now we're left missing
the you you were before you got hurt
more so, i'm sure,
than you miss your old self
but then again,
there's no such thing
as a new and old self
there's just you
you, that's not exactly yourself
could be, not anymore,
not at all
or not so much
you
there's just the you before
you had to deal with his *******
the you before
you looked at it
as if it was a necessity
to fake smiles
when really,
it's the ugliest existing thing
in this world
there's just the you who held too tight
with both hands onto him
or not at all
so you could cover your eyes instead
there's just the you
before he left you to crumble
and the you now.

I am but
           A sheep
Who can sport the wolf's
           Clothes.
        Here I stand,
      Called to battle,
    With a heart made
           Of gold.

It used to be a need like addiction.
Broken creeping open at the seams.
One person one relentless affliction.

You've been my remedy.
Ointment to my pains.
Soothing the carcinogens in my veins.

Its taken time countless characters.
You've weeded out the unwanted.
Fear and weakness thwarted.

A love incomparably intense.
My perspective now shifted.
Like a viscous veil you lifted.

Building on what's left of me.
You are no longer my necessity

You are a flower,
Your body is a stem.
Flowers require lots of water and nutrients.
Sunlight is vital for a plant to live. like a plant,
we all need some light in our life.
You are my light.
Brightening my day.
I cannot survive without your touch, taste, and love.
It's a daily necessity.
Your face is the beautiful flower attached to your stem.
Without light,
The beauty is not there.
The flower dies.
I am nothing without you.
I am a flower.
Without you, my beauty is unseen,
I am dead inside.
You are vital for my survival,
I need you.

Sleepless nights always start the same
A shaking I can’t control
I chill all over
I know somethings wrong
It keeps me awake
Often it has the same effects
Eventually the shaking turns to rocking back and forth
Tears spring to my eyes like a soldier at attention
Late at night I can’t handle it
it ruins my efforts at being distracted from the causes
I break down
I stop what I doing and sob
as the soldier tears rappel down my cheek to my chin
and dive off the edge
Sleepless nights are the loneliest
I sit there afraid
Of losing you
Of myself
Of myself without you
I can’t bear to be without you
Losing you is the crippling fear
in the back of my mind
that keeps me lying awake at night
and on nights like these it’s the worst
it seems real
like i’ve lost you with no chance of return
Last time i had a night like this
you sent me “love you too”
i kept it on my phone to look at it to reassure myself
last night like this i looked at that message 16 times
scared that it would change
i can’t sleep on a night like this when i don’t have you
i need you more than sleep
i need you more than life
i need you more than anything