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John Koroko Mar 4
The anger leaves my body
This feeling is soft
My eyes ***** up and my chest tightens
The base of my throat collapses in on itself
My head is my cave and the blizzard is malicious
Bits of snow fly in and taunt the flames on my fire
Behind my eyes there is water, laughter and a warm hand in mine
The snow moves through the fire and melts
Drops of water dry on the logs
I hope the blizzard stops
Daydreaming and Dissociating

Dissociation is a way of transcending one's own boundaries,

A feeling of weightlessness, of drifting in the viscosity of thoughts,

Daydreaming as a kind of state without space and time,

Lost in a Penrose triangle of emotions or feelings,

Nothing endures there, at the same time everything is there,

Like a library where the books only have empty pages,

A concert without music, without sounds, without lutes,

A meadow where no flowers grow or where flowers will never bloom,

A journey without a destination,

The body and mind reorganise, they change and adapt,

In essence, dissociating is a kind of daydreaming, only much less pleasant,

Daydreaming and dissociating fight for supremacy in me every day.
I was writing this when I was sitting in my favourite coffee store, while drinking a delicious coffee and experienced multiple dissociated moments.
Numb to touch
pressure under my skin.

Electric brush
stroke finely pricked.

Mind of innocence
Petals freshly plucked.

Left to adorn
shrouding my affliction.

Mine to live and lead
As partners pass and fade.
I am not my infection. I am not my illness. Rejection hurts but it's a learning curve.
Lillian Feb 27
I'm enveloped into my mind
This world was never meant for my kind,
So I fade way into pure imagination
Were I'm met by fascination
And I am greeted by my own Validation
My realm is realities Evacuation
Here everything is strange
But I wouldn't exchange
This dream-like place
For the face
Of desperate society
That causes my anxiety
In conclusion
Stay in delusion.
dee Feb 25
There's a blockage in my creativity pipe.
There's some potential I haven't tapped into yet,
I read old pieces and wonder
where is that inspiration?
I'd hate to think it's because I'm over the fact you left.
Why am I only able to create when my heart
doesn't function how it should?
The words are falling out of my head
I wish they would fall onto the page.
I used to be all the 3 "I's" in imagination
Originality ran through my blood
I could mold my pain into something so delicate.
I touched people's soul with a simple sentence.
And now I can't even create something I'm mildly okay with.
There's no endearment to kiss on letters.
Nothing to set my eyes on.
I guess alterations had to be made.
There's a blockage somewhere inside of me.
A change is coming.
This is more than a simple poem.
When you feel this lost, you are bound to find
what your soul is searching for.
everything feels weird, derealization is a understatement.
dee Feb 24
When you lose your mind to find your soul.
There's pieces of you that are left behind on purpose.
Pieces that are lost from your mind,
that you have to find again.
Chunks of me were knocked out by devotion.
Blessed with gifts of a reconstructor,
Given the title "autodidact".
When all the love 1 human can channel has gone dismissed
Do you know how much willpower it takes
for that human to learn not just to love again
To love themselves over the expected limit.
I begin to think I've done it all wrong.
There's this selfish dedication that I have towards myself.
I refuse to indulge in any type of intimacy.
Afraid of picking up pieces that are supposed to be apart of me.
I can only allow myself to love me.
Anything other than that is foreign to me.
I do not need your commitment
I have shown myself that word is an understatement.
I wipe my own tears.
I hug myself.
I wake up and force myself to eat when I do not want too.
That is the allegiance I have for myself.
I do not NEED you.
So I HAVE TO be everything I want in the next so I do not
fail myself by begging like a dog just for reciprocation.
I'm labeled independent by some.
Characterized myself as foolish,
for not realizing that it is adequate for any version of love
to love me as much as I do.
I'm really hard bodied fr lol
Celestial Feb 22
A redundancy,
I smell disdain.
No escape from the pungency.
A failure to break the chain.

A hole grows,
Inside while only one knows.
You, the keeper,
of the inner weeper.

Why wasn't there a difference?
No time to change?
A guess made from inference.
With 10 years, how strange.
To be a poet,
Is to constantly battle your greatest enemy,
Yourself.
If your mind is not your greatest adversary,
You'll never feel freedom in what you write,
Because if you didn't battle for the thought,
You didn't win it's right.
You are your best critique.
Dark lover Feb 21
Let the dark lead.
The dark is the light of the mind.
Take a deep breath and embrace it.
The dark is the light of the mind.
dee Feb 19
these days I analyze and modify my routine
each second I spend of the 24 hours,
with hope I can control the fluctuations of how I feel
in a day.
I brush my teeth, I critically think of everything,
I'm going insane.
I'm normal just like you.
I Feed myself scenarios and "what ifs" for breakfast
(I'm feeling all of it for a reason, it'll come back soon.)
Ponder much more, move much less.
I'm normal just like you.
I'm scanning over old art to feel the emotions I once felt,
(is it possible to feel comfortable within anger?
Shall I not propose a better path for myself?)
Then again, pondering more, moving very less.
I'm normal just like you
By the afternoon my conscious mind has ran it's way
through my past experiences
always giving me the urge to ask questions
I wish I didn't know the answer too.
I'm normal just like you
Now the world has shut down
and I sit in my room, empty mind
mouthful of smoke.
I'm able to see it all clearly,
I'm normal, the things I indulge in? Maybe not.
Do you remember who you were before the world
told you who you should be?
Wednesday has the audacity to be today.
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