This entire empire of dirt and manure is about to expire
I'm not gonna lie, between you and I, I wish I was a lier
My mind though is compulsive when lighting it's pants on fire
Nose long as a telephone wire, front and center like a town crier
And the shiit that I get from myself and the public stacks higher and higher
I know exactly what's about to transpire
Yet I always make it worse, never better
Like a water geyser to a grease fire
I'll forever be a fumblin', bumblin' reality denier
Faced with a situation that can only be described as dire
When you've only ever been able to hire a blind get-a-way driver
There's no chance of escaping this hell, life organically becoming satire

©2024

If you care promise to never let me know
Never turn around, never let it show
Don't point out the stretch that turned friend to foe
It's far too late to pray it ain't so
But nothing was nurtured, allowing nothing to grow
So, if you want to stay please, for me, tell yourself no
And just go

©2024

How long should my sadness last?
When will it come to an end?
Will it ever stop? For a split second, I might feel happiness touching my heart, but then waves of grief washes over me.
Still, for what length of time should I cover the bridges of my eyes to hide the tears that are starting to well up?
Still, how long should I continue to act as I'm alive  though I'm dead?
when will the world realize that i was dead inside a long time ago...

I'll be better here sometime right before never,
I swear
Not trying to be clever
I'm being sincere
Just can't assign a specific timeline to recover
I've tried it,
Found it only helped set up the next failure
The one that's already lurking around each and every corner
I stand defiant, against my own self preservation order,
Almost daring it to leap from the darkness a couple corners sooner
I'm not trying to be negative either
Life is an iffy endeavor
But I don't not get it,
I can see it from the view of the average observer
It's gotta look like a recipe for disaster
But it's better than what I see in the mirror
Something I won't need a memory to remember
Branding me with this, scared flesh on each wrist,
A gut wrenching reminder
The kind that can only linger forever
Stalking me from the edge of what I'll be able to remember
But it'll get better...
...they swear

©2024

I scoff in embarrassment
At myself
And shrug a cold shoulder
As emotions threaten to boil over
Jealous of a fictional character
When one hears from the other
That they'll be friends forever
Forever
Has never
Been a player
In my endeavor

©2024

"i can finally be happy " i thought
after letting you go
but now u haunt me in my dreams ,my thoughts
and most importantly in my memories