Lying down in just a T-shirt
I can only hear myself breathe
In and out
In and out
Why did you always shout?

I swear I'm trying my best
It's been months since I've shed a tear
But tonight, I dry my eyes
Close my eyes
Sick of all your lies

These four walls witness my sobs
I don't want to keep it in anymore
I'm breaking down
Torn down
There's only silence, no sound

My mind goes numb when they say your name
My heart pounds, I can't breathe
Flying away,
I'm flying away
I can't feel my body –as I lay

Here you are, still won't admit your mistakes
My God! My hope fractures
No gravity
There's no gravity
I'm hanging in between —you and me

And if my lungs continue to suffocate me,
I will let it over take me.
I will just close my eyes,
And maybe someone will hear me say goodbye.

When you say that life is easy,
a little frustration is as bad as it gets,
I ask you what you were doing at age six.

were you running through the park?
playing with your friends?
doing nothing much?
careless of the world?

What if your whole life is determined at age six?

When I say that life is hard,
it's never been a good thing,
you ask me what I was doing at age six.

I was running through the fields, hoping I'd forget.
I talked to almost no one,
doing nothing much.
I cared too much about the smallest things and just hoped that it would stop.
It never stopped.

Six was the age I accepted that I would never be happy.
I knew I was different but I thought it would fade,
that maybe I'd forget and be able to stay.

But my whole life was determined at age six.

The darkness that surrounds you,
Comes from inside you,
Those attacks of panic,
Making you sink like the Titanic,
You try and try to stop the water from coming in,
But the hole in your heart is too big,
Between death and life,
Throughout your strife,
Throughout your battle,
I am completely rattled when those doors open in your heart,
They let all the water come in,
And down you go,
Like a gun and a doe.