****** words paint the flowers a crimson red.
A dove recites the end of all mankind.
Rounding out his edges and sharpening his knives.
Amorous lovers ride the wave of life.
Heart worms my body still tries to burn away.

Kindly, I delude god and myself into a dream.
Every mindless prayer, my secrets scream.
And only my love remains.
To this day, he accepts the woman he lost.
Opals eyes that cry remorse.
No reply.

I can live without the friends I knew.

And each and every missing piece.
Morose taxidermist lives her dreams.

Sullen chords play the lonely song.
And I tell myself that I am strong.
Do the roses in your garden look pretty?

We shared a pain,
                                   cracks spreading over both our porcelain faces.
                             If i told you,
            would the fissures begin to fade?
Would you feel loved?

                                                         ­                        (or would you hide away?)
                                                      Coul­d we talk at night?
                                     As the chasm we both feel begins to gape,
         as our hearts ache and the distractions fade?

(or would you hate me?)

Would you come for me
In my darkest hour?
No my heart won't bleed
It just turns sour
This rotting flesh
Inside my chest
Only causes pain
Turning me insane

I saw eyes on every wall
I swear I saw you fall
Thought you died
But you were still alive
It was all in my mind
Our lives became entwined

I don't wanna write about you anymore
I'm tired of my heart growing sore
Im happy to see you've moved on from me
Im ready to let go and let you be
But the way you hurt me still aches deep

I asked you to come for me in my darkest hour
But you pulled away and my heart turned sour
I tried to rely on you
But you couldn't follow through
Clingy, codependent, smothering, decaying goo
Sometimes I feel that's all I was to you

So now we'll just be friends
And that's how the story ends

The advice was
'Support him,
try to help him.
He needs sleep when he’s tired
(even if it’s all day).'
'Try to talk to him,
he’s hurting inside.
Help him,
he needs you.'

I believed that,
and I tried.
I tried until
I felt almost gone
My words disappeared!
A glass pane formed
between myself and the world.

I didn't know
I could go too far.
Give too much support.
No-one says that,
who would have thought?

I didn’t know
support can become a crutch.
He could settle,
no need to improve.
Who would have thought?

Depression is real.
It just doesn’t mean
that you are first always,
or that you don't need to try
or talk to your spouse.
That was just -
taking advantage.

The apple of my eye
The sun in my sky
Even though it feels like needles in my nerves
I keep those memories close by
On my toast I’m smearing strawberry preserves
The day that I’ve gotten justice is the day he’ll get what he deserves
I’m manifesting my own death
Fantasizing taking my last breath
I can’t melt my favorite wax cubes because all they do is remind me of you
I can’t listen to my favorite song because all I hear when I listen is your sweet little voice singing along
His heart was in my wallet
I’m crying cause I called it
I wrap an arm around myself in attempts to find some solace but I’m missing my other half
I tell myself I know where I’m going but I’m scared to continue down this dark and narrow path
But I know I’ve got to be strong
I don’t want to be where I don’t belong
I swear these days are getting real long
I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong