I am the **** you do not notice
next to the saccharine flower
the one that silently grows
in the others shadow
the one that spreads itself out
and declares its space on the earth
while others are preoccupied watching the ephemeral flower bloom

It gets so lonely
In the midst of the crowd.
Surrounded by faces
Yet no one sees you.
Hear a thousand voices
Yet none speaks the
Language you understand.
The only one who did...
Never really cared.
And you are tossed
right back into
the world of silence.

I wasn't scared to fight, I was scared to lose.
I wasn't scared to shout, I was scared to be misunderstood.
I didn't move out to put an end,
I moved out to give you some space.
But you want what I didn't, so in your life now there is none of my trace.

I feel like a drink
to wash down the burning intensity of anger and frustration
Temporary feelings of momentary exasperation

I don't expect for you to truly see
what precisely is going on within me

Hidden behind walls
Wearing a mask
Lurking in the shadows
Is
Me

I am her
That girl
Who has never has laughed
Who never lets the sparkles into her eyes
Who never takes a chance on anyone

But the truth is
I once did
But I was shut down
I was pushed away
I was closed out

And now I want to
Laugh, sparkle, and trust
But how can I
When I have forgotten the way
And there is no one to lead me

Why is your opinion the only one that matters?
So stubborn and unreasonable it causes emotional scatter

My wholesome intentions are now twisted and skewed
Is it so hard to sympathize with another point of view?

I can be two things at once rational and empathetic
Couldn't you then be sensible and sympathetic?

You don't understand, but that doesn't make me wrong
My intentions, rationale and viewpoint also belong  

Guilty for doing what I feel is right and ****** if I don't
You could just be kind and support me, but I know you won't


You say I have a choice, but I know what that means
An order of silent treatment with a side of love liens

If I'm picking battles this is not one I'm fighting to win
The victory with a punishment that doesn't match the sin

Ultimately, it isn't the end of the world if I don't get my way
Respecting my reasons are not black and white, just simply grey

Even if you can't understand the picture to see my play

I'm tired and just trying my best not to take it to the mat

This time couldn't you just respect and trust me anyway

After all these years...

Haven't I earned that?

your gunpowder steel
on my sycamore blues
haunted by vanity
on a string just out of reach
escape the perpetual debt
we have to our makers
captive in sun strewn streaks of shade
never to feel the warmth of its gaze
willingly judged by sunburnt noses
for being less than
I just want to sparkle
in the ultraviolence.