Peace is something to die for
To dive for
Deep into uncomfortable waters where confrontations swim quickly with sharp teeth of yesteryears hurts, scars and disappointments
To wrestle against the currents of emotional immaturity and pride in the deep and dark abyss of normalcy.

Hiding hurt in plain sight, veiled, covered up like dirt under the carpet so that no one can see the harm that has been done but never reconciled.
The narcissist within you thinks you know the reason behind everything you see or feel, you’ve already figured out a story where you’re justified and as for me, you say I should let it go.
Life is too short to relive old pain.

Your peace is a false god.
Your peace has won no battles , your peace has no scars , your peace is nothing but a curtain that hides the ugliness of human condition that you are not emotionally mature enough to process.
Your peace is the absence of conflict.
My peace is its resolve.
To stitch the wound
To mend the heart
To soothe the soul
Again, to start
Anew, with you to know you deeply,
To love you deeply.
If life is so short, then why are we waiting
To start again

You see the love, you see all of the broken parts, you see the monster with the glazed eyes that looks just like them—yet, unreachable. you see the hurt little boy that desperately needs to protect themselves to never be seen the way their father saw them—so they lie, manipulate, hate you for seeing their brokenness, for seeing them at all. And still you hold your arms out openly— to be their safe place, the enduring, unwavering, unconditional love that doesn’t leave, the love that doesn’t require perfection, the love that whispers—over and over—you are more than enough, I choose you, trust me to let all of this go, you are safe now.

And still — they break you

I don't love you, nor you me                                                               ­                                               
   We are fused together in misery                                                           ­                                       
   Once hidden from visibility                                                       ­                                         
Now we radiate hostility                                                        ­                                            
    No more I love You's are said,                                                            ­                                                
Insults get hurled instead                                                                          ­                                            
 Back-to-back we lay in bed                                                              ­                                    
 Wishing that the other was dead                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A volcano ready to erupt                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Yet nothing left between us                                                                     ­                                            
  Makes me wonder if there ever was                                                                                                      
Except the hate I always got                                                                   ­    
It's sick, it's sad, it hurts so much                                                                      ­                                
 That I chose to hate over love

You’ve overfed me everything you had at your disposable
Staring up at me as I’m hanging from the ceiling.
Chocolate, syrup, honey, lollipops.
My belly’s rumbling.
It’s scaring me.
Sweat continues to wash over my pale face.
With trembling hands I try to tear my stomach open by myself.
And there you are waving a bat right underneath my feet.
“Blindfold on or off?” You ask amusingly with a growing grin.
The black fabric peaking from your pocket which you ignore to take out.
I’ve lost. My mouth sewn shut. I can’t be saved now.
I mumble uncontrollably as you raise for the first blow.
It hurts, my whole body is ringing of burning pain, as I swing around fast side to side.
You spin for another blow with your eyes closed this time.
You miss.
You do it again, eyes open.
Pain explodes faster everywhere.
I’m muffling praying to fall any second now.
“COME ON YOU’RE GREEEDY YOU KNOW THAT?!!” He shouts jumping from below.
“OPEN UP!! GIVE ME SOME!!! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU DON’T SHARE??”
Tears are falling. I’m the one at fault. I’m the empath and you’ll do anything to make me feel this way, no matter what I do, it won’t be enough.
You overfed me and I ate so it was my fault.
You tried getting it all back but couldn’t expel it out of me so it was my fault.
You did your part, and all I did was intervene.
It’s all my fault.
It’s not you.
It’s all me.