Hold still for a moment.
  Appreciate that you are alive.
    Put away the distractions.
      Picture yourself
        Independent and free.
      Needing nothing
    Except yourself.
  Savor this inner peace as it
Shines through to the outside.

oceans are so serene and beautiful.
oceans are so black and peril.
my ocean changes frequently, i don't have much control over the waves.
some days the waves are a sparkly blue, with warm sunshine warming it through and through.
it sways so calm and lazily.
other days not so placid.
just like that the waves turn black and freezing, and the water crashes, smothering any beauty or peace in its sight.
i on my small boat, have to ride the waves no matter what,
they are mine of course.
when the sea storm rumbles and brews i whisper to myself “don't drown don't drown”
don't drown.
i refuse to let my ship sink and go down.
why you ask?
well..
because i force myself to think of how stunning the ocean is on the good days,
and
how much my ocean can withstand on a stormy day.
even if it is easier to let the water push my body under and take me,
i will not drown.

Where there once was peace and quiet
there's now an unbearable silence
I want to go back when
I didn't have to count to ten
to calm myself and all the pain
Not sure how I am still quite sane

Insanity would probably
be beneficial, naturaly
I'd just scream and shout and take a leap
Would that finally sweep me off my feet?
And stop my regrets playing on repeat?
Why do I have to get to the point of retreat
everytime someone makes their lying eyes weep?

All I want is something good and true
But everytime I try to look it's another you

The you that lies
with watery eyes
The you that cares to hold
my hand until it gets a little bit too cold
The you that tries hard to see the real me
to turn away as soon as I feel comfortable to be
The you that makes me look like a fool
to find out what you didn't want you just needed a tool
The you that wants to smother me all over
til I feel safe but you tell me I've only briefly been your four-leaf clover
The you that comes and goes as it pleases
leaving me sick and weary from all the diseases

you left
in my mind and heart
that's always the part
where you go and make room for another
to start the cycle anew, someone else to smother
my heart with thick heaviness
my mind with distrust, seeing always less
through the fog of disbelief
where I stand trying to retrieve
all that has been broken away from me
to swallow the bird of wisdom and talk myself into being free

But the bird is always dying
coming back but never flying
Still I keep it safe, protect it with my life
Together we will always strive
One day to release
This you and me will cease

One does not need to be born of royal birth
to realize their nobality
Their existence alone shows great triumph
Over life’s pain and reality
Deep inside our hearts
we are all Kings and Queens
Destined for a greater good
To serve and protect humanity
We are all of royal blood
Coming from a nation called earth
Fighting for peace and tranquility
While we objectify the laws of gravity
Letting our souls fly into a deep blue sky
As angels kneel when we Fly by

They say remove toxic people from your life,
but what am I supposed to do with this toxic heart of mine?

Crossing lines
Feeling empty, not happy
Not a Trophy!
At the end.
Mindset bend
Any sense lost
Over pain outmost
Love should be a victory
Now a lost memory..

I dont’t need a man to
love me to feel loved,

I just need a man to prove
to my brain that I can be loved by one.