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Inspired by
Krista Delle Femine
~Still the Fool~
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I always find myself here
With little to no explanation
I'm thinking it's because I elicit fear
They avoid my intensity
Every bombastic and overcharged emotion that overflowes from me
I believe they mean to
But they seem to pull themselves through
It's always something I did
Or didn't do
It's so much rejection
I've lost track of the lesson
It's only humility
And wanting from someone
Something they don't have for me
They often pretend
Put up a good front and deny the lie
I have to keep all of me inside
And leave it for everyone else to interpret what one of my issues it could be
Then it falls on me
Only on me
We don't have to wait and see
What I can't be
Even alone I can't be free
Not really
I'm still the fool writing about this
Letting them live rent free in my poetry

©2024

I guess my calling is free fallin'
I realized about halfway back, this parachute will never open
Lost all hope right then
Still forced to listen to a double backed friend playing pretend
As they defend a shallow position
But sure, I'll humor you, go ahead,
Tell me how exactly I am suppose start again
While I dangle here in suspended animation
Somewhere around the middle of my end
And on the day I meet the ground I shall call it friend

©2024

Wether recorded digitally or with a pen
With or without hitting send
Questioning the subject matter, real or pretend?
They're all just thoughts that don't bend
The only ones I have over and over again
Not even hinting at an end

©2024

I'm no one of note
Just a mediocre bloke
Your run of the mill common folk,
Shiit kickin', suburban cowpoke
Someone not even I would pretend to promote
Dreamscapes often bleak and remote
You probably do what I don't,
Can do what I can't,
Will do what I won't
Sunk my personal rescue boat,
Fleeing the scene,
Trying to free myself from myself with little hope
Got caught up in a well known insecurity mote
The dangerous cesspool where the mindless float
Where I often mope
You might think that's the conclusion,
But nope
You'll know when
This story's about to end
At the first mention
Of the proper tension
For a danglin' hangin' rope

©2024

Whether or not they take their life,
I’m half heartless to all despise.
Martyrdom mine two times of strife,
All souls have a rising demise.
I dare not seek to have revenge,
Knowing my eyes do not lie, see?
What words I say could make you cringe,
Why I stigmatized upon thee?
Chance after chance, year after year,
Always open to soon forgive.
What more to say no longer tear,
Turn to apologize, outlive…
What left half heartless to amend,
When no longer heart to pretend…

I've already cried these tears, no need to cry them again
Wasted too many years behind pretend perfection
Faced my fears, even call a few of them friend
And no, they are not pretend
Attempted to flip enemies to allies, no more than a means to an end
But a good decision it was not, because the I I thought I was went missin'
Forced to change the base mission
Another unwanted end
A new forced new beginnin'
Ready or not, do we have to go again?
What are they odds the next one will be a win?

©2024

I'm not a good lover, no good at hand in hand
Never not been exposed, still I pretend
The real me casually breaks free,
What do I do then?
No suggestion comes in
It's what goes around then comes around again and again,
When will it end?

Nobody knows...
...I let no one in so no one knows the situation


I'm not a good adult, I'm not a good friend
Never not been exposed, why do I still pretend
The real me awkwardly breaks free,
What do I do then?
I suggest hide the specimen within
It goes around then comes around again and again,
Is it going to end?

Nobody knows...
...search and rescue called off for no reason

I'm not a good man, I'm not a righteous person
Never not been exposed, I've given up pretendin'
The real me aggressively breaks free,
What do I do then?
Didn't we call each other friend?
What goes 'round, right 'round comes right 'round 'round again and again,
It's just not gonna end

Nobody knows...

©2024

Even Doc Holliday had one friend
I don't even have one someone who'd pretend
Or one that's pretend
Maybe it's my fault, I am noticing a common thread
But what do I even matter, what does it even matter in the end?

©2024