurture
Unfazed by my own religion
Or the world outside,
Never talked
To the guy upstairs
But living used to be sacred,
Is now all but sacrilege
If it were always
My plan versus his
I never stood a chance
But there's a sense
Of burdened freedom
Along with a sense
Of joyful realism
To be happy
any chance you get,
A fine ventriloquist
He's got his ways
Makes you admire
The work he does,
While pondering
The meaning of life,
The fine line
Between right and wrong,
Trying to get some
sense of control
Thinking of pulling
One up on my destiny
Of saving my soul
Not selling out
To this facade
Of what we call progress
But maybe I should
Just stay a while
And enjoy this blissful anaesthesia,
Monitored by the man himself.

A lifetime of growing old;
Always looking back:
Motown, Northern Soul,
Joy Division, Happy Mondays.
No time for the new.
There is nothing new.
Put the tune on
Stop my brain thinking for 128 seconds.

French Nouvelle Vague,
Hong Kong suave.
If the past is a foreign country,
I want to buy a house there.
2 steps forward
3 steps back
Always looking back.

Miss the future
Recreating the past.
Progress turns to static.
The future is another planet
And I'm scared of space.
Moving forward in life
But always looking back

I don't want to be another parking meter
Adding up the charges of a retail favor
Cast a decent look on all the in-sensation

     tell me does it hurt, tell me does it worth?