I lay my head on the concrete pillow..
Knowing it's another sleepless night..
Haunted with your eyes..my dearest love..
My worst enemy..
If passion was meant to be warm..
Then why is this cold dark void tightening my chest?

I lay my head on the stone pillow..
All I needed was two days..
For me to become an outcast..to hide under the sheets..
My anguished soul demands relief..
Crushed like the petals of a withered rose..
Slowly embracing decay..gladly welcoming death..
All it took was two days..
For me to reach the verge of insanity..
A shattered piece of glass..a train going nowhere..

I lay my head on the iron pillow..
In this mess of mine..nothing seemed so clear before..
How plastic life is..how phony friends are..
As I stare at the scarlet pool of blood on my iron pillow..
I realise it was you,my curse,who showed me..
That their smiles hide hatred..their embraces hide a knife behind your back..
That power is only for the ones who fear not killing to claim it..
That adulthood is a lie designed by governments..
To cage our sheltered whispers..
Uttering the words of peace and war..
To suffocate the memories of childhood out of our veins..
We can stay young forever,my sin..
Just keep dancing..and I'll stay mesmerized with my femme fatale..
Still out of my reach..

I lay my head in the wodden pillow..
Remembering the short time we had..
clenching to every moment..grasping every detail..
The your body sways..the sweet aroma of you golden locks..
my burning desire to taste the rouge off your lips..
How hard you tried..that lingerie you hide..red as the scarlet pool of blood on my wodden pillow..
Blessed is your dress..revealing what's hidden..a feast of beauty to my eyes..
And when you sat next to me..our hands inches apart..
So close..yet so far you were from me..
On that scorching day of summer..

I lay my head on the feather pillow..
The pool of blood is larger now..
the water tastes gloomy..sunshine brings sorrow..
Meaningless is the sound of snowflakes descending calmly on the ground..
Pointless is my dance..without a partner..without you in the crowd..
So I scream..as hard as my lungs allow..
Nothingness echoes back..the embodiment to my fears..
All it took was two days..
For you to live an eternity in my dreams..
But when my eyes open..
Without you..my endless regret..
Nothingness is my pillow..
void..plays the final sonata in my heart..

Hitting the pillow.
Drifting off for the evening.
No worries for now.

head to pillow
just staring blankly at the floor.
This feels all too familiar
I thought to myself
as waves of fear rippled back.
hours pass.
head to pillow
that familiarity unknowingly lingering in the back of my head
body freezes as it makes its way forward
until it’s all I can feel.
Waves crash yet no salt streams down my face
No matter how calm
the winds and waters will find a time to collide

So much laughter, anger and secrets are hidden in my walls.
From a time that is no more.

I can still hear them sometimes, like a tape playing.
Taking me back in time.

So much love, anxiety and tears engraved in my pillow.
From a time that is no more.

I can still feel it sometimes, when I'm in a confused moment thinking you're right beside me.

So many smiles, hugs and stolen kisses my mirror has witnessed.
From a time that is no more.

I can still picture it sometimes, but the face staring back at me is filled with pain.
Swollen, from the tears that won't stop falling.