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Abacus  
Click clack
Sliding of beads
So therapeutic
To see how this became that
What makes up the whole
                           Touch each fraction

No need for equation of form
To find value of one emotion
                               Against a known
Or
Tangents
Ometries
Expression of signs
                          
When the only calculus of interest
                                    Is sum of self
my mistakes i see
clearly good deeds are empty
why
the wisdom of speed
mind is underdown and deep
it tells you listen
Dom 2d
They enter my home,
Cheap suits, bad cologne.

We talk, endlessly
Needing to break for water,
Laughter and short jokes
But the tone never truly shifts.

I hand them the keys
So they can open the doors
Chat histories explored,
Timelines secured,
Screenshots validated

They ask me if I feel threatened,
I protest that while I do the focus should remain on kids
They offer information not yet known,
I take in the aroma of such sweet tea
And drink it down with a knowing nod.

They show me things not yet seen,
And I confirm the rhetoric used to abuse this barely teen.

They thank me for my time,
And I am greeted by another offensive word
Of cheap cologne.

The walls get smaller for a predator
When they become the prey
You can fool yourself into finding Jesus
But the law won't let you get away if you pray

The walls close in on a cyber-stalker
See the news has broken all over the place,
And you took the liberty to threaten me while they were over the shoulder
How do you feel knowing that it's almost over?

The walls are closing in
And the arms are breaking through,
Soon you'll smell the scent of cheap perfume and cologne
And once the dark shadows rip you from your skin
Know that the monster you chase is the one in the mirror
If truly sober, homer, d'oh yourself while tyring to see clearer.

The wheels of justice move slowly.
kisss kiss, the truth has been released, the suited g-men have taken what they need, they are moving onto the next interviewee. Ah the things i KNOW, the things i could say, but why give away spoilers? Its better this way
Mariah 2d
No matter what I find
I'm so glad I chose to hide
Instead of doning a disguise

I waited until I could find
A place that wasn't just in my mind
To trust myself to be alive

I'm so proud to be in a place
To no longer believe it when they say
I was born a certain way

The rage
It comes from a true place
My heart of hearts true faith
I refuse to replace
With self hatred
For their own sake

Instead of shaving down
The life I've built around
The one that I burnt down

I'll protect it with that same rage
You told me was my worst mistake

And when you see me face to face
with regret
I'll **** doubt instead
It takes time.
Dom 3d
Defiant, I won’t budge
Unburdened by eyes that judge,
What am I supposed to fear?
I’ve seen hell and met the devil
I’m absolved of contrition.

Do you want to see blood?
Wish to break my skin like ceramic
See the red spill and maybe watch me panic
But I’m made of granite,
Please take me for granted
Swing and watch as bones fold
Crumble, dirt piles I climb
Why would I be humble?

Life shackled to the sun
Not sure how many more turns I have,
But If I’m spinning vinyl then I guess —
Maybe I should impress with a new sound
Parroting the last, in parody at last
We can both share the last laugh
Languished in an ice bath
Cool down the war machine
And let the time-lapse.

I hate everything you are,
Down to the way you nasally breathe,
Down to the way your hair reacts to a breeze,
The way you betray nature by ******* on leaves
And call it poetry when you release
I bet you feel oh-so relieved I’ve taken leave
But trust me, lyrical bullets don’t miss
When I’m allergic to lies and sneeze truths.

I am no fool
You drew the Joker,
Place your bets,
Know I haven’t lost a hand yet.
Defiant, I won’t budge
kiss kiss
A. Euclidian

I’ve been a lantern to light your dark days
Tried to unlock those purgatory closed-doors
Torch inside a foggy two-lane highway
So you didn’t run off course.

Just give me back,
15 years of this oneway relay
No answer back just hearing my echoes
I wouldn't have shown all my secrets
Could have kept all my flaws.

I hope to god, one day you read this,
See what I’ve spilled through a torrent of sequence
Leave it all like some ancient bygone,
A faded face on a discarded farthing.

I’d do anything just to come up for air
But I swear, even when I fall deeper
It feels like I’m choking.

Piece it like a jigsaw
Place me on a shelf with all that’s forgotten
Don’t mind the sneeze, it’s just the dust.
I won’t bother you with these dead-eye stares
Wondering if you ever read a thing or understood what was there.

Run it back to what I used to die for
Anima hanging on an unkept tree floor
Under these dead oak canopies
Waiting for sapphire eyes to rescue me.

It was always love
That hill I’d die on
And now that the sword’s been pulled
What could I lie upon?

I’d do anything just to come up for air
But I swear, even when I fall deeper
It feels like I’m choking…

B. Bleeding Ink

Is it taboo—
When I grab this pen
And go deep into the dermis
I let the vampire drink from me again?

It feels like a tattoo—
When the blood hits the blue
And I’m etching my life in lines.

Permanent like these scars
Are they just wounds that forgot to heal?

Is it taboo—
When I let the tears fall
I painted with red mixed in.

It feels like a tattoo—
When the canvas of these words
Is what resides in my skin.

C. The End Complete

Impeach the day,
Retreat tonight
Scurry to the shadows
Swim into the shallow
I’m drowning again.

My mind divides,
As the past repeats
Memories on an endless loop
Still so far, further from finding the truth.

There was a magic,
That stole the sun that shined
And the moon was a beauty
I thought I could leave behind.

But all these arms clawing from their coffins
Reaching up like the needy for open coffers
Hoping I feed them a line to stop their deep hurt
But if I may, show the ink on the page
It’s paid in blood and my rent is due.

Impeach the day,
I want to retreat tonight
Scurry back in my shadow,
Swimming in the shallow
Why does it always feel like I’m drowning?


I hope to god, one day you read this,
See what I’ve spilled through a torrent of sequence
Leave it all like some ancient bygone,
A faded face on a discarded farthing.

It feels like a tattoo—
When the blood hits the blue
And I’m etching my life in lines.

Permanent like these scars
Are they just wounds that forgot to heal?

Sorry, I couldn’t answer the phone —
I just have to leave this part of me behind.
What a wild ride, life has been.
Tell me how to end the story
When the plot runs heavy
And I’ve lost all the glory.

All of my years
Spent trying to fit in
I feel alone on this stage
Alien to my own skin.

No one told me,
If I shouted out loud,
That all of my worries would
Catch me from the crowds

An nobody told me,
Sifting through clouds,
That in chasing heaven
I resembled a clown.

So if you hate me now,
Go on and give me your worst advice
I’ll take your daggers,
If only I can end this life.
Seems like no one engages with me any more, and all I do is encourage and try to write my feelings. Maybe my pain doesn’t resonate with others and that’s okay…maybe I should retire my pen.
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