Time is forgiving at times
Giving you things which last
Meanwhile you are preoccupied
Worried about the finish
Looking at the glass emptying
Drinking but not quite enjoying
Restless for some blissful
Forgetting to savour the sweetness
So becoming bitter with emptiness
Perhaps anger which boils over
At things not being as expected
However as this concoction rages
Something else is simmering
Waiting for you to realise
Revealing itself with tenderness

It's never been like this before.
Not as far as I can remember.
Your words, your mind, your voice, your smile...
Familiarity, down to strange details.

The way I feel I can read your mind as you debate an approach.
The way you likely notice me, pretending to not notice you.
Yet we both avoid meeting a gaze as the distance closes...

Smile, greeting, small talk, laughter...

...Touch....

And time stops - if for at least a second.

...Breathe, smile, banter...
A few seconds of silence and I've tripped on the tension.

Quick diversion. depart.

Sitting
Sinking
Into cloud landing

Falling through
Still sleeping
In white dust

Will my toes
Ever touch
The ground

Or will I be
Stuck - eyes closed
Forever

In a daydream

the mind needs to repeat this journey
into the clarity of fruits/glasses/doors
they used to talk with voices without tears
they used to speak without tongue
we are pedestrians into aerial dreams sometimes
we live in this density of meaning too complex for a circle
an uncoscious trajectory so precise & mysterious
I throw myself into the pool of time,
in its seeds, dangers, spirals,
into the unseen in my eyes
who I am is a destiny

From the depth of my cage
I saw you pretending to be
Not my keeper
Releasing me, only to chase me
Into my own nightmare
Of charred souls
Standing helpless
As I watched the ash blow away

When a mountain
   I dare not climb
the ropes and tackles  
  are in abundance

In great shape
  my body and mind
Not a weak link
  in the expedition

But when a mountain
  I dare to climb
the ropes and tackles
  are often misplaced

Out of shape
  my body and mind
Weakness as a
  spell does bind

Hopes and dreams
  of tireless youth can
be all but forgotten
  in the spiritually aged

Strength   the glittering
  cloak of youth can
fade in weakening
  jaded resolve

But in me common
  traits dissolve
The bucking steed
  will never be tamed

Pigeon-holed the
  misfortune of other
souls   has not been
  allowed by my resolve

But this determination
  is not without cost
The foothills of youth
  are far removed

by erosion caused by
  unstable belief systems
washed away into
  the Sea of Ambiguity

A distant mountain
  I often see
(distance   the deceiver
  of proportion)

Challenged at the foot
  of the formidable sight
halfway climbing
  only to slip and fall

Does this mountain
  need to be climbed
Do youthful dreams
  need to be fulfilled

When these dreams
  are all you ever had
you wake up falling
  or climbing higher

Driven by dreams
  and gifts and talents
that rage like a river
  in the driest desert

calling home what
  must come home
holding on to what
  must be fulfilled

Obstacles that have
  become landmarks
seem to fade
   into obscurity

like threats that
  always remain empty
laughing at what
  used to bring tears

I remain standing
  through all these trials
not unscathed
  and a bit weather beaten

halfway up another
  formidable mountain
making up for lost time
  from a major fall.

To allow yourself to feel
is the strongest thing
a human can do.

When we feel,
we are raw.
They say vulnerability
makes us weak—

But the truth is:
being vulnerable
makes you even stronger.

Because you have nothing to hide,
nothing to run from.
Your body cooperates
with your mind.

In Sanskrit, they call it — sahaja —
that which is born with you.
Feelings are not a weakness,
they are our guide.

To feel is to be.

Hope is the last thing ever lost" - Italian proverb

Hope.
And what if it is lost.
Call to it to come back.
It will come even in the face
of terminal blackness.
Walk into the ravaging dark.
Fall apart so that you may find,
Those long lost moments that made you shine.
The fireflies of the mind.
That flashing glow somehow soothes
things gone out of control.
Save one in a jar in your soul.
Hope.
The magic light that ignites internal growth.